


So Long and Goodnight!

by lookoutforburningbuildings



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 3000 hits im gonna die????, 4000 HITS IM GONNA DIE????, Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguments, Attempted Sex, Blackmail, Blood and Injury, Boys in Skirts, Break Up, Christmas, Communication, Crushes, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demiboy Logan, Dissociation, Distrust, Drugging, Established Relationship, Existential conversations, Figments, First Christmas, First Kiss, Flashbacks?, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Internal Monologue, Joke Chapter, Memories, Mindscape Magic, Minor Character(s), More Figments!, Movie Night, Multi, Nightmares, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Logan, Nonbinary Virgil, Panic Attacks, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Platonic Cuddling, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Remy and Virgil are best fcuking fri en ds, Scars, Self-Harm, Singing, Therapy, Threats, Trust, Trust Issues, Truth or Dare, Vomiting, as i like to call it, but for like one paragraph, i love nicole dollanganger and so does virgil, i used virgil to infodump about flowers, joking about the daddy kink, roman you can't just threaten people like this thats not how life works, thats it thats the whole first chapter, they gay, theyre more just memories, this story has more google doc pages than my actual novels im writing, we're halfway through this heck yeah, whoops, you know what that means
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 56,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookoutforburningbuildings/pseuds/lookoutforburningbuildings
Summary: They were like family to him, if your definition of family was people who would tell someone trying to kill you that only they got to kill you. Family isn’t supposed to turn on you. But sometimes, things happen, and you’re being pushed into a whole new situation. Quite literally, actually.





	1. Kicked Out

Virgil wasn’t exactly one to enjoy the sides he was assigned to be with. He only really liked one of them, and the others were just people he hated to be associated with. But it wasn’t like he had much of a choice in the matter. 

After spending time with them more and more as Thomas grew up, he realized just how much he liked them. And that wasn’t very much. Most of them had weird habits of making him feel bad or picking on him. Usually, he would retreat to the room they gave him, and hide away for a long while until he felt like coming back out. 

But they were like family to him, if your definition of family was people who would tell someone trying to kill you that only they got to kill you.

Family isn’t supposed to turn on you. But sometimes, things happen, and you’re being pushed into a whole new situation. Quite literally, actually.

Virgil watched as they cornered him, even the one he had enjoyed the company of. In his mind, they all looked so much bigger than they really were and seemed much more powerful than they were. He backed away from them until he hit a door he was never allowed to enter.

One of them got closer than the others, and Virgil looked to the others for help, knowing there was no chance of them helping. They reached their hand out, and Virgil flinched, screwing his eyes shut in fear. Then he heard a click, and opened an eye just in time to be forcefully shoved back, falling onto his back, hitting his head on something and needing to push himself back up to see the one who had pushed him.

“Later, asshole.” They said, grinning. “You can come back and get your stuff another time.” They looked up at something behind Virgil, before quickly slammed the door, leaving Virgil in wherever he was. He sat up fully and held a hand to the back of his head where it had hit.

The reality of the situation quickly hit him all at once, and he felt tears start to well in his eyes. They had just kicked him out without a second thought. Where the hell did they bring him? He looked around for a moment, his vision slightly blurred from the tears. It looked like he was in the exact same place, but all the lights were much brighter and the atmosphere was so much different. He stopped when his eyes met ones behind glasses across the room.

The person moved closer to Virgil, and he curled his hands into fists. The person got closer again and kneeled down in front of him. Virgil couldn’t help himself, and broke down into tears right there. He buried his face into his hands, and heard the person say something, but he wasn’t listening. It all morphed into this single noise in his head. The noise got louder, and he could hear loud footsteps, or at least he thought that was what they were. 

He felt dizzy. He dragging his hands away from his eyes and grabbed at the sides of his head, hands pulling at his hair, and he could almost hear follicles being pulled out. He heard a cluster of noises, like different voices. A pressure was put on his shoulder, and he quickly jerked back, looking up and seeing another person. He glanced around, seeing all the eyes looking directly at him. He felt like he was gonna pass out.

More noises. It all went through his ears and out the other, and he didn’t process any of it. Who the hell were these people? What were they gonna do with him? When he had been thrown into the mindscape at first, the others weren’t exactly thrilled. Or at least they acted like they were excited and then made it completely clear they weren’t. What were these sides gonna do?

Oh god, all the memories of the things that had happened to him over the years were flooding back. The lies, the pressure, the pain and torment, all of it. He couldn’t deal with all of that again, he just couldn’t, he could never get used to that all.

“Hey!” A much louder voice broke him out of his thoughts and he looked up in fear. Someone, obviously a side, was looking at him, almost like he was worried. Virgil didn’t think he honestly was worried. “Please, just breathe, okay? It’s gonna be okay, just breathe.” The voice was suddenly a lot softer than when it was yelling.

Virgil needed to take that advice, he had already fucked up the first impressions big time. Nobody wants to meet someone for the first time by them crying. He tried breathing as steadily as he could, but his breaths were shaky and his sniffling was not helping.

“It’s alright, okay? Just breathe.” The voice repeated words similar to that, and soon the words turned to a white noise, and Virgil was starting to feel somewhat more calm than before, but still filled with panic. It took a long while for him to be calm enough to start talking. He looked back up at them, swallowing hard. “Are you alright?” The person asked.

Virgil needed to take in the people around him. The person who was asking if he was okay, start with that. Virgil looked him up and down for a moment. Same face, of course, except for the glasses that made them look a bit different. Blue shirt, some kind of other shirt wrapped around his shoulders. 

“Are you alright?” They repeated. Virgil licked his lips, his mouth felt so dry now. He debated for a moment before nodding. “What happened?” They asked. Virgil opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. “Hey, follow me, alright?” Virgil nodded and slowly stood up, feeling instantly dizzy when he did. He also noticed just how short he was compared to the others. As if he didn’t get that enough back there. The person held out their hand, and Virgil shook his head, ignoring the hand. He didn’t want anyone touching him at the moment. The person nodded and started walking across the room, and he slowly followed behind, glancing to the side and seeing the two others following along.

Virgil sat down at the corner of the couch, and the person who had talked to him sat...honestly, a bit close for comfort to him, crossing his legs and facing Virgil. He was not used to being close to a bunch of people like this. Most of the time, it was like brothers on a hotel bed, on completely opposite sides, nowhere close to each other. One of the others sat down in one of the extra chairs near the couch, the other sitting on the other end of the couch.

“We should probably start out simple.” Another voice said, the one sitting on the other side of the couch. Names, he needed their names so he knew how to address them and which voice belonged to who. “Who are you, what’s your name?” They asked. Same glasses as the other one, a black shirt and necktie. He looked like a nerd. Interesting.

“I-I…” Virgil stuttered for a moment. They were all staring at him expectantly, he did not like this. He felt almost pressured, even if nobody was making him do anything. “M-My name’s Anxiety.” He muttered quickly. He hated saying his actual name, that just made everything so much worse the last time.

“‘Anxiety’?” The one in the chair asked. Virgil glanced over at him, noticing the confused look on his face. White shirt, red sash thing on his shoulder (what was he, a boy scout?), and some golden string wrapped around the other. “Are you one of the other--”

“Princey, we’re not gonna ask that just yet.” The one with the tie said, sounding quite stern. Princey? The hell kind of name was that? He was a side, wasn’t he? Why did they call him Princey? “Sorry about him. He’s a bit rude.” They shrugged. ‘Princey’ made an almost offended noise but rolled his eyes and settled them back to Virgil. “Anyways. As we were saying, we should probably tell you our names.” Virgil nodded, his eyes glancing over at Princey, who was watching him like a hawk. “I’m Logic, or Logan, whichever you prefer.” Thank god Virgil wasn’t the only one with an actual name. Not like he was gonna tell them, though.

“I’m Prince, or Creativity.” Prince said. 

“And I’m Morality, or Patton!” The blue shirted one said, sounding quite cheerful in contrast to how worried he had sounded at first. “So, Anxiety, do you mind us asking why you’re here?” He tilted his head slightly.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “I-I don’t know myself. They just...They just kind of k-kicked me out.” He said, looking down at the ground between his feet.

“Why would they kick you out? Aren’t you of value to them?” Logan asked. God, that phrasing sounded so gross to Virgil. Of course, he was sure that wasn’t what he meant. But what if it was?

“I...I had an outburst. I guess they were tired of me.” He felt like he was oversharing, but he had barely said anything of no importance. He felt so anxious (hah) about this, he wasn’t feeling like his usual cocky and confident self. He usually was so brave when it came to talking to people like this, but goddamn did it not work out at the moment. He shrugged. “They don’t exactly like me back there.” Virgil explained.

Logan nodded. “So, they decided to give you to us?”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, I-I guess so.” He sighed. “God, they didn’t even give me a heads up. They just kind of came up to me and shoved me through the door.” Prince gave him a surprised look. Virgil kept his eyes downcast. “So…” He glanced up, not moving his head. “I guess I’m stuck with you guys now?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say stuck. But, they did say you could come back to get your stuff, so I’d assume.” Patton shrugged, his words somewhat slow. Patton turned to Prince. “We have a room he can use, right?” He asked. Prince only shrugged in response. 

“This is the mindscape, Patton, we can create one if we need to.” Logan said. “But before that, we should make sure if this is just for a little while or if he’s gonna be with us permanently.” He looked back to Virgil, who shifted a bit uncomfortably. “Would you care if we had you down here for a little while until we confirm?”

Virgil sighed. “I wouldn’t care.” He said. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” He muttered to himself, not sure if the others would hear him. And from the fact nobody responded to it, he figured they didn’t.

Logan nodded and looked over to Prince. “Prince, would you mind helping me figure this all out?”

“Sure thing.” Prince said, standing up from his chair and looking at Patton. “Stay here with him, alright, Pat?” Patton nodded, smiling slightly. Prince smiled back at him and looked to logan. “Let’s figure this all out, shall we?”

And with that the two walked off and left Virgil with Patton.

“So, Anxiety.” Patton started, looking away from where Logan and Prince had went and back to Virgil. Patton started asking some normal questions you’d ask someone you just met, and Virgil answered them, a few a bit hesitantly. And all throughout it, Virgil could only think one thing:

_ ‘This is not gonna work out.’ _


	2. Little Talks

Virgil slowly opened his eyes, and they almost instantly burned at how bright it was in the room. It was usually so dark, why was it suddenly so much lighter? He sat up and looked around, hearing something in the same room, and looked over to see someone in the kitchen, cooking something. Then he remembered where he was.

The person in the kitchen looked back to Virgil and smiled. “You’re awake.” He said. “I’m making breakfast, if you want anything.” Virgil shook his head, remembering the first time he had something the others made. He felt his mouth go dry at the thought. 

Prince cocked an eyebrow. “You sure?” He asked. Virgil nodded. “Alright. You should take a seat at the table, though. We found an extra chair, so that’s good.” 

Virgil didn’t really wanna get up but sighed and swung his legs over the side of the couch and stood up. He walked over to the table, putting his hands in his pockets, feeling something in one of them. He’d investigate that later. He sat down at one of the chairs, and leaned back in it, the chair tipping slightly.

“You’re gonna fall if you keep doing that.” Prince warned, going back to the food. Virgil raised his head a bit to look over his shoulder, seeing what he was cooking. Pancakes. Damn, did he feel more hungry than before. Part of him regret saying no to the food, but the rest of him was perfectly fine. He moved his head back down and looked up at the ceiling. It had those weird popping out designs on them that Virgil didn’t really understand, but they were fun to follow around. 

He looked back down when he heard Prince humming a tune to himself. It sounded like a Disney song, but Virgil couldn’t place exactly which song. It didn’t take much longer before Prince was silently singing it. Virgil chuckled to himself, Prince did have a nice voice. Prince stopped when he heard Virgil laugh and looked back to him.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

Virgil shrugged. “Didn’t expect you to start singing ‘s all.” He paused for a moment, looking into Prince’s purple eyes. Why would they be purple? Was it because the whole royal connotations of the color? “You have a nice voice.”

“Oh, uh, thanks!” He said, his cheeks turning somewhat purple.. “But, we are all parts of Thomas, so I have the same singing voice as the others.” He said. “Though, not all of us sing often enough to do it in the same way.”

Virgil cocked an eyebrow. He was holding a pleasant conversation. How did that work? He could barely hold a non-pleasant one with the others, how did he manage it somewhat this time? “Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

Prince looked a bit confused at the response. Shit, he just realized how much that response didn’t make sense. But Prince smiled anyways and continued talking. “Do you sing?” He asked. “Though, I doubt you do.”

“What makes you doubt it?” Virgil asked. 

Prince paused for a long moment, staring at the wall in front of him before he shrugged. “I don’t know, I just can’t imagine the other sides singing for some reason.”

“Well, I used to sing. So, there’s your answer.” Virgil looked back up to the ceiling again. 

“What made you stop?” Prince asked.

Virgil bit his lip. Did he want to explain that to this guy he just met last night and made a first impression to by crying? “Don’t know. Just kind of stopped unless someone asked me to.” Okay, that didn’t sound very suspicious. Maybe that would work.

“Did they ask you to often?” God, more questions. 

“No, only one of them did on the occasion.” He shrugged. “But it’s whatever. Didn’t enjoy singing that much anyways.” More lies, what a good way to start off an acquaintanceship.

“I’m sure you have a nice voice too.” Prince said.

Fuck, that caught Virgil off guard. He never really got compliments when he was with the other sides. He never really learned how to take them. So he didn’t say anything. And Prince didn’t say anything either. They stayed in silence, only the noises of the pancakes being made in the room until footsteps went down the stairs. Virgil looked over and saw Logan walking down the stairs and sighed when he made it down. He looked almost a bit shocked when he saw Virgil, but went back to his usual empty expression.

“Oh, hello, Anxiety.” He greeted, taking a seat at one of the chairs. “Don’t fall while you do that.” Logan muttered, pointing to the chair Virgil was leaning back in. Virgil rolled his eyes and let the chair fall back with a loud clashing noise. 

“So, did you find out about, uh....” Prince trailed off, looking between Logan and Virgil as he did. His eyes settled on Logan when he finally finished his sentence. “Did you find out about the others’ intentions?” He asked.

“Oh!” Logan exclaimed, realizing what he meant. “Yes, we did do a small investigation after you left.”

“Are you saying you got Patton to join?” Prince asked.

“Yes, unfortunately. However, we did find out things from the side who was willing to talk to us.” Logan said. 

“Which side was is?” Virgil asked. He didn’t like how they were talking like he wasn’t even there. Plus, he didn’t like the fact they had actually talked to the others. That could have been seriously dangerous.

“Patton said it was the one who pushed you here.” Prince said. “Why, what was his name? He wouldn’t tell us.”

Virgil bit the inside his cheek. “I don’t wanna say.” He muttered. “So, uh, what did they say? Am I in here with you guys?” He asked. He didn’t want to get used to a bunch of new sides, especially after how terrible the last sides were to him at first. That happening again? Not his cup of tea.

There was a beat of silence before Logan went to say something, but loud steps went down the stairs, and Virgil looked over, seeing Patton hopping down the stairs, skipping a few steps. “Hey, kiddos!” He said so happily. Such a contrast from the others he lived with for so long.

“Hey, Pat.” Prince greeted. He took one of the plates of pancakes and put in front of an empty seat on the table. “Made pancakes.” 

“Oh nice!” Patton smiled a bit wider than before and sat down in the seat. Prince handed out the other two plates to Logan and himself.

“You sure you don’t want any, Anxiety?” He asked, looking up at him. Virgil shook his head and Prince muttered an ‘okay’ in a disbelieving tone. He took a bite of his food, which made a clanging noise when his teeth connected with his fork, making Virgil cringe. What an awful noise.

“So, uh, Logan. You were saying?” Virgil said, hoping he would continue. Logan glanced up from his food and nodded.

“Yes, you might be here for a long time.” Logan muttered, glancing downwards at the tiled floor. “We didn’t get a definitive time, but it will be a while before you go back.”

“Are you saying I’m gonna go back to them at some point?” Virgil cocked an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or upset that he would have to go back to the others who had put him through so much. Logan nodded, and there was silence between the other three. “So, we don’t know exactly how long I’m gonna be here, we just know that I’m gonna be here for a long ass time?” He heard Patton mutter ‘language’ under his breath.

“Well, they did say that it would be long enough for you to need a room in here.” Logan said. “Plus, they’ll need you to collect the things you want, or else they’re gonna get rid of it.” 

Virgil went to say something but stopped himself. He sighed. “Fine. When do I go get my stuff?”

“Sometime tomorrow, they said.” 

Virgil groaned, leaning back so his chair leaned with him as well. “So, I’m sleeping on the couch again, huh?” He asked, his eyes fixated on the ceiling.

“I mean, we can make a room before then!” Patton said, breaking the silence from him and Prince. “It won’t be too hard, I’m sure!” He said. 

“You’re quite the cheerful guy, aren’t you?” Virgil said, lifting his head up to look at Patton, who nodded, smiling again.

“He embodies pure emotion. He’s usually very happy, as Thomas is a happy person most of the time.” Logan explained. He glanced to Patton before leaning a bit closer to Virgil and whispering. “He also tends to feel emotions very intensely. So be careful what you say.”

Virgil wasn’t sure how easy that would be.


	3. Room For One More

They finished their breakfast in mostly silence, the occasional comment from one of the other three sides. Virgil said nothing. He didn’t have anything to say. After Prince finished his food, he got up and announced he was gonna help Thomas with something. He walked off, and Virgil wished he had been looking because the next second, he was gone. He elected to ignore it the best he could.

After a while him and Patton were the only ones left at the table. Virgil sighed and stood up. “I need a shower. You guys have one, right?” He asked, looking down at Patton.

“Yeah, do you know how to work it?” Patton asked, tilting his head slightly.

Virgil shrugged. “I’ll find you if I don’t.” He muttered, going to walk up the staircase. He made it up and found himself at a long hallway. Only four doors, two on one side of the hall, one on the other, and one in the middle at the end. He figure the one at the end of the hall had to be the bathroom, right? He opened the door after going down the hall, and flicked the light on. It looked fairly similar to the one back at his old place in the mindscape. 

He took off his jacket and tossed it onto the counter. He shut the door fully now, locking the door. He sighed and stared at himself in the mirror. He stared into his own grey eyes, biting at the inside of his lip.

He still had trouble processing all that was going on. Alright, let’s go through this. First, he had an outburst, yelling about how he hated it there and how he wished he could leave. Second, he was forced into the new part of the mindscape he never went to before and started crying because he didn’t expect the others to actually get him out of there. Third, he had to explain to the new people here what was happening. Fourth, he woke up the next day and managed to have a good and nice conversation with one of them.

Yeah, this was not a very simple situation.

He sighed and looked down at his arms. God, he was so glad he had that jacket. It covered all the scars and the large one running down his left arm. Though, it was fairly warm in this part of the mindscape. That might become a problem. Just pretend it’s the same and ignore it. It’ll be fine. Nobody needs to find out.

He shook his head and turned around to the shower, and turned the knobs, putting his hand under the water until it felt warm enough. Or, as one of the others had said, ‘excruciatingly scalding, seriously, what the fuck, Vee?’. He chuckled to himself at the memory (one of the few happy memories from there) and took off the remaining clothes he had on and hopped into the shower.

Showers, the perfect time for some thinking.

And damn, did Virgil have a lot on his mind.

 

Logan heard a knock on his door and spun around in his chair. “Come in.” He called out. In walked Prine, who looked somewhat concerned. “Something wrong, Ro?” Logan asked, raising an eyebrow.

Prince shrugged. “I’m kind of worried for the new guy. We’ve never had anyone from the other sides...join us.” He said, sitting down on Logan’s bed.

“Stay in here a bit longer, you’ll start thinking rationally.” Logan said, only half joking. Prince scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Listen, I’m sure this will all work out in the end. Trust me, the worst thing to happen is him never going back to the other sides.”

“Is that really a bad thing?” He asked, eyes flickering between the floor and Logan’s blue eyes. “I mean, he’s one of the  _ others _ . What if he turns on us?”

“Roman, it’s gonna be fine. His name is Anxiety, for god’s sake.” Logan chuckled. “The worst he could do is bite us with those fangs.”

Prince laughed, and there was a beat of silence.

“What do we do about us?” He asked.

“What do you mean by that?” Logan asked.

“I mean about...us three. What if he finds out?” Prince looked a bit more nervous now, but his position was more calm. “Do you think he’d care?”

“That’s something we’re gonna have to find out on our own, Ro.” Logan sighed, turning his chair back around. “Is that all you wanted to say, or do you have more dilemmas?”

Prince grinned. “Are you saying you don’t want me around?”

“Never said that.” Logan said, smiling a bit himself.

“In fact, I think you enjoy my company.” By now, Prince was standing up and behind Logan’s chair, wrapping his arms over Logan’s shoulders. “What’cha working on?” He asked, looking down at the papers on Logan’s desk.

“Thomas’ rational thinking.” Logan muttered, ignoring the first sentence Prince had said. He flicked the pen between his fingers and looked up at Prince, smiling a bit wider. “So, do you want the new guy to find out?”

“I don’t know.” Prince shrugged. “Part of me does, yeah.”

“Then we can have a discussion with him when the time comes.” He said.

“And when is that time?”

“When he starts to catch on, most likely.”

 

Virgil stepped out of the bathroom, drops of water dripping down the back of his neck and down his bangs. He walked down the hall, going a few steps down the stairs before seeing Patton sitting on the floor in front of the couch, messing with something on the table.

“Hey.” Virgil said, a bit more silent than what he had meant. Patton looked up and smiled.

“Heya, Anxiety!” He said, waving at him. Virgil walked down the stairs more and noticed he was messing with a stuffed animal. Not sure why, but he’d roll with it. “So, what’s up?” He asked, crossing his arms over the table. “You work on getting your room set up yet?”

“Don’t know how.” Virgil admit, shrugging. “The others made one for me.” Was the first nice thing they had done for him. Though, they might have just hated forcing Virgil to get up when he just wanted to sleep on the couch all day.

“I can help! Though, Prince might know more about this than me!” Patton said. “He helped us all make our rooms when we had to!” Virgil couldn’t help but smile at how excited Patton always seemed to be. He thought it was nice to still have that kind of innocence. He had only known him for a day, but he was already starting to like him. Back with the other sides, he had clung on to one of the sides as well, and he didn’t expect the same thing to happen here. God, he hoped the exact same thing wouldn’t happen again.

“Sounds good.” Virgil said. “You wanna work on that now or later?”

“Now works!” Patton answered. He stood up, and walked up the stairs halfway before motioning for him to come with him. Virgil nodded and followed behind. The two walked down the hallway to the empty space next to Prince’s room. 

Virgil just noticed how the walls had a bunch of picture frames on it, mostly of just Thomas, but one was of all three of the sides here. They looked like they were wearing Christmas sweaters, and Patton was bringing all of them into a hug, Prince looked a bit shocked but still smiling, and Logan looking just as stoic as he had seen him before. He looked almost annoyed. Overall, it was still a pretty cute picture.

“This is the only space we have for the room, so here would be fine, right?” Patton said, pulling him out of his thoughts. Virgil looked back and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds good.” He muttered. “Why do you guys have so many pictures on the walls?”

“Well, we usually kept them in my room, but the others wanted to bring a few of the better ones out here!” Patton explained. “Why?”

“Oh, well, we just never did that before.” Virgil shrugged. He felt a bit upset about the fact the others didn’t exactly care enough to take or keep pictures. But it didn’t matter, right? They were just pictures. Well, they were of memories...he needed to get his mind off this. And off the others. “Whatever. So, how do you create the room?” 

Patton smiled wider and clapped his hands together. “Watch this.” He whispered, sounding really excited. God, he was like a child with how excited he was all the time. But who was Virgil to judge him based off information from only a day so far?

Patton held out a finger and started drawing an outline of something rectangular. After he finished that, something about the wall started to glow, and after a few seconds, Virgil had only blinked and suddenly there was a door there.

“What the hell?” Virgil muttered. Did that...did a door just appear out of nowhere? Was that how it worked? That was so sudden, how does that even work? “Did you just create a room from thin air?” Virgil asked, looking up at Patton. Though it wasn’t really looking up, they were almost the same height. 

Patton nodded. “Well, we need R--Prince. We need Prince to help us make the room itself!” He smiled, ignoring his slip up. Virgil narrowed his eyes slightly but ignored it as well. “Hey, Princey!” He yelled. It took a moment before Prince walked out of one of the rooms that obviously wasn’t his. Afterall, his door had a bunch of drawings on the outside of it. Maybe even on the inside.

“What’s up, Pat?” Prince asked, glancing over to Virgil and smiling slightly. 

“We’re making Anxiety’s room!” Patton said. “We need your help with the room part though.”

Prince chuckled slightly. “I really need to teach you guys how I do it, don’t I?”

“I don’t think you’ll really need to do this again.” Virgil cut in. Prince and Patton gave him a surprised look for a moment but went back to the room. Prince started to explain something to Patton really simply and slowly, as if he might not get it. Virgil rolled his eyes and looked back to the pictures on the walls.

He remembered some of the events pictured. Thomas learning to ride a bike, him on a holiday, and one of those terrible school pictures. It was nice to look back on these, but it made Virgil wish he were back at those times. They were much better, and Virgil wasn’t present in Thomas’ life as much as he was later in life.

Virgil wasn’t around much until Thomas had hit puberty, and that’s when he got a bit more involved. It wasn’t a fun time for Thomas, and he could only guess it wasn’t for the other sides as well. Though, if it wasn’t, they sure as hell didn’t tell him. God, what about these...happier sides? Did they recognize what was happening? They could’ve interfered, right? If they could, why didn’t they?

“And now you open the door, and there’s the room, got it?” Prince said, once again bringing Virgil away from his thoughts. He looked back, realizing he had wandered down the hallway a bit, looking at the pictures. He slowly approached the two again.

“Not at all!” Patton shrugged. Prince scoffed but didn’t attempt to explain it again. He just went back to the door, turning the knob and opening it to a room that was obviously not there before. Virgil took a few steps forward and looked into the room. It was furnished quite nicely, just having the usual things you find in a bedroom. Of course, Virgil would have to bring a lot of stuff from his old room. God, that felt weird to think. His old room. 

“So, uh, Anxiety?” Prince started, seeming a bit nervous. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Each of our rooms have different effects on the sides who enter them. Did your old room have any effect on others?” He asked. God, it felt even weirder to hear.

“No...someone else’s room did, but mine never did.” He shrugged. “I doubt that’ll change.”

“Oh, what effect did the other’s have on people?” Patton seemed excited again. Virgil couldn’t help but smile. “I’m curious about the other sides, if I’m fully honest!” He paused for a moment. “Well, I’m not honest. I’m dad!” Virgil had to stifle a laugh.

“I abandon you.” Prince muttered, even though he was smiling. 

“Yeah.” Virgil mumbled. “But, uh, his room always made people lie. No matter what you were trying to say, it would come out as a lie. It was an odd experience.”

“Well, I hope your room has a more positive effect on others!” Patton said.

Virgil hoped so as well.


	4. Objects Hold Memories

Patton was muttering something about the movie the two were watching. He was currently curled up in Prince’s lap while watching some Disney movies. It was late the next day, the day after they had created Virgil’s room. They weren’t sure what he was doing up there, but he didn’t seem to be coming out very often. Not that they minded it, they were just somewhat worried. Patton had started to like Virgil. He seemed like a nice guy for where he came from. 

It was half way through the movie when they heard a knocking noise. Prince sighed and paused the movie. “Hello?” He called out. The knocking came again and he recognized it as the door under the stairs and in the kitchen. The one Virgil was pushed through. “Oh geez.” He muttered. “I should get that, Pat.” Patton nodded and moved off of Prince, letting his stand up and walk over to the door, slowly opening it up. A face popped through the door out of the darkness.

“‘Ey, Roman, was it?” He asked. Prince rolled his eyes and nodded. “Cool, go get the anxious guy, he needs to get his shit together.” Patton almost reflexively scolded him for swearing, but kept himself from doing it. Prince nodded again. 

“I’ll get him. Give me a minute.” Prince said, walking away, shutting the door on the side. He looked over to Patton. “Don’t let anything happen to you, alright?” He said in a more hushed tone. And with that, he walked up the stairs and down the hall, knocking on Virgil’s door. “Anxiety?” He called out. He heard a shuffled from inside and Virgil opened the door just enough to look through. “The, uh, other sides want you to get your stuff.” Virgil’s eyes widened and he went through the door, biting the inside of his cheek.

Prince followed Anxiety down the stairs, and Anxiety didn’t speak as he went to the same door he went through the first time. He took a deep breath before knocking on it once, the door instantly opening.

“Come on, we’ve got a box in case you need it.” The side said, pulling him by his wrist into the slight darkness and then into the living room of the other sides’ part of the mindscape. Virgil bit his bottom lip as he was dragged up the stairs and down the hall, and shoved into his room. “Grab your stuff and get out, got it?” Virgil nodded and the door was slammed shut, leaving Virgil alone in his room. Correction: His old room. He did not like the fact he would be leaving this place. Bad memories aside, he grew up there. Why would he want to just...leave?

He looked around, finding the box on his bed. He rolled his eyes at how torn the box was. Classic of them. As long as it didn’t break while he was carrying it, everything would be fine. He looked around his room and started at his desk.

Getting the usual stuff, including the purple laptop he had been given a while back. He felt his hand drift across something cold. He looked down at it, and a smile slowly formed on his face. He picked up the object.

A necklace with a silver ring on it. Engraved into the ring was the work ‘JERK.’

He laughed slightly. He remembered the time he was given it.

 

_ “I got you a gift.” He showed Virgil the piece of paper with the words written on it. Virgil glanced up from his notebook, seeing him holding out a necklace with a ring on it. He read the words on the ring and chuckled. _

_ “Aw, is that what you think of me?” Virgil asked. He nodded and Virgil put the necklace around his neck. Virgil then noticed a similar necklace around his neck. “Did it come with a matching one?” _

_ “Yep.” He wrote, smiling, showing off sharp canines. All of them had those same canines. He pulled the necklace off of his neck and held the golden ring on it to show Virgil what it said. ‘BITCH.’ _

_ “That is amazing.” Virgil laughed. He gave a fake gasp. “You finally got a necklace that explains your personality!” Virgil said, laughing again when he shoved him playfully. “Come on, it’s the truth!” _

_ “Maybe so.” He wrote down again. Virgil took the purple pen out of his hand and started lining the drawing he made with it. He sputtered out something that was probably gonna be a protest.  _

_ “My pen, dude.” Virgil muttered, still smiling. _

_ He took the notebook away from Virgil. “My notebook.” He wrote down on the inside cover, holding it in front of him just to show Virgil it. Virgil scoffed, but was quickly shoved again so he was laying on the bed, with him crawling on top of him.  _

_ “Gay.” Virgil said. He rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss Virgil. _

 

He sighed, and put the necklace into his pocket. Those were the better times. He continued putting stuff into the box.

He moved on from his desk and looked further around the room. He usually kept most of his stuff on the desk (or on the floor), so there wasn’t much to take with him. He looked over to his nightstand to see if he had left anything in the drawers, and then noticed something standing by his bed. The black ukulele. Oh, he was absolutely bringing that with him.

He barely even remembered how he got it. If he remembered correctly, he had just found it in his room one day. Or maybe someone took the memory of it being given to him away. Wouldn’t have been the first time. He ignored the thought and picked it up, putting it into the box, which it just barely fit into. He could probably cover it up with something, knowing that the other sides might make fun of him for bringing it with. They hated him playing it, except for one of them.

He looked through his drawers, taking a few things. Then he came across the notebook.

It was a nice notebook, with a leather cover and half of the paper lined, the rest plain paper. It was a gift, and a good one at that.

 

_ “Take it before I change my mind…” He said, quickly realizing how rude that came off as. _

_ Virgil chuckled and took the notebook, opening it up to the front cover, seeing the cursive handwriting in purple ink. _

_ ‘Property of Virgil Sanders’ _

_ He flipped through the pages for a moment, noticing the alternating types of paper. His fingers unconsciously dragged across the front cover, making a strange noise, but it was a nice noise. He looked up to him _

_ “Thanks, Dee!” _

 

Virgil put the notebook in the box and went to leave the room. Then he remembered he had something somewhere in one of his clothing drawers that he hid from the others half the time. He put the box down and walked over, opening the drawer and sifting through the clothes (most of which were black, but who would’ve thought otherwise?) and found something he had not been looking for.

An empty pill bottle.

He dropped it, taking a few steps back. No, he did not want to remember that. He didn’t want to remember, he didn’t want to fucking remember please don’t make him--

 

_ “Hey, Virge.” The voice was scratchy. He looked up and saw him standing there. “I know Dee got you a gift, so I have one for you as well.” _

_ “...He told you he got me a gift?” Virgil looked up from the older notebook he had been using. _

_ “No, it’s just pretty obvious when you both have rings at the same exact time.” He rolled his eyes. “Lemme show you.” He grinned, walking over and holding something out to Virgil. Virgil slowly took it, recognizing it.  _

_ “Where the hell did you get this?” Virgil asked, giving him a concerned look. _

_ “Not important.” He said sternly. “Just take a few.” _

_ “No!” Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “What even are they?” _

_ “If you don’t take them now, I’m gonna make you take the entire bottle.” He threatened. Virgil knew he wasn’t messing around. _

_ He slowly took a few of the pills out of the container, his hands shaking somewhat. “Please, what are they?” _

_ “You’ll find out.” He said. “Just take them. They’ll kick in after a couple minutes. Knowing you, you’ll probably enjoy the results.” _

_ What was that supposed to mean? He didn’t think about it and quickly put the four pills in his mouth, which were damn hard to swallow without water, but he managed. _

_ He smiled and sat on the end of the bed, legs crossed and facing Virgil. He was waiting for something. Virgil was afraid. _

_ Until he started feeling pain. _

_ “What...did you do?” Virgil asked. “What the fuck did you do!?” He looked up at him. He was grinning evilly.  _

_ Okay, now he was terrified. _

_ Every scar he had was burning, his muscles felt like they were dying, and his head was killing him, feeling like his eyes might just pop out at the pain behind them. _

_ “What the fuck kind of pills were those?!” Virgil yelled. _

_ “Anti-anxiety pills.” He said, standing up and leaving with a simple “Later” to signify he was going. Virgil was gonna follow, but he felt himself collapse. To the ground, head in between his hands. Was he gonna die? What if he died? A thought appeared in the back of his mind: _

_ “What if he makes me take them again.” _

 

Virgil’s panicking was cut off by the side. The one who had drugged him. He looked up at him. “Hey, are you done packing yet?”

Virgil swallowed nervously but nodded, picking up the box. He didn’t need whatever was in the drawer. It didn’t matter anymore. He felt himself shaking but he continued and walked with him down the stairs and towards the door in the kitchen. He saw in the corner of his eye someone giving him a concerned look, but he didn’t bother looking over at them. He needed to get to his new room and just break down.

He walked through the door, seeing Patton and Prince at the kitchen table, discussing something. The looked up at him and quickly noticed something was up.

“You alright, kiddo?” Patton asked, tilting his head somewhat.

“You look shaken up, is something wrong?” Prince asked as well.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Virgil was barely listening, but he nodded despite it. “I’m gonna go...put my stuff up.” He muttered, walking towards the stairs and walking up them, leaving Prince and Patton confused.

After Virgil made it up the stairs, Patton said something. 

“Something is wrong.” He said.

“State the obvious.” Prince mumbled. “Maybe we should just leave it alone. He probably knows how to get through it.”

“I’m gonna help him.” Patton insisted, standing up and walking up the stairs.


	5. Confused and Rude

Patton knocked on the door. “Hey, Anxiety?” There was silence on the other side. “Could you let me in?” He could heard Virgil make a muffled noise. “I’m coming in, alright?” He said, going to open the door, but stopped when he heard Virgil say something in a shaky voice.

“Don’t!”

Patton stopped himself. “Okay.” He said calmly. He turned around and sat down, his back against the door. There was a long silence for a moment. “Everything okay?” He asked.

“I’m alright, don’t worry about it.” He heard Virgil say. The sniffling he heard after that just proved how he was lying. “You can leave now.”

“I’ll stay.” Patton said. “Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

“Do you want to come out of your room? Or let me in?”

“No.”

“Alright.” 

“...You aren’t gonna leave, are you?”

“No.” Patton smiled.

“If I open the door, will you leave me alone?” Virgil asked.

“As long as you’re truly okay, I will.” Patton said.

He didn’t expect the door to open so quickly, and he almost fell through the doorframe when Virgil opened it. He stood up and smiled with a slightly concerned look directed at Virgil. It was obvious he had been crying, as tear tracks were evident on his face and the eyeliner under his eyes had dripped and smeared somewhat. Virgil stood there, one hand on the doorknob and the other messing with the purple spike plug earring he had.

“You happy?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow. “You can go now.” He went to shut the door, but Patton put his hand on the door, forcing it to stay open, even if Virgil tried shutting it with more force. Damn, he was pretty strong. Virgil gave up closing the door and just stood in the doorway, crossing his arms. “What do you want?”

“I said I’d leave when everything was alright again.” Patton said. Virgil sighed and opened the door further, ushering him inside. Patton smiled again and walked in, looking around his room for a moment. It looked...strangely dark in there. And cold. Patton almost shivered. “So, what happened?” He asked, turning back to Virgil, who closed the door again.

“Just bad memories getting to me. I’ll be fine.” Virgil rolled his grey eyes. “Why do you care?”

“Because you’re with us now, and I’m basically the dad friend.” Patton chuckled somewhat. “I care for all of us!”

Virgil gave him a look of disbelief but shook his head. “Whatever.”

“What exactly about these memories made you upset?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Virgil sighed. “They’re just bad, okay? Bad things happened. Doesn’t matter.”

“If it’s upsetting you, it matters, Anxiety.” Patton reassured. Was Virgil gonna be this hard to work with all the time? Either way, he liked the challenge. He was determined to try and make Virgil feel at home here. “Nothing is a stupid reason to be upset.”

“Yeah, no, there are stupid reasons.” He said. “If I tell you, you’re just gonna laugh.”

“What makes you think I’d laugh?” Patton asked. He felt almost appalled at the fact Virgil would think he’d laugh at his problems. Virgil shrugged. “Kiddo, I won’t laugh. Trust me.”

Virgil stared at him for a moment, biting his bottom lip, sharp canines exposed slightly. He groaned. “Fine. I’m sad because my memories were of someone making me to do something that hurt me. Go ahead, laugh.”

“Why on earth would I laugh about that?” Patton asked. He was even more appalled someone would force Virgil to hurt himself in any way. “Anxiety, that’s awful!”

Virgil gave him another look of disbelief. “Because every time I brought up anything like that, they laughed.” Virgil muttered. “I’m surprised you aren’t laughing.”

“Anxiety.” Patton said a bit more sternly. He felt bad when Virgil flinched. “It might seem normal to you, but trust me when I say it’s not.”

“Why should I trust you?” Virgil asked. “I get that Thomas thinks it’s bad, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t normal. It’s completely normal for me. I really don’t care. Now, will you just leave?”

“Anxiety, would you mind me hugging you?” Patton asked. Virgil was caught off guard. Did he actually just ask for a hug? Why would he want to do that? Especially right now, of all times.

“Yeah, actually, I would.” Virgil scoffed. “I don’t need pity. I’m fine.”

“Anxiety, you were crying. That’s not fine.” Patton said. “And I’m not giving you pity. I’m being sympathetic.” 

“That’s basically the same thing.”

“No it isn’t!”

“Whatever.” Virgil mumbled, walking over to his bed and sitting down. “Just leave me be, alright? I’ll be fine.”

Patton went to say something but stopped himself. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone.” He gave up, and walked over to the door. “Stay safe, okay?” He said, looking over his shoulder. He opened the door and left the room.

Virgil groaned and laid down, his legs hanging off the side of the bed. He honestly regret talking to Patton like that. He didn’t like how rude he was being, but he just couldn’t stop himself. A bad habit of his whenever he was upset or mad. He would push people away. It was one of the reasons... _ he  _ left.

He raised a hand and covered his face with it. He stared through the gaps in his fingers, wanting to do something other than loathe the bad times and regret his decisions. He sat up against, and grabbed his laptop from the bottom of the box, having to move a few things. He set it down on the end of the bed, opening it up and pulling something up. He knew this would help him calm down more than he had during the conversation.

He also grabbed his ukulele.

He tested it out a few times, needing to retune it again. He glanced up and tried out the first few chords he saw on his screen.

He hoped nobody would hear him.

 

Patton walked down the stairs, seeing both Logan and Prince there, Logan looking through the fridge and Prince sitting at the table, doing something on his phone (possibly looking through instagram).

“Hey.” Prince said, holding up a peace sign.

“Did it go well?” Logan asked, closing the fridge door and holding something that he didn’t bother to take note of. Patton sighed, Prince must have told him.

“Not so well.” Patton muttered. “He didn’t wanna talk. He was actually pretty insistent about it.”

“That’s kind of surprising.” Logan said. “He seemed to need the company the first time this happened.”

“He was literally kicked out of his home, who wouldn’t need comfort?” Prince said. “So, Pat, what happened with him?”

“Bad memories were getting to him, but that’s all he told me.” Patton lied. No, he wasn’t lying, right? He was just...leaving out the details. Yeah, that sounded better. He didn’t want to share things that could have been private. “I feel kind of bad.” He admit. “Like I made him talk to me.”

“You were just trying to help, there’s nothing wrong with that, Patton.” Logan reassured. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He started walking towards the staircase. “I need to help finish some work.”

“Aw, come on.” Prince muttered. 

“You know I have work to do, Roman.” Logan said, hand on the railing and one foot on the next stair. Prince groaned. “I can come back down when the work is done.”

“Or when we come and stop you from overworking yourself?” Prince asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, or that.” He mumbled, walking up the stairs and towards his room.

He stopped when he heard a silent noise from Virgil’s room. He slowly approached the door, not intending to enter.

_ ‘If I were one of the things, _

_ I’d be american garbage. _

_ A most beautiful thing, _

_ The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen. _

_ Brand new and bruised. _

_ On the way to building a better you. _

_ Brand new and bruised, _

_ Confused and bruised, _

_ Confused and rude.’ _

It was nice singing, Logan had to admit, and the lyrics were...interesting to say the least. But he ignored what he had heard, as the music stopped a couple seconds after that and he still had work to continue doing. He decided that this would just be a thing between him and Virgil that neither of them really knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is American Garbage by Andrew Jackson Jihad if you're wondering!


	6. Breakfast

Going back downstairs in the morning proved to be a very awkward experience. Patton was already downstairs cooking something. Virgil gave him a small smile which he reciprocated and went back to the food.

“What are you cooking?” Virgil asked after a beat of silence, opening one of the lower cabinets that he could reach. He wasn’t sure what he was even looking for specifically, all he knew he wanted was something to eat.

“Just breakfast.” Patton shrugged. “Are you feeling better?” He asked.

“Yeah…” Virgil muttered. He found a box of granola bars in the next cabinet over and decided that would be enough for breakfast. 

“Why are you taking that?” Patton asked, not moving his head from the food he was making.   
“Just hungry.” He said, slightly confused. Why else would he be taking it?

“But I would’ve made you something. I was gonna ask you if you wanted anything!” Patton looked over at him, looking much more confused than him. Then he remembered: it was still only the fourth day he was there. They would still be nice to him, like last time. First few days are full of them pretending to be nice because you’re a newcomer.

“Right, uh, I’ll have whatever.” Virgil shrugged, putting the bar back into the cabinet and shutting it, forgetting how loud that would be. It made him jump slightly. Patton tilted his head at him. “Whatever you’re already making.” He said. He didn’t want to be any trouble.

“Alright.” Patton mumbled, nodding and going back to cooking.

Virgil sighed and sat down at the same spot he did the first few times he had eaten with the three. He tapped his black nails against the marble patterned table top while he waited. He wasn’t even fully sure what he was waiting on. More of the sides to come down? The food to be finished? Who knew. He sure didn’t.

Logan came down the stairs first, faint bags under his eyes. He must have not gotten much sleep, or he adopted the terrible sense in makeup of Virgil. He sighed, sitting down at the same chair he had before. 

“Hey, Lo!” Patton greeted happily. “You sleep enough?” He asked. Logan groaned and shook his head. “I thought we told you to sleep!” Patton scolded, taking the pancake off of the frying pan.

“I know, I know.” Logan muttered. “We had a lot of work to do, I kind of finished some when I woke up in the night.”

“What time?” Patton asked, giving an expectant look even though he wasn’t looking at Logan. Logan paused for a moment, glancing at Virgil with a look that said ‘help me’. Virgil smiled and shook his head. Patton repeated himself. “What. Time.”

“Okay, so I might have been awake at 2AM.” Logan said, raising his hands in defense. Patton gasped dramatically. “I don’t see why you care.” He muttered, putting his hands back down.

“Uh, because I care about you!” Patton exclaimed, sounding like he was asking a question. “You can’t keep staying up late like this, it’s gonna affect Thomas, and not in the good way!”

“Using my own rhetoric against me?” Logan raised an eyebrow. “Clever.” He smiled slightly. “What are you making?”    
“Pancakes again.” Patton shrugged. “You want blueberries in yours, right?”

“Yep. Remember that Prince wants the chocolate chips.” Logan said.

“Already made his.” Patton said. “Virgil, do you want anything in yours?”

“Uh, no, I’m good.” Virgil wasn’t expecting to join the conversation again. “Just regular ones.”

“Do you want butter or syrup on them?” Patton asked.

“No, I’m good.” He shrugged. This felt so awkward. Luckily, attention was shifted when Prince came down the stairs, announcing his presence with a loud ‘hello’. It almost made Virgil flinch. “Hey there, Princey.” He greeted, holding up a hand, barely waving it.

“Hey.” He smiled. Virgil noticed the red and gold eyeshadow on Prince’s eyelids. It looked really nice. “Everything okay yesterday?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Virgil said, his mood almost instantly shifting from somewhat nervous to slightly angry. Only Logan hadn’t asked about it, and yet he was already getting tired of the question. “What’s with the eyeshadow?” He asked, trying to shift the attention.

“I just like putting it on. Figured I should try it out again.” He shrugged, sitting down at an empty seat. “Been a while since I did last time.” 

“It’s been about a month now, right?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, something like that.” Prince replied. “So, what’s with  _ your _ eyeshadow?” He asked, looking to Virgil.

“I just wear it a lot.” He said. “It helped me fit in more back with the other sides.” 

“I will admit, it does kind of make you look attractive.” Prince complimented. “It goes with the dark look to you, especially the sharp teeth.”

Okay, that was the opposite of what was to be expected. Virgil’s eyes widened for a second in surprise before he narrowed them again and grinned. 

“Wish I could say the same for you.” He said, joking around. Prince gave him a slightly offended look and Patton tried to stifle a laugh, Logan giving him an almost fearful look yet smiling.

“Excuse you?” Prince asked, shaking his head slightly as if he was getting rid of a bad thought.

“Yeah, no, I much prefer the look of grotesque monsters, if you ask me.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat, resting his arms behind his head.

“Is that where Thomas gets the love for monsters?” Patton asked, putting more of the food onto a plate and turning the burner off. “That explains a lot.”

“How dare you insult me?” Prince asked, putting a hand to his chest in an offended manner. Virgil couldn’t tell if he was being serious about it or if he was joking with him. Virgil shrugged and watched Patton hand out the plates of food to the others and him. “Rude.” Prince muttered, rolling his eyes and starting to eat.

Virgil wasn’t sure if he could trust the food here yet or not, but either way he started eating. It felt very awkward to eat in front of other people, as it was something he rarely did back with the other sides. None of them ever really cooked for each other, so it felt very foreign. He almost felt sick eating the food, but he ignored the feeling. Even if he did get sick, it wouldn’t be the most embarrassing thing to happen to him, here or back with the others.

The three tried making small conversation with each other, and occasionally him, but he would just answer with one word or one sentence and continued to eat. 

“Hey, Anxiety, where’d you get the necklace?” Prince asked a one point. Virgil glanced up, noticing all the eyes on him again. Great. “Is it a ring or something?”

“Yeah, it’s a ring.” Virgil nodded. “It has ‘jerk’ carved into it.”

“Fitting.” Prince muttered, and Patton punched him in the shoulder.

“Where’d you get it?” Patton asked, trying to change the topic of Prince being rude.

“It was a gift. It has a matching one that says ‘bitch.’” Virgil chuckled at Patton muttering ‘language’ after he said the last word. He was a lot like a father, or maybe more a mother. It was entertaining to see him act like a parent towards the others.

“Who has the other half?” Logan asked.

Virgil paused, not sure how to respond. Should he tell the truth? 

“I should go.” Great fucking use of ‘Fight or Flight’, Virgil. He could’ve, no, he should’ve said anything else, but now he had to go with it. He stood up, pushing his chair in. Patton gave him a confused look, and he saw Prince and Logan give him slightly surprised ones.

“You sure?” Patton asked. “You barely ate anything.”

“Not hungry.” Virgil muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going to the stairs.

Once he had left the room and it was obvious he was gone and into his room, Logan turned back to the others. They both looked confused now.

“I’m guessing that was a sensitive subject.” He said. 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Prince mumbled. “He’s kind of rude, isn’t he?”

“We had to deal with your rudeness, Roman.” Logan said. “Now you get to see what it’s like.”

“Oh, come on, I was only joking back then!” Prince declared. “I don’t think he’s joking about half the things he says.”

“He was with the other sides for a long time, he probably doesn’t know how to be that nice most of the time.” Logan shrugged, taking another bite of his food.

“I think he’s might be nice, he just needs to get used to us.” Patton chimed in with. “He is Anxiety, after all. It gets better when you talk through it or get more used to it.”

“Well, he doesn’t exactly represent the disorder, Pat.” Logan started to explain. “He represents all of Thomas’ insecurities and fears. Yes, he is responsible for most of Thomas’ anxiety, but he also causes a lot of other negative feelings.”

“Yeah, I don’t like that.” Prince muttered.

“I don’t think any of us like that, but we need to realize and address it.” Logan said. “I’m sure we’ll all get used to him sooner or later.”

Once he was in his room, Virgil groaned and shut the door behind him. God, could he have done that any worse? He could’ve just said he didn’t wanna talk about it, but no, he had to get up and leave. He decided he needed to get his mind off of that. Nobody was around, he could sing something, but he wasn’t really feeling it. 

He sat down on his bed and dug through the box of things. He pulled out his phone and started to check any social media he downloaded. That got boring fast.

He sighed and realized that soon, Thomas would be making a video. Maybe he could interfere with that, just for some fun. Like he had used to do all the time when he needed to get away from the others. He would do that when it started later.

Later came slowly, but it came nonetheless.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was I not wanted here at this exact moment?”


	7. Sleep

Things did not go exactly as planned. Superwoman? Really? That was an unexpected turn of events. He went back to his room, hoping to god people didn’t take him for an asshole or an idiot, even if he felt he was both of those things. Only he was allowed to call himself those things. Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

He sighed and sat down on his bed, pulling his phone back out. Thomas must have been in the process of editing that video, but he honestly didn’t care. He only cared if the thousands of people he just revealed himself to hated him.

He whispered the lyrics to a song under his breath as he scrolled.

_ “So give me all your poison, _

_ And give me all your pills, _

_ Give me all your hopeless hearts to make me ill. _

_ You’re running after something that you’ll never kill. _

_ If this is what you want, then fire at will.” _

He kept singing to himself silently, occasionally checking his notifications to see if Thomas posted the video, as if it would be done that night. He would probably post it the next day and finish editing tonight (or 3AM in the morning, knowing Thomas), but Virgil still felt anxious about it. Then again, what else is new?

Also, ignoring the fact he was dragging into Superwoman’s house, Prince had been there to give him the idea. The hell is he doing now is the real question. He could go out to the living area, but he didn’t think that would be the best idea. Patton and Logan had probably known about the whole charade and maybe they were gonna confront him about it, and that was not something he wanted right now. Or ever, really. Confrontation that came from the other sides were usually very bad. He didn’t know how it would go over with these sides.

“Anxiety?” A knock was on his door. “Let me in.”

Speak of the devil.

Virgil sighed and put his phone down, walking up to the door, and opening it a crack. “Yeah?” The door was pushed open further and there was Prince, walking into his room like he owned the place. “What do you want?” He asked, watching him walk into the center of his room and turn to Virgil. Virgil shut the door.

“What was all of that about?” Prince asked, giving Virgil an accusatory look. “Why did you have to interrupt Thomas’ video like that?”

“I’m Anxiety. It’s what I do.” Virgil shrugged. “I like making people anxious and I show up at the worst times.” He narrowed his grey eyes. “Now, can you leave?”

“No, I want you to stop doing that shit.” Prince growled. Virgil had to repress a flinch. God, it reminded him of... _ green _ . “You can’t just interrupt a video like that, especially one I was excited to help Thomas make.”

“Alright, I won’t do it, now get the hell out.” Virgil repeated. He really just wanted Prince the fuck out of his room. 

“No, I am not gonna leave so easily.” Prince said, stomping his foot. Virgil noticed something. His eyes were started to look a bit...sunken in, and he had small bags under his eyes. It wasn’t a very drastic change, but Virgil noticed it. “What makes you think you can do these things, exactly?”

Virgil was still staring at the bags under his eyes but shook his head to get his mind off of it. “I used to do it all the time, just not during videos when he introduced you guys a while back.” He shrugged. “Why is it such a big deal to you?”

“Well, now we might have to scrap the video idea!” He said. “And it was a good one, too! I-I--” He started fumbling for words but eventually screwed his eyes shut and just went for a growl. “God, why did you even come here?”

Virgil froze. “E-excuse me?” He asked. Prince opened his eyes, realizing what he had said. His eyes were no longer the vibrant royal (hah) purple, but were a dark and foggy shade of a plum like color. The bags under his eyes were growing, and he saw Prince sway slightly. Virgil narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t come here willingly!”

“I-I don’t-- I didn’t mean--”

“Listen, just get out of my room, okay?” Virgil said, his breathing shaking. “It’s fine that you don’t like me, I wouldn’t either, good for you, but you can’t just barge into my room like that and then start scolding me.”

“I didn’t--I just came in here t-to tell you not to, I-I don’t know where that all came from, I--”

“You said before that rooms had side effects, right?” Prince nodded quickly. “Well, maybe mine makes  _ you _ an asshole. Could you get out now?” He asked, pointing towards the door. Prince nodded again with the same vigor from before. Virgil could hear him swallow down his pride as he walked towards the door.

“I-I’m sorr--”

“I don’t wanna hear it right now, okay? I get it, just go.” Virgil said, his breathing shakier. God, he felt like he might be sick. He turned around to face his bed and heard the door creak as it closed behind Prince. He took a long and deep breath and then released it.

He felt like a dick for making Prince leave and doing it in such a rude way, but he didn’t care at the moment. He just wanted to be alone, he just wanted to forget all that, he just wanted to...sleep. Yeah, take a nap maybe. It was only midday, but did he really care? No. He could just wake up in the middle of the night and go out to the common room and get something to eat.

Wait a minute.

Sleep...   
Remy!

Remy was a figment of Thomas’ imagination he had a long time back, and when he appeared he came into Virgil’s room. Virgil and him quickly got along. The thing was that Remy wasn’t a side. He was just a character Thomas had made who occasionally appeared around the sides. He wondered if the sides he was with now had met him before.

He remembered that Remy had always disappeared when he walked into a closet. It was a weird thing, but it was just how it worked. He walked over to his closet and shut the door to it before knocking a few times.

“Remy?” He whispered.

He heard knocking on the other side of the closet, and when he opened it, there he was. He felt Remy crash into him and wrap his arms around him. Virgil laughed, falling back onto the ground with him on top of him, holding him close. They stayed on the ground laughing for a while before Virgil tapped him on the top of the head.

“Rem, you can let go of me.” He muttered, grinning like an idiot. Remy was his best friend when he had none. And Remy never liked the other sides, they were to dark and rude for him. Remy groaned and let go of him, pulling back, making it kind of look like he was pinning Virgil to the ground. 

“I am so happy to see you, you have no idea!” Remy exclaimed, his voice slightly high pitched because of the excitement. “It has been so long, Vee!” He said, moving so he was sitting on the ground against the bed. Virgil chuckled and sat up as well, turning to face Remy and crossing his legs.

“I missed you too.” Virgil sighed. “As you can see, we’re not with the sides I was with before.”

“Yeah, I was gonna ask about that, kid.” Remy said, pulling his sunglasses off and wiping them off on his striped shirt. He had dark bags under his eyes like Virgil had, and they usually joked about being twins because of it (not to mention similar style). “What happened?” He asked.

“They kicked me out.” Virgil shrugged. Remy paused and looked at him like he was crazy. “I’m serious, Rems, they legit kicked me out of their weird ass gang.”

“What the fuck?” Remy asked, putting his sunglasses back on. “That’s a thing they can do?” 

“Apparently.” He said. “You know that door in the common room? Leads to this place.” 

“Oh shit, the other sides!” Remy exclaimed. “Gir--Kid, they are a lot nicer than those dicks.”

Virgil chuckled. “Tell me about it. The worst thing to happen here literally just happened and I haven’t even been here that long.”

“What happened?”

“Got scolded.”

“That’s the worst?”

“I mean, they might do worse things in the future.” Virgil shivered slightly. “I still don’t know if I can trust them.”

“Hey, if anyone tries to hurt you.” Remy said, putting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. He grinned and pulled back. “They’re gonna catch these hands.” He cracked his knuckles. “Ow.”

Virgil laughed. “You are so weak.” He rolled his eyes and then put his hands together, cracking four of his knuckles at once. Remy gave a shocked and disgusted look that just made Virgil laugh again.

“Uh, gross.” He said, holding a closed fist up near his head in an almost sassy pose. Virgil loved Remy’s over flamboyant sass. “Hey, do you still have the ukulele?” Remy asked. Virgil nodded. “Can you play me something? It’s been so long since I’ve heard you play!”

“I only played for Dee, remember?” Virgil said.

“C’mon, kid, please?” Remy pleaded, tilting his head innocently.

Virgil sighed. “Fine!” He said, standing up and grabbed the ukulele off the side of his bed. “If I play ‘Sleep’ by MCR, will you kill me?   
“Yes, yes I will.”


	8. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I tried my best to avoid spoilers for the movie, but I'd recommend avoiding the last paragraph if you want to watch 'Would You Rather' because I kind of spoil the ending? Sorry about that, hah!

It was breakfast the next day. Virgil and Prince kept exchanging strange looks, mostly ones of sympathy from Prince and ones of blank stares from Virgil. They ate in mostly silence, Virgil biting at his sleeve occasionally when he wasn’t eating his waffles. He still didn’t trust the food here, but he’d eat them still to avoid suspicion. The sides still didn’t know much about what had happened with the other sides (except Patton, who knew he had been forced into something).

Patton suddenly gasped, making everyone look up to him. “Guys, it’s Saturday!” He exclaimed, his green eyes shining. Virgil gave confused looks to Logan and Prince, but they both smiled. Patton turned to Virgil. “Anxiety, you haven’t experienced movie nights yet, have you?”

Virgil was only slightly surprised these guys would have a movie night. They seemed to get along a lot, and Patton was like a father in the house, so it wasn’t shocking he would have movie nights. “No, I haven’t.” Virgil said.

“It’s really fun!” Prince assured, smiling. “We get to see new movies every week, it’s really nice.”

“Who’s gonna pick the movie this week?” Logan asked.

“I think Anxiety should pick it, considering it’s his first time having one with us!” Patton said.

“Alright.” Logan shrugged. “As long as it isn’t too bloody, it’ll be fine.”

“Ah, damn.” Virgil muttered, ignoring the warning look from Patton. “I was gonna suggest Cannibal Holocaust.” He joked. Prince scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“What’s Cannibal Holocaust?” Patton asked, a bit concerned about it considering the name. Virgil stifled a laugh but it made it seem like a snort, which made him cover his mouth. “What, what is it?”

“No.” Logan said, pointing at Virgil with a stern look on his face. Virgil grinned and opened his mouth to say something. “We are not watching a movie that was banned in 53 countries!” Logan exclaimed. Virgil groaned.

“Yes, sir.” He said sarcastically. He noticed the strange looks from all three of them and the sudden flush covering Logan’s face. “What?” He asked. Did he do something wrong? Oh god, what if he did?

“Uh, n-nothing, it’s nothing.” Logan stuttered with a small voice crack, waving his hand and shaking his head. Prince and Patton made eye contact but went back to staring down at their food. “Uhm, anyways, any other movie suggestions?” He asked.

“No, I need to know what that was about. Did I do something?” Virgil asked.

“Oh heavens no, you did nothing wrong, it’s just…” Patton paused for a moment, as if looking for the right words. “Logan has a strange reaction to to nickname.”

Virgil glanced around, noticing Prince trying not to laugh. He cocked an eyebrow but slowly nodded. “O-kay then…” He muttered, still very confused. “How about ‘Would You Rather’?” He suggested.

“What’s that about?” Patton asked.

“Well, it’s kind of bloody.” Virgil shrugged. “But it’s got a nice plot. Basically a girl joins a game of would you rather where you have to be the last one alive to get a reward.”

“That sounds interesting.” Logan said, brushing off what had just happened a few moments ago, though the blue on his face was still present. “How bloody would you say it is, though? Patton is somewhat afraid of blood.”

“It’s quite bloody.” Virgil said. “Though, I’m sure a bit of adrenaline isn’t a bad thing, right?”

“I guess not.” Logan agreed. “We can watch that if Patton would be okay with it.” He said looking over to Patton who smiled, nodded, and gave a thumbs up. “Alright then, we can watch it. You can always look away if you must.”

Virgil was looking forward to it, he really liked the movie. He just wasn’t sure that the others would like it, or maybe they would judge him over it. Whatever. He had been judged enough as it was.

 

“Hey, Anxiety!” A knock was on his door. “Can, uh, can I come in?” It was Prince.

“Remember the last time you were in my room?” Virgil asked, not looking up from his laptop. He heard a sigh and the door opened anyways. “What do you want?” He asked. It was pretty late, so Prince had no reason to be here.

“Well, first, we’re gonna start the movie.” He said, walking over to the bed and sitting on the end of it in front of Virgil’s computer. “And, uh, secondly. I want to apologize. For the things I said earlier. I think this room just...affects us all badly.”

“Yeah, probably.” Virgil shrugged, still staring at his computer. “I can understand why you said those things, though.” There was a pause, and Virgil started to hum something quietly. Prince was staring at him, an emotionless countenance.

“What do you mean?” He asked after a while. Virgil finally looked up from his laptop.

“Simple. I didn’t ask to come here, and you didn’t ask for me to be here.” He explained. “No problem with expressing that, really. I’m used to it.” He looked back down at his computer, humming the tune again as the strange lyrics played in his head.  _ ‘Pick a flower, ow! Pick a flower, ow! Bumblebees are out!’ _

“...You’re used to it?” Prince asked, seeming a bit concerned. Virgil froze up. 

Fuck. 

“I was gonna say that I didn’t mean to say those things, and I was just really...well, anxious during our talk, but you’re used to it?” He went on with. “How often have you been told that you didn’t belong?”

Virgil stayed silent.

“Anxiety?”

He mumbled something under his breath quietly. Prince was gonna ask something before there was a knock on the open door. Prince looked over with Virgil, and they saw Patton. “You guys ready?” He asked. Virgil and Prince nodded quite in sync. “Okay, come on down quickly before we start without you two!”   
“You guys would.” Prince joked, narrowing his eyes. Patton snickered and walked off. He looked back to Virgil, and looked down at the laptop as he closed it. “V?” He asked. “What does the ‘V’ mean?”

“Uh...my name?” Virgil mumbled, hand still on where he had closed it. Prince’s eyes widened and a smile played at the corners of his lips. “Please don’t make me tell--”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Prince said.

“I-I…” Virgil didn’t know what to say. “I can’t.” He settled for. Prince tilted his head with a confused expression. “I don’t like it. I hate telling people.” He admit.

“I won’t laugh.” Prince said, raising a hand in a ‘scout’s honor’ pose.

Virgil sighed. “No. I just can’t.” He didn’t want to explain that the last time he told people his name, almost everyone laughed, he just couldn’t.

“Okay, I’ll probably learn it another day.” Prince shrugged. “Come on, we don’t want to miss the movie, right?” He said standing up. He held a hand out for Virgil, which he hesitantly took. They both walked towards the door when Prince paused in the doorway. “Also.” He started, turning around to Virgil. “It’s Roman.” He smiled and kept walking.

They had all kept their distance from Virgil, all sitting separately on the couch, not really far from each other. Virgil was sitting in the corner of the couch, knees pressed against his chest. Patton was sitting on the floor in front of him. Prince---Roman. Roman was sitting on the opposite end, legs laid on the couch and on top of Logan’s legs, who was sitting in the middle of the couch, one arm crossed while he was finding the movie on Netflix.

“Hey, Anxiety?” Logan said after a moment. Virgil looked over to him, away from the TV. “It’s kind of warm in here, why are you still wearing that jacket?” Logan asked. Virgil bit his lip and shrugged, repeating the action when Logan looked over to him for a response. “You can take it off.”

Virgil grabbed at the jacket, pulling it over his chest. “ **No** .” He growled, his voice suddenly low and layered. He hated when it did that, but it did it often. Logan gave him a confused look and Roman looked somewhat surprised by the sudden change in tone. “ **I’m not gonna take it off.** ”

 

_ “Hey, Virgil.” He said. “Why do you always wear the jacket?” _

_ “I don’t know.” Virgil lied. He knew exactly why. The scars all across his arms were a dead giveaway.  _

_ “Take it off.” He said. No, he demanded. Now sitting up and staring at Virgil. _

_ “No…?” Virgil said, the uncertainty in his voice evident. _

_ “Yes.” They countered, getting closer to Virgil. Suddenly hands were on his grabbing at his jacket. They were on their knees on the couch, fairly close to Virgil. Too close. Virgil needed to react, and though it wasn’t the best choice, it was definitely his choice to reel his fist back and punch him square in the jaw. _

_ “Don’t fucking touch me!” Virgil yelled, forcing his hands off of his jacket. He felt like he was overreacting, but in the moment, he really didn’t care. He went to turn away and stand up, probably to run to his room, but was stopped when he was grabbed by the throat and pulled towards him. _

_ “If you ever do a stunt like that again, you’re fucking dead.” He growled in a low tone. Virgil pushed him off and started walking off. “No, get back here, asshole.” he called out. Virgil tried to ignore it, but couldn’t when the sleeve of his loose jacket was forcefully pulled. Virgil froze and turned back around, afraid. “Take the jacket off.” _

_ “I said ‘no’. What makes you think I changed my mind?” Virgil asked. He narrowed his eyes and yanked his sleeve, forcing the jacket off his his shoulder. Virgil pulled back as hard as he could, making his death grip release. “This is the fucking dumbest thing to argue about!” _

_ “Then you would take it off, especially if you don’t even know why you wear it.” He insisted. “Take it off before I force you too. Or before I get ▓▓▓▓▓▓.” Virgil froze up for a moment, just staring at him. “You know he’ll do something much worse here.” _

_ “You’re fucking sick.” Virgil retaliated. _

_ “So you’d prefer if I did?” He asked, giving a cocky grin. “I’ll call him down right now, if you doubt me that much.” _

_ “Fine! I’ll take the jacket off!” VIrgil said, trying to ignore the tears welling in his eyes. _

 

Virgil came back to reality and was surprised to find Logan nodding. “Alright, I won’t force you.” Roman looked back to the TV, and when Virgil looked down, Patton was giving him a soft smile.

These weren’t the same people. They were different, he knew that. He had experienced it a few times now, but...They had to be joking. When he first came into existence, the other sides were nice to him for a few days! This still had to be the grace period, it had to be. Maybe their grace period was shorter or longer or the same. Maybe Roman was warning him about the grace period when he barged into his room. Maybe Patton was putting on some sort of act. Maybe--

“Oh, now that is creepy.” Roman said. Virgil looked up and saw the cover of the movie on the screen. “Why is there a razor blade to his eye?” He asked.

Virgil laughed. “That’s a spoiler.” He figured that if they were gonna be nice to him, he should be nice to them, just to show he didn’t mean any trouble.

 

“That was a nice insight into the human mind, if I’m going to be honest.” Logan said as he was bringing the empty bowl of popcorn to the sink. “Oh, we need to do these dishes.” He whispered.

“It was pretty scary!” Patton exclaimed, following him into the kitchen. “Why did he have to die in the end, though?”

“Because he didn’t think she was coming back.” Virgil shrugged. “Plus, he’s sick. He doesn’t want to be a burden on her.” Hah, he could relate. He held that thought in his mind instead of out loud.

“That’s so sad.” Patton said. 

“Hey, Anxiety?” Logan asked. “Do you want to help with the dishes tonight, or should I force Roman into it?” 

Virgil paused for a moment, thinking. “Sure, I’ll do it. I need to talk with you about a few things anyways.” He needed the answers to the questions he had. He wanted them really badly.


	9. Trust

“So, when does this whole grace period end?” Virgil asked out of the blue while they were washing the dishes. Logan gave him a confused look. “Y’know, this grace period thing. Where you guys be nice to me for a while because I just joined.” Logan looked even more confused, stopping his movements to stare at Virgil. “You can stop pretending you don’t know.”

“I...I actually don’t know, Anxiety.” Logan said, raising his eyebrows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why do you think we’re being nice because you just joined us?”

“Because that’s what happened last time.” Virgil said, still cleaning off a plate. “It just seems right for you guys to do the same.”

“Anxiety, I assure you we are doing no such thing.” Logan said. Virgil stopped his cleaning and set the plate down into the soapy water, and looked over at Logan, a bit confused himself now. “We’ve never had newcomers, so why would we be rude to them?” He asked. Virgil bit his lip. He did have a point. “Plus, we have no reason to be rude to you. It’s illogical for us to be.”

“Yeah you do.” Virgil said. “I’m literally Anxiety. I’m the bad guy here, or at least one of them. I’m Thomas’ fears and insecurities. I’m pushing him away from his goals. I have sharp teeth and claws. Bad guy material here.” He rolled his eyes and went back to washing off another dish.

Logan stared at him for a long moment, not sure how to respond. “Well, all the other sides are pushing Thomas away from his goals. But you seem to be doing that the least from what I’ve seen.”

“Yeah? Because I sure do show up the most around him.” Virgil said.

“That’s because everyone has anxiety, Thomas’ is just heightened. So of course you show up more.” Logan explained, going back to washing another dish. “But the others are more subtle than that. Like Deceit--”

Virgil flinched.

“--Lies are always there. Thomas lies sometimes and he’s anxious often. Not saying he lies a lot, but he does lie on the occasion.” He said.

“Yeah.” He muttered, turning his focus back to the dishes. They mostly did it in silence, Logan sometimes saying something randomly. Virgil kept staring down into the water.

“I didn’t know you could sing.” Now, that caught Virgil’s attention. Virgil froze up again, and looked over to Logan, whose blue eyes were staring right back at him. He muttered a small ‘what?’ and Logan chuckled slightly. “I heard you singing a while back. Playing some strange song. What was it? ‘Confused and Rude’ or something. Looked up the lyrics and listened to it. It was nice, I’ll admit.”

“Oh. That.” Virgil said through grit teeth. “Uh, it was actually called ‘American Garbage’.” He nervously laughed at the title. “I-I didn’t think you would hear that. Sorry…”

“No need to apologize. You have a nice singing voice.” Logan smiled, looking back down to the dishes. “Kind of like Prince's, just a bit deeper.”

“I’ll, uh, try to not do that as often.” Virgil promised.

“What? Why?” Logan asked.

“Well…” Virgil trailed off, why did he think that? Yeah, the last times he had played were for someone else, but the other times he was always scolded for it and told to stop it ‘or else something something’. But these people were new, and maybe they were different like he had thought. “I guess I just assumed I was being annoying.”

“If it was annoying, I would’ve told you to stop.” Logan assured, putting a plate up with a clang when it touched another one. Virgil had to suppress another flinch, but this time, Logan noticed it. “What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” Virgil said, you know, like a liar. Logan obviously didn’t believe it, and repeated the question. “Just loud noises, I guess.” He shrugged. It wasn’t exactly the noise that bothered him, more of the memories that came with it. “They’re kind of a bad thing for me.”

“I can understand that.” Logan said. “Patton can’t really stand loud noises either.”

“Does he?” Virgil wanted to shift the focus from him and onto somebody else, and this was a good opportunity.

“Yes, it’s like a sensory thing for him.” Logan shrugged. “Hypersensitivity is my best guess.”

“What about, like...what’s it called?” Virgil tapped his nails against the ceramic plate he was washing. “Misophonia? Is that it?”

“Well, it’s only really loud noises. Plus, I don’t think as sides we can have any of those disorders without Thomas having them.” Logan explained. “It’s like when Thomas gets sick, either none of us or all of us get sick.”

“We’re more complex than just aspects of his personality.” Virgil said. “We’re not exactly people but we have our own thoughts and fears and experiences. Like, I’m technically nonbinary, but that doesn’t make Thomas nonbinary. I’m a fragment of his personality and gender isn’t a part of that fragment.”

“You’re quite smart.” Logan commented. Virgil laughed. “I’m being serious, you really are.”

“Yeah, right.” He rolled his eyes. “If I were smart, I would make more sense with my suggestions and comments about Thomas and things he does.” He paused for a moment. “Now that I think about it, you kind of go against me!” 

“Well, sometimes you can be a good influence on Thomas, keeping him from doing stupid things.” Logan started. “But, yes, I do sometimes work against you. But you are very intellectual. I might need to talk with you more often.”

“Uh, yeah, maybe.” Virgil muttered, looking over at how many dishes they had left to do. Not many left, that was good. 

“Anxiety?” Logan asked. Virgil looked back over and saw Logan smile at him. “I know you don’t exactly trust us, but listen to me when I say this: You can absolutely trust me.”

Trust. One syllable, five words, a meaning that Virgil had never experienced much. He only trusted two people before when he was with the other sides. He stood there, watching Logan calmly go back to washing the dishes, which he did as well, his movements more slow than before. Did he really think he could trust Logan? He did just tell him he was nonbinary, but that was something Virgil was open about, and had never really been made fun of for. Could he trust Logan? What if he was joking around like the others did? This was confusing.

Virgil finished up his portion on the dishes and mumbled a goodbye to Logan, walking off and towards his room.


	10. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it is nowhere near christmas, but I'm going in order of videos, so let's pretend it's the holidays for a moment, happy holidays, merry christmas, blessed yuletide, happy hanukkah, happy kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate, enjoy it when it comes!

Christmas was coming up. Holidays, oh, holidays. It had only been a few days after Virgil made his presence known on the internet, and he seemed to be getting a bit of feedback. Not all positive, of course, but what do you expect when you’re the figment of things people hate about themselves?

But since the holidays were coming up, that meant celebrations. Virgil didn’t really...dislike Christmas. It was more of an aversion to it. He had never really celebrated Christmas with the other sides, and the only time he really got gifts were just random acts of kindness. But these guys he was with now? Boy, they liked Christmas.

“Hey, Anxiety!” Patton greeted when Virgil came down the stairs on the morning of the 23rd. He looked around and noticed a small Christmas tree in the corner. “It’s almost Christmas!” He exclaimed excitedly. 

“I can tell.” Virgil shrugged, walking further down the stairs and going to the kitchen, noticing Logan cooking something. It smelled pretty nice. He almost tried to tell himself to not eat the food because of that fact, but he remembered what Logan had told him a few days back. Trust him, or at least try to.

He sighed and sat down at the table in his usual spot. He heard more footsteps and turned around to see Roman. He was being pretty silent and sat at his usual spot at the table, and Virgil grinned. He just loved to insult Roman and see how riled up he got. It felt kind of mean, but he experienced it and did it a few times before and it was all friendly gestures. “Oh, Roman! I almost didn’t recognize you with your mouth shut.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Black Veil Brides.” He muttered.

“I’m sorry, did you just call me a band name?” Virgil asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yes, yes I did.” Roman confirmed. “You are quite gothic, so I figured insulting you would be easy.”

This was a bit more entertaining than he originally thought. He thought Roman would leave it at ‘shut up’. Virgil tried not to laugh. “Alright then, Prince Charming.” He muttered.

“Why thank you for calling me charming, Andy Biersack.” Roman smirked slightly.

“Andy Biersack is fucking hot, so thank you.” Virgil said, putting a hand to his chest in a fake offended manner. “How dare you use him as an insult?”

“Language!” Patton yelled from the living room.  Roman nodded and gave Virgil a look as if to say ‘this isn’t over’ and Virgil returned the look.

“Patton, are you sure you aren’t hungry?” Logan asked, brining three plates to the table.

“Yeah, I’m not really hungry.” Patton shrugged. “Too much eating off schedule, I guess!”

“You can’t keep eating alone in your room, Patton.” Logan scolded. “At least sit at the table?”

“I do love eating alone, but sometimes you must make…” Patton grinned. “Scari-fries.”

“That was horrible.” Roman said. “Like, not at all your best. Nowhere close.”

“Never said it was gonna be a good one.” Patton shrugged, standing up from the couch and sitting down at the table in his usual spot.

“You never said you would make one at all.” Virgil said, the statement sounding more like a question. He rolled his eyes, scoffing a bit. “Whatever. So, you guys celebrate Christmas?” He asked, taking a bite of his food.

“Are you saying you didn’t?” Patton asked.

“Never have.” Virgil shrugged. He heard Patton and Roman gasp, and looked up to see concerned looked and confused looks. “What?”

“How have you never celebrated Christmas?” Roman asked, looking completely shocked at the idea of someone not celebrating a holiday. “I mean, Thomas celebrates it, how have you not?”

“Just never had a reason to.” He said. “It’s not like we liked each other enough to make gifts or anything.” He chuckled. “We didn’t even trust each other on normal days, how would we know that someone didn’t put some kind of bomb in a gift box?” Nobody laughed with him, which sure made things a bit awkward, and now they were all looking a tad concerned.

“Well then, let’s give you a good first Christmas, right?” Patton smiled, looking to the other sides. Roman and Logan nodded, smiling slightly. “You can trust us not to do those kind of things, kiddo!” He assured.

Virgil didn’t know if he trusted that but smiled and nodded anyways. “Yeah. I guess I trust that you won’t.”

“That’s quitter talk right there!” Patton said. “Trust us!”

Trust, that word kept coming up so often. How did he know he could trust them? God, he felt so conflicted all the damn time here. He felt that one second he trusted them and then the next he couldn’t stand being near them. Why was he like this? He ignored the thoughts, pushing them to the back of his...mind? Was that the word? Did he even have a mind? Okay, pushing those thoughts away as well, no need for an existential crisis right now.

“Okay, I will.” Virgil said. He wanted this subject out of the way. He took another few bites before talking again. “So, movie night is right before Christmas, huh?”

“You want to watch something specific?” Logan asked.

Virgil grinned. “Nightmare Before Christmas.”

“Of course.” Roman rolled his eyes. “You are the embodiment of Hot Topic, I swear.”

“And you think that’s a bad thing?” Virgil asked. “Hot Topic has some good shit.” He ignored the stern look from Patton when he swore. “Plus, it’s expensive, so I guess that makes me a treasure.”

“You’re not exciting enough to be treasure.” Roman said.

“Thanks, Sir Sings-A-Lot.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

“No problem, Sleeping With Sirens.” Roman grinned. “Speaking of bands, I recently found some new ones, thanks to needing insults like that one.”

“If you call me Nicole Dollanganger, I will cry.” Virgil said, pointing at Roman accusingly, or more of a ‘don’t you dare’ gesture. 

“Is she like your favorite singer or something?” Logan asked, tilting his head slightly. Virgil nodded. “I don’t think I’ve heard of her before.”

“She’s written a few popular songs like ‘Dog Teeth’ and ‘Ugly’, so I’m not sure if you’ve heard of her.” Virgil shrugged, taking another bite of his food. “Pretty messed up songs too.”

“I feel like if the songs are messed up, they fit you more.” Roman said. “I would’ve expected My Chemical Romance.”

“Of course. I’m a messed up guy who likes messed up music.” He tried his best not to say ‘fucked up’. “I’m sure your only music genre is ‘Disney’, eh, Princey?”

“Actually, only slightly.” He said, a grin spreading across his face. “I do enjoy a variety of music, Nicole Dollanganger.”

“I will fight you.”

 

It was during the movie on Christmas Eve that Patton had fallen asleep. Virgil wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t for the fact he had laid down right against his leg. “Uhm.” Virgil breathed when the initial contact had sunken in. Roman glanced over and chuckled before looking back to the movie. 

Virgil wanted to focus on the movie, but it’s so hard when you haven’t been touched in such an affectionate way for a long time and suddenly it’s there in your face and all the sensations feel so intense. He felt like he was aware of everything, his blinking, his breathing, his movements. He didn’t want to ask Patton to move, because that’s a dick move, isn’t it? He didn’t want to wake him. But if he didn’t get Patton off right now he was gonna have a breakdown and claw at his skin until the feeling went away. It had happened before when he was first brought in, and he never really lost the ritual of someone touching him when he didn’t want to be and then clawing at his skin until it came off.

He bit down on his lip, his sharp canines digging into his skin. He tapped Patton on the shoulder a few times. Patton slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times before sitting up. Virgil chuckled nervously, trying to find a way to discreetly scratch at his skin, or maybe excuse himself and wash off the feeling. He figured sitting cross legged and then scratching at the spot through a hole in his jeans would work.

“Sorry about that.” Patton muttered sleepily.

“No, you’re uh, you’re fine.” He whispered. He felt his hands shake. Fuck, he hated when this happened.

It wasn’t until after the movie was over that he decided maybe he should’ve told Patton. He stopped him while they were walking towards the stairs and pulled him off to the side. 

“Hey, Patton?” He said. “I’m sorry, but I should probably let you know something.”

“Oh sure, what’s up, kiddo?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

“It’s not your fault, I promise you that, but I just can’t stand being touched sometimes.” He tried explaining. “It’s just at random times, but it kind of happened during the movie.”

Patton raised his eyebrows. “Wait, when I fell asleep on your leg?” He asked, an expression of pure sorry on his face.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know, it’s just…” How do you explain that your brain has two settings and they’re ‘touch me and die’ or ‘touch-starved’? “I don’t know, sometimes I hate being touched. I don’t know why. I dealt with it a lot back there.”

Patton nodded. “Okay, if it ever happens again, be sure to let me know. I’m a bit of a touchy person.” He said. “Kiddo, if you ever need to talk or need something, just come to me, okay? I’ll do my best to help with my dad-like powers!” He gave Virgil a soft smile. 

“I will.” Virgil nodded.

“I’m usually in my room if you need me!” Patton said, starting to walk back to the stairs. “Let’s get some sleep so we can have a nice celebration tomorrow, okay?” Virgil nodded again, walking up the stairs behind Patton. Maybe he could trust Patton and Logan. Roman? ...Not yet.

 

A knock on his door woke him up. “Yeah?” He sleepily called out, sitting up in the bed. 

“Come downstairs when you’re ready! It’s Christmas!” That was unmistakably Patton, what, with the childish excitement? He’d only been here for a few weeks now, and he already knew a lot about the others. He chuckled slightly and called a confirmation, pulling his covers off.  He pause for a moment, wondering how he had managed to fall asleep in skinny jeans, but that was the least of his worries. The most of his worries was that it was Christmas, and that meant he was gonna get some kind of gift.

Wait.

Fuck.

He didn’t have any gifts for the others.

He sighed and realized he just needed to face the music. He looked around his room again, noticing things starting to get darker and a bit creepier, just the way he liked it. It was probably just because of him being there alone. Either way, he liked the cobwebs growing around the room. He shook his head and went for the door, but quickly paused. First, his jacket. He grabbed the black jacket from on the floor beside his bed. Done. Secondly, did he really want to go down there without even one gift for them? It seemed like the only option at this point. He opened the door back up and walked out.

He quickly made his way down the stairs, really wanting to slide down the railing like in the movies, but that would be difficult...and cheesy. He saw that two of them were waiting for him on the couch, the tree next to it. Patton smiled and waved his hand above his head. “Anxiety!” He exclaimed. “We were about to start without you!”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Virgil shrugged, sitting down next to Patton, who leaned in slightly and whispered.

“Good or bad touch day?” He asked. 

“Good.” Virgil answered, smiling slightly. Patton nodded and leant back, and started to ramble on about how he was really excited.

“Calm down. Pat, we just need to wait for Logan.” Roman reassured.

“I know, but I’m just excited!” Patton said, his hands moving rapidly, fingers almost dancing as they tapped against his legs. “Anxiety, are you excited?”

“Not as excited as you.” He chuckled. “I feel bad for not making you guys anything.”

“Don’t worry about it! We all pitched in to get you a gift, though!” Patton said. Oh, they all got him a gift but he didn’t get them any. God, he felt bad. “I really hope you like it!”

“I’m sure I will.” Virgil smiled nervously.

“How did you manage to fall asleep in jeans? Who are you?” Roman asked, giving him a half horrified and half confused look.

“I’m Satan.” He said, his voice lacking any sarcasm at all. He saw Roman’s expression change to mostly horrified, and he couldn’t hold back his laughs. “Jesus, you are so easy to mess with.”

“Rude.” Roman rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning back into the crease of the couch. “You tried to wake Logan, right Patton?”

“Yes, but I can check again.” Patton suggested. Before Roman could say anything, Patton stood up and walked back up the stairs, skipping a few of the steps. Roman gave Virgil a look and raised his eyebrows for a moment before looking down to the coffee table in front of him.

“So, you’ve never had a real Christmas before?” Roman asked, picking at his red nail polish, not looking up at Virgil.

“Nope.” Virgil said, staring up at the ceiling. “Last gift I got for Christmas was...last year when they locked me in a closet for the entire day, claiming it was a gift.” He sighed. “‘Course, one of them was absolutely opposed to it, but the others didn’t listen.”

“Jesus Christ.” Roman muttered, glancing over at Virgil. “So, none of your presents have been good?”

“Well, the one who was opposed often got me gifts.” He shrugged. “Not always for Christmas, sometimes just for the hell of it.”

“Who was this one?” Roman asked. Virgil bit his lip and didn’t respond. They heard walking down the stairs and saw Patton dragging a laughing Logan behind him. Roman looked over and laughed as well. “Don’t rip his arm off, buddy.”

“Oh, come on!” Patton chuckled. “Anyways, since we’re all here, we can give each other the presents now!”

“But...I didn’t have time to get anything.” Virgil said, feeling really bad now.

“You didn’t have to, so don’t worry about it.” Logan reassured. “We didn’t really expect you to be able to access these gifts anyways.”

“Well, I still feel kind of bad.” He muttered. Trying to be honest with these guys seemed to be going well, maybe he should try to cut back on the lying. Hell, it had almost been...what, two weeks? He wasn’t sure, but he was still gonna try to trust that they were different. Even if trying to do that was like finding the hay in a needlestack.

Wait, did he say that wrong?

“Don’t feel bad, we really don’t mind, kiddo!” Patton smiled. Virgil nodded, giving a slight smile, looking back down to the ground. He heard a bit of shuffling and when he looked up, he saw Patton holding out a box to him. “We didn’t exactly know what you’d really like, but he had a few ideas.”

“You guys also didn’t have to get me anything.” Virgil said. “Making things is pretty difficult, isn't it? Like, depending on the item?”

“Well, this one was a bit difficult, but we managed. Sorry if any of it is a bet messed up.” Roman said. “Think you’ll like it, though.” Virgil paused for a moment, noticing all eyes on him again. He nodded and opened the box.

He paused for a moment. “You did fucking not.” He muttered, laughing slightly. He pulled out of the box a vinyl record. ‘Natural Born Losers.’ “Do you know how difficult it is to make vinyl records here?” He asked, looking up at them.

“I literally just said that.” Roman chuckled.

“Do you like it?” Patton asked, looking slightly nervous but mostly excited.

“Of course I do.” Virgil assured. “I was not expecting this, man.”

“Glad you like it.” Logan smiled.


	11. Resolutions

 

Virgil wasn’t planning to show up. But when the cacophony of the sides arguing about what was best for Thomas’ resolutions started making Thomas more and more anxious, he just had to show up. He had promised Roman that he wouldn’t show up, but some things are made to be broken. Roman shot him a nasty look when he appeared, but he didn’t care much for it. He just wanted to prove his point and leave the video.

That turned out harder than he had thought. 

Everyone was against him on his view, and they had all been a bit rude about it. Did Virgil mind? Quite a bit, yes. He was used to people siding against him, but he didn’t expect it to be on this topic. Everyone knew that all resolutions are just stupid and don’t end up working out.

It had been not too long after the Christmas Celebration, and it wasn’t that Virgil wasn’t still happy from it, he was just...tired. Of course, he had absolutely kept the gift, and absolutely listened to it when he could.

Virgil rolled his eyes and growled as he sunk out, listening to the others laughing about it. Yes, he was the bad guy here.

He was the first one in the common room, not exactly sure what to do. He rolled his eyes and hopped onto the kitchen counter, one knee pressed to his chest and the other hanging down, and he pulled his phone out, scrolling through Tumblr. He looked up and saw a confused Roman sinking back in.

“Well then.” He muttered. He looked up at Virgil and gave him a bit of a more confused look. “Why are you on the counter?” He asked. Virgil shrugged, still scrolling. “Well, you should get off before Patton or Logan yell at you. You don’t want that.”

Virgil paused for a moment, looking up at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not scared of them.” He said.

“Oh, so you haven’t been yelled at by them yet?” Roman said, crossing his arms. “Get down before they come back.”

“You’re not my mom. I’m literally just sitting on the counter, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Virgil reasoned, staring back down at his phone. “I just sit on things that aren’t chairs sometimes. Habit of mine.”

“It’s gross. You have your feet on it, too.” Roman scoffed. “Just get down before I push you off.” He threatened. Virgil stuck his tongue out for a moment, before shifting his sitting and hopping down. “Good.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes, walking past Roman and over to the couch and laying across it. “So, I’m the bad guy in this group, huh?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“We just had a disagreement.” Roman said.

“You guys seemed real happy to get rid of me.” He muttered.

“Falsehood.” Another voice said, and when Virgil looked over, there was Logan standing beside Roman with Patton. “It’s just acting for the video, Anxiety.”

“Yeah, well, you could’ve told me that before the video so I understood that.” Virgil said, clicking his tongue. “Just warm me about being the bad guy in the video next time, got it?”

“You’re always the bad guy.” Roman muttered under his breath, and Virgil shot him a glare. “I’m just saying. You--”

“Yeah, I get it.” Virgil said, sitting up and then standing up. “I’m gonna go back to my room. Don’t die while I’m gone.” He said, walking past the three. “Call me down if you need me, usual things.”  He didn’t hear any protests as he was walking up and sighed when he finally made it to his room. He laid down onto the bed, pulling his phone back out. He sat up and reached on to his nightstand, grabbing and plugging in his headphones. Maybe some music would distract him.

“You’re so good at explaining things, Roman.” Logan lied, rolling his eyes. “And being nice, apparently.”

“I was just saying!” Roman exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “I wasn’t trying to be rude!”

“Didn’t seem like that.” Logan muttered. He shook his head and looked over towards the staircase. “You two really need to get along. Anxiety barely trusts us, I’m not sure how he feels about you.”

“He jokes around a lot with me, and he did admit something to me, so it’s not like he hates me.” Roman said. “I just don’t think he exactly likes me.” He shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“I’m sure you two will get along at some point!” Patton reassured, wrapping an arm around Roman. “So, you guys wanna say your resolutions?” He asked, pulling Roman with him to sit on the couch, arm still around him. Logan sighed and joined them, sitting next to Roman, who pulled him closer which made him rest his head on Roman’s shoulder.

“Well, we know Thomas needs to learn to cook, and we can help teach him since we know how to cook a few things.” Logan said. 

“Yeah, but I think Patton’s talking about  _ our _ resolutions.” Roman said. “Like, in terms of us sides.”

“Oh, of course.” Logan nodded. “Well, there are a few books I’ve been wanting to read and I still have a bunch of unfinished things. So, those might be my top priorities for the new year.”

“I have a couple unfinished projects as well.” Roman said. “Plus, I’m still working on that Mind Palace I was talking about a while back.”

“Oh, the Mind Palace!” Patton exclaimed. “I still really want to see it when you’re done!”

“Well, you were part of the idea, of course I’m gonna show it to you.” Roman chuckled. 

“My resolution is probably to get to know people better and play a more active role with Thomas.” Patton said, looking up at the ceiling. “I know I’m the center of his emotion, so maybe try to be less...emotional? If that makes any sense.”

“Like, keep your emotions less extreme?” Roman asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Patton shrugged. “Though, that might be difficult.”

“You do experience all the emotions Thomas does, just a bit...stronger.” Logan explained. “If you were to have less of the emotions, it would mean Thomas is having less of the emotions. So, there’s no shame in having these heightened feelings, Pat.”

“I know, I just feel like it gets a bit annoying for you guys sometimes.” Patton said. His words sounded a bit forced, but he was still smiling despite it. “I’m either really happy of really sad, and then you guys need to deal with it.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing, Patton.” Roman assured. “We aren’t annoyed by it at all. It’s just your way with these things. No shame in it.”

“I know, I just always feel bad about it, even if I have no real reason to.” He sighed. “The joys of being a side, am I right?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “I guess so.”


	12. Nightmares

 

Virgil was used to waking up in the middle of the night alone, he had been doing it for over a year now and did it when he first came into existence. He was also used to waking up afraid out of his damn mind. But this time it felt different. It was different. Usually when he work up from a nightmare, he would quickly calm down and get on his laptop until the others woke up. But now, he wasn’t calming down, he couldn’t calm down. He sat there against his headboard, his knees pressed to his chest and looking around the room rapidly for any signs of some kind of demon or something.

He knew it was stupid, he should just breathe and get back to his usual routine for these nights, but something was off. Maybe it was the fact the room was now set up a bit differently, making everything seem so much stranger to him. More dangerous. He wanted to get out of there, but he was still frozen in fear, his grey eyes staring at the end of the bed, expecting anything to come out and hurt him somehow.

He tried to steady his breathing, but it only helped mildly. He could get up and move, but pacing wasn’t gonna help, he had tried that in the past. He could maybe go downstairs and get something to eat or grab a book maybe? No, that was a stupid idea. He could...go to another side? Would he really do that? What if he woke them up and annoyed them? What if he got yelled at and told he was being a dick? 

Then he remembered what Patton had said. If he needed something or wanted to talk, go to him. He knew which room was his, so maybe he could go there for a bit to calm down? He took a deep breath and stood up and quickly realized he was wearing short sleeves. Great. He went over to his closet, slowly opening the door and grabbing one of his hoodies, throwing it on and realizing how cold it was. He ignored that and just wrapped his arms around his chest, walking towards the door and walking out, feeling immensely better once he was out.

He noticed which room was Patton’s easily, seeing some kind of childish craft of a wooden ‘P’ on the door. He slowly walked over and gently knocked on the door. He regret it almost instantly, what if he was just waking Patton over such a dumb reason? He almost turned back, but the door opened, and Patton was giving him a confused look. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping, though it could be that he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

“Something wrong, kiddo?” He asked, tilting his head.

Virgil sucked in a breath through his teeth. “I’m sorry f-for waking you...I-I had a nightmare.” He muttered, his eyes staring down at the ground. “I c-can’t calm down enough t-to sleep.” He glanced up and saw the concerned look on Patton’s face. Did he do this wrong, oh god, he was being an asshole, wasn’t he? “I’m sorry, it-it’s stupid, I’ll go--”

“It’s not stupid, don’t worry!” Patton said. “Do you wanna come in?” He asked, opening the door a bit more and stepping out of the way. Virgil nodded and stepped into the room, which was quite warm. “It’s a bit messy, sorry.”

“I’ve seen worse.” Virgil said, looking around. It was nice in here. Old photos, drawing, and things of the like. Patton sure liked his nostalgia, eh? 

“Do you wanna stay in here and talk about it, or do you wanna just sit for a while?” Patton asked. Virgil shrugged. “Well, we can both sit down for a bit, and if you want to talk, feel free. No judgement here.” Virgil smiled and nodded, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it, crossing his legs. Patton joined in, sitting next to him, simply staring down at his hands, which were fidgeting a bit.

It was calming, actually. Virgil felt his breathing slow and his mind and heart stop their racing. It was nice to have a place if he ever had another experience like this again. They stayed like that in silence for a while, a long while, until Virgil broke the silence.

“I should probably head back, it’s only…” He looked over to the clock. “2AM, so I can still sleep.”

“You can stay in here, if you want!” Patton smiled.

“I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already have.” Virgil said. “Plus, I don’t think sleeping on the floor would be comfortable.”

“Never said you had to sleep on the floor.” He pointed out. “You can sleep in the bed with me, if you want to.” He suggested. Virgil didn't exactly know how to react to that. The last time he remembered sleeping next to someone, it was used as blackmail and he and the side hadn’t done it after that. He shrugged. “No pressure, you can if you want to, though.”

“I mean, it might be nice.” Virgil muttered. He felt his face start to heat up slightly, this felt awkward. Though, Patton sure didn’t seem to want to make it awkward.

“Alright, is it a good touch or bad touch time right now?” Patton asked.

“I’m fine with touching now.” He said. “In fact, that would probably be pretty good right now.”

Patton chuckled. “Alright.” He nodded, moving so he was lying against the headboard. Virgil followed suit and did the same, sitting right next to Patton, who wrapped an arm around him. Virgil leaned into the touch, resting his head on Patton’s shoulder. It had been such a long time since he had done something like this, which was weird considering it was such an innocent act. Though, he didn’t really have anyone to do it with after a while. “Do you wanna talk about the nightmare?”

“Not right now.” Virgil breathed. “It might make it harder to sleep.”

Patton nodded, pulling the yellow blankets over the two of them. “That’s reasonable.” 

Virgil made a humming noise and closed his eyes, letting his head rest on his shoulder limply. He curled his hands into fists just in case he needed to do something. He had become a light sleeper after the things the others did while he was asleep. He learned to wake up at small noises so he could attack and defend himself if he needed to. Sleeping here would be difficult, considering it wasn’t his room, but the warmth radiating from Patton might make it easier.

“Patton?” Roman called out, knocking on his door gently. Patton was a light sleeper, so it should wake him easily. He didn’t get a response, and after a while, he just twisted the doorknob and walked in. He quickly realized that Patton had a guest in his room, curled up against him. Roman had a confused look before smiling. 

“He’s sleeping.” Patton said. He froze when Virgil shifted slightly in his sleep, making a small groaning noise in his throat. Patton slowly raised a finger up to his lips, telling Roman to be quiet. Roman nodded.

“Breakfast in a bit.” He whispered, hoping Patton would hear him in the silence, and Patton nodded. “Wake him if you can.”

And with that, Roman had left the room. Patton looked back down to Virgil, who looked really blissful and calm. He almost didn’t want to wake him. But when he shifted his arm, Virgil’s grey eyes opened quickly and his hands curled into fists, grabbing onto Patton’s shirt. He glanced around the room for a moment before looking up at him.

“O-Oh, hey.” He muttered, pulling his hands back and sitting up straight. “Sorry about, uh, waking you up last night.” Patton noticed his face flushing a dull purple.

“You didn’t wake me, I probably wasn’t gonna sleep last night either way.” Patton shrugged. “I’m happy to help if you ever need me for something like this again.”

“Maybe I will.” Virgil sighed. “I’ve had a lot of nightmares before, I just usually calmed down quickly Don’t know what’s different now.” He shrugged. “We should, uh, get up.” He said, pushing the blankets off of him, and moving off the bed, which Patton did as well.

“Your sweater is nice.” Patton said, chuckling. Virgil cocked and eyebrow and remembered his hoodie, in fact, called him an existential nightmare. He laughed silently as well. Maybe he could get used to this kind of thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect some roman and virgil stuff next chapter, as it will be focused on both of the disney videos!


	13. Disney

“Did someone say atrocious?” 

Virgil and Roman both sunk out, insisting that they didn’t like each other whatsoever. They made it back to the common room, and saw Logan and Patton sitting at the dinner table, Patton looking over Logan’s shoulder to read the book he was reading. Virgil ignored them and turned to Roman. 

“So, that was an interesting debate.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m surprised you actually like Disney.” Roman remarked, making Virgil snort silently and roll his eyes. “I mean, you just seem like the person to hate that kind of thing.”

“I’m a part of Thomas, technically all of us are Disney fans in some way.” Virgil said. “But, I will admit, I do prefer the darker ones with the creepier stories.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Roman muttered, scratching the back of his neck. 

“I’m guessing when you pick on your movie nights, you choose literally any Disney movie?” Virgil asked, grinning.

“Was it that obvious?” Roman asked, rolling his eyes and gesturing to his outfit, striking a quite feminine pose, that made Virgil laugh. Roman laughed as well, regaining his usual stance. He looked over Virgil’s shoulders to Patton and Logan, who were watching them with knowing smiles. “What?” Roman asked. Virgil turned around and saw the two smiling and going back to looking at Logan’s book, Logan shaking his head somewhat.

“What’cha reading?” Virgil asked, walking over and hopping to sit up on the table, crossing his legs.

“Get off the table.” Logan said, barely glancing up from the book. “And I’m reading Nineteen Eighty-Four.”

“That one dystopian novel you were talking about?” Roman asked, walking over as well, standing behind Logan, who nodded. “That’s cool.” He shrugged, look back up to Virgil. “Okay, why do you insist on sitting on tables?” Virgil shrugged. “Just get off the table.”

Virgil groaned. “Ugh, fine, dad.” He rolled his eyes and slid himself off, standing next to Roman behind Logan. He quickly realized how short he was compared to the other, almost a foot shorter than him.

“Can you all...not crowd around me?” Logan asked, closing the book, his place held with his thumb. Everyone glanced to each other before shrugging collectively, and Roman walking away. Patton leaned back in his seat so he was in the original spot he should have been. Virgil shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking to go upstairs.

He heard small whispering behind him, and when he turned around, he saw Patton next to Roman, talking to him, probably more lecturing him in a hushed tone. He saw their expressions change, Roman looking more nervous and Patton looking a bit excited. He even held his hands in fists and put them up to his chin, shaking them slightly. Virgil rolled his eyes and went up the stairs, before hearing footsteps walking towards him and a noise of protest from Roman.

Patton stopped him and smiled up at him from where he was at the bottom of the staircase. “Roman thinks you’re hot.” He said, calmly walking away and back to the kitchen table as if nothing had happened.

Virgil looked up to Roman, who was staring down at his feet, his face flushed. He glanced up, making eye contact with him. Virgil smirked and gave him a wink before going back to his room.

 

“Why did you do that?!” Roman asked in a high pitched voice, words so fast it felt like one word as he was walking over to Patton. Patton grinned at him, his chin resting on a hand propped up by his elbow on the table.

“Well, you weren’t gonna be the one to do it.” Patton shrugged, looking back over to Logan’s book. 

“I actually hate you so much right now.” Roman complained, gritting his teeth, his face still heated up.

“You love me.” Patton insisted, giving Roman the innocent look. He had to resist forgiving Patton right then and there because of that look. Oh, how Patton used it for evil.

“Right now, I love Logan more.” Roman muttered, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

“Aw, thank you.” Logan said, looking up from his book, smiling innocently as well. “So, do you really think Anxiety is attractive?” He asked, putting his book face down on the table so he didn’t lose the page.

Roman huffed. “No.” He said. Logan gave him another look he was good at utilizing for evil. The ‘tell me the truth’ look. Roman’s worst enemy. “Okay, so maybe I do.” He held up his hands in a defensive manner. “But he doesn’t like me, anyways. He seems like he’s nice once you know him well enough, but I  _ don’t _ know him well enough.”

“Then you need to start talking with him more!” Patton suggested. Roman made an ‘ugh’ noise and Patton narrowed his eyes. “Come on, communication is important.”

“It’s what landed you in this relationship with us two, anyways.” Logan pointed out.

“I know, I know.” He sighed. “It’s just hard. The guy has trust issues and has been through some things from what I’ve heard.”

“Doesn’t mean he isn’t willing to talk with you.” Patton said. “Maybe it would be easier if we were there as well?” He asked. Roman gave him a confused look. “Like, start with talking to him in the common room, or something. Just a suggestion!”

“Yeah.” Roman mumbled. “Maybe.”

 

About a few weeks later, they had finished the next video, also about Disney, but for a different subject. This time, Thomas was involved in a Disney show, not just him liking Disney. The others sunk out, all of them giving strange suggestions, and Roman was quite surprised to hear Virgil give him a good idea.

Back in the common room, Roman noticed Virgil looking somewhat annoyed. “Something wrong, Twenty One Pilots?” He looked around, and noticed Patton and Logan missing.

Virgil smiled slightly at the nickname. “Nah, I’m good.” He shrugged. “Also, how many of those nicknames do you have?”

“A lot.” Roman said. “Surprised you haven’t found any nicknames for me yet.”

“I do, just no real opportunities for them.” Virgil said. Roman tilted his head slightly, but Virgil just walked over to the kitchen. He opened one of the cabinets, sifting through it. “So, how do your guys’ discussions after videos go?” He asked. “Logan told me you guys have strange conversations after them.”

Roman shrugged.”It’s usually just random things, or talking about the next video.” Roman paused for a moment. “I think the next video might be about Logan and Patton, though.”

“What makes you say that?” Virgil asked, pulling a granola bar out of the cabinet.

“They’ve been arguing a bit lately.” Roman said, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. “Talking about what’ best for Thomas and things of the like.”

“Yeah, I can see how the brain and the heart would argue a lot.” Virgil nodded, taking a bite out of the bar. “How often would you say the arguments are?”

“Eh, almost one every week, more or less.” He waved his hand slightly. He noticed the hesitant look on Virgil’s face.

“...Do they get intense?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope, usually just small altercations.” Roman assured. “Trust me, Patton probably never gets intense during arguments unless it’s very important.”

Virgil nodded. “I should head back to my room.”

“Why don’t you ever stay down here with us?” Roman asked. He heard a few noises and turned around, seeing Patton and Logan. He looked back and Virgil shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing to be down here with us, though it can get boring on occasions.”

“I don’t know, I just like my room.” He said, walking towards the stairs, still holding the granola bar. “I’ll see you guys later, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so maybe the next chapter is gonna involve anxiety and roman too. listen, im still a sucker for prinxiety even if it is probably the cliche ship in the fandom. let me live


	14. Empire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get it....the roman empire? this chapter is focused on some interactions between roman and virgil?? get it??? ill go home

 

Patton and Logan had been called up for a video, leaving Roman and Virgil by themselves. It was just after breakfast when Roman suggested something. 

“You’ve never seen my room before, have you?” He asked, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Virgil. He glanced up from his phone and slowly shook his head. “Would you like to?” Virgil paused for a moment, looking around the room as if looking for an answer before he nodded.

“Yeah, why not.” He said, standing up with Roman. “It’s the one next to mine, right?” He asked, putting his phone in his pocket and stretching his arms.

“Yep.” Roman nodded, holding his hand out for Virgil, who was hesitant, glancing between the hand and Roman, but took it and let Roman lead him up the stairs and to his room. 

His room wasn’t exactly the opposite of expected, but it wasn’t exactly what he had predicted. Though, it really fit with how extra Roman was, he could admit that. He noticed a lot of how the room was, especially how organized it was.

“Wow, you sure keep things clean, eh?” Virgil pointed out.

Roman shrugged, shutting the door behind them. “I guess I do. Just how things work out with my stuff.” He walked over to the bed, sitting against the headboard. Virgil walked over after a moment of looking around and sat down next to him.

“So, any particular reason you wanted me here?” Virgil asked, resting his arms behind his head.

“Dunno, just felt like we should hang out since Lo and Patton aren’t here.” Roman said. “Didn’t you say you had a video to show me?” He asked, sitting up instead of leaning back.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Virgil exclaimed silently, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Don’t read the title, it makes everything better.” He assured, typing something into the YouTube search bar.

“Wait, all you said was that it’s a magic trick, what’s the magic trick?” Roman asked, trying to look over Virgil’s shoulder, only making him move his phone so he couldn’t see what he clicked on.

“Uh, a card trick of sorts.” Virgil said, grinning as he positioned the phone so both of them could watch.

Only two minutes into the video and Roman started freaking out.

“Do not tell me he is about to do what I think he is.” He watched for a few more seconds. “Oh my fucking god, please no.” A hand flew up to cover his mouth. “Is he sewing his mouth shut?!” He asked in a hushed tone, making Virgil cackle. “How can you laugh at this, oh my god!”

“It’s funny!” Virgil said.

“No it’s not!” Roman half-screeched. “Oh my god, you are sick!”

“Hell fucking yeah, I am!” Virgil said, proudly, trying to hold his laughter back somewhat. “I can show you the ice pick trick after this.”

“I don’t think I want to see it!” Roman said, glancing back to he video. “Oh my god!”

“Come on, the video isn’t even finished.” Roman shook his head wildly. “Don’t be a pussy!”

“Fuck you!” He yelled, making Virgil laugh more. “I’m gonna go vomit!”

“No, there’s still more to the trick!” 

“I don’t wanna see the rest of the trick!”

“Come on, you wanna see how the card trick part comes in!”

“I really don’t!”

Virgil showed it to him anyways.

“That is not my cup of tea, Anxiety! Not my cup of tea!” He shouted, breathing so heavily when Virgil paused the video, and just turned to look at him, the everpresent grin on his face. “I am legit crying, these are real tears.” He gave a long sigh, laughing nervously. “What the fuck, man.”

“This is the same man who shot himself in the face for a magic trick.” Virgil explained, turning his phone off and putting it into his pocket. “He also eats glass and spits frogs. He also encased himself in multiple things for days on end, and held his breath for 17 minutes.”

“Why?!” Roman asked, a hand over his heart, which felt like it was beating extremely fast.

“Because it’s fun to him!” He said. “It’s also funny to watch.”

“No it is not!” Roman insisted. “God, you get some kind of sick enjoyment from this.”

“It’s not a fetish, if that’s what you’re implying.” Virgil chuckled at the still shocked look on Roman’s face. “You seem so threatened.” He pointed out. Roman moved his mouth as if he was searching for some kind of words before making a noise in the back of his throat, making Virgil laugh again.

“Yeah, I’m threatened!” Roman said, running a hand through his hair. He let out a shaky breath. “Holy shit, where did you even find this?”

“I like David Blaine.” Virgil shrugged.

“How are you so casual about this?” Roman asked. Virgil shrugged again. “Oh my god, can we, like, change the subject completely?”

Virgil laughed. “Sure. No ice pick trick?”

“Absolutely no ice pick trick.” Roman insisted, sitting back up and leaning against the headboard. Virgil made a sarcastic noise of disappointment that made Roman scoff. “Just bring up some memes or something.”

 

“You know, you aren’t half bad, Vee.” Roman muttered halfway through one of the other videos they were watching. He had his head resting on Virgil’s shoulder, staring at the phone he was holding up that was playing some vine compilation.

Virgil chuckled. “Yeah. Right.”

“I’m serious, Anxiety.” Roman insisted. “You seem really nice.”

“I’m hardly nice.” He muttered.

“I don’t think so.” Roman said. “I think you’re cool. Maybe a bit rude sometimes, but you’re pretty awesome.”

Virgil paused the video and looked over at Roman, who lifted his head off his shoulder. “You’re not just saying that, right?” He asked, looking a bit sceptical.

“I promise.” Roman nodded. 

There was a long moment of silence with the two just looking at each other before Roman smiled at him, that made Virgil smile a bit too. His eyes glanced down to Virgil’s lips before looking back to his eyes. Virgil made a small noise that sounded like a stifled laugh.

“Is this allowed?” He asked in a nasally voice.

“Oh my f--god!” Roman snorted. Virgil broke down into giggles, and Roman just sighed and shook his head in disappointment. “I can’t believe you.”

“Good.” Virgil said. He sighed and looked back to his phone, checking the time. “We should probably get to sleep soon.”

“Do you want to stay in here or sleep in your room?” Roman asked, quickly realizing how strange that sounded. No going back now, though.

Virgil shrugged. “I can stay in here, if you want.”

“I won’t force you.” Roman assured.

Virgil paused for a moment. “I’ll stay.”

Roman smiled and nodded. 

Virgil didn’t have much trouble falling asleep that night like other nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who want to watch the video of the guy sewing his mouth shut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82QbMrg2HoI&t=158s  
> LETS IGNORE I WAS UPLOADED RECENTLY OKAY? I WANTED TO INCLUDE IT LET ME LIVE


	15. Scales

Virgil hated this time of year, the beginning of February, quite a while from when he had first arrived here, and here he was, in a world of discomfort.

Fuck scales, fuck shedding.

He sighed as he knocked on the closet door again after breakfast. “Remy?” He called out silently through grit teeth. The door quickly had knocking on the other side and Virgil opened it, Remy stepping out. 

“Wassup, kid?” Remy asked, holding a Starbucks cup. Of course. “Wait a minute, it’s that time of year again, isn’t it?” He pulled his sunglasses off and hung them off his shirt.

“Yep.” Virgil nodded. “Not exactly gonna go to the others with this problem. They don’t even know about the scales.”

He was right, at least he thought he was. Every side he had been with in the past had scales of some sort, and these guys didn’t seem to have any. Sometimes they were on the hands, making them have almost dragon-like hands. Sometimes they were in other places, or just covering half their entire fucking body which had to be an absolute pain. Luckily, Virgil only had them on his back.

“Alright, well, this is gonna be as fun as always, I assume?” Remy said, downing the rest of his drink.

“Worst part is, since the others don’t know about the scales, we have to be careful.” Virgil said. “Because back there, everyone knew about the scales. Now, we can’t exactly be very loud about this.”

“Damn.” Remy muttered, setting his cup of coffee on the dresser. “Can I have a hug before we do this? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Virgil rolled his eyes though he was smiling and wrapped his arms around Remy, which was easily realized to be a mistake as Remy instantly did the same but then picked Virgil up. “I will fight you!” Virgil shouted the empty threat. Why was he strong like that? Why must he use these powers for evil? Remy was giggling the entire time he did it and finally put Virgil back down after a good twenty seconds. “I hate you.” Virgil muttered.

“I’m sure you do, buddy.” Remy rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder, pulling him with him out the door.  “Let’s help you out. And hope that the other sides don’t question us.”

Luckily, they didn’t run into any of the others, and made it fairly quickly. A sink full of water and a couple rags later, Remy sighed and turned to Virgil. 

“You’re gonna have to take your shirt off for this.” He said, raising an eyebrow, brown eyes looking down to his arms. Virgil gave an exaggerated sigh. “Oh come on, I’ve seen you naked before.”

“I was in the shower that time, and you really shouldn’t have barged in like that.” Virgil said, pulling his jacket off and tossing it into the corner of the room. “Also, don’t pull back the shower curtain when asking someone a question as they’re taking a shower.”

“It was important!”

“You were asking about Doritos!”

“Whatever, we’ll argue about this later.” Remy rolled his eyes. “Just take your shirt off.” Virgil nodded again, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it into the same spot as his jacket. 

“This is gonna be as fun as always, huh?” Virgil asked, sitting down, facing away from Remy so the scales on his back were showing.

“Yep.” Remy said, dipping the towel into the water and getting closer to Virgil. “Do I ever tell you how pretty your scales are?” He asked.

“On multiple occasions, Rems.” Virgil sighed. His scales were normally a purple that faded into grey, but due to the shedding they had become a bit more dull. Remy muttered something under his breath before starting to rub off the dead skin on and around the scales with the wet rag, making Virgil flinch a bit. “Ow.”

“Sorry.” Remy hissed.

“You’re fine, this happens every time.” Virgil reassured, one eye screwing closed from the slight pain and heavy discomfort.

This continued for about half an hour, Virgil muttering obscenities while Remy apologized multiple times, and by the end, the dead skin covering the scales was peeled off for the most part. 

“Alright, I’m done with my part of this.” Remy said, dropping the rag into the sink full of water. “This wasn’t as bad as the first time, thank god.” He muttered, watching Virgil stand up, scratching the parts of the scales he could reach.

“The first time was absolute hell.” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. His shoulders slumped as he pulled his arms back in front of him. “Now get out of here, I need a shower.” Remy nodded and pulled the door open, giving Virgil a peace sign before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

He walked down the hall for a moment before bumping into someone. He stumbled back slightly and looked up to see Roman. “Oh shit, hey, Ro!” He exclaimed, smiling.

Roman chuckled. “Hey, Remy.” He said, waving slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just helping Vee out.” He shrugged.

“Oh, Anxiety?” Roman tilted his head slightly, and gave him a slightly confused look. Remy then remembered walking out of the bathroom and saying that he was helping someone out sounded very strange. “Were you two having sex or something?”   
Remy scoffed, crossing his arms. “I am insulted you would even think that!”   
“Are you saying I wouldn’t be a delight to have sex with?” Virgil called out from the bathroom.

“You wouldn’t be.” Remy called back, leaning his head back to try and get his message to Virgil.

“Fight me.” 

Remy and Roman laughed. “So, what happened, exactly?” Roman asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Uh, V--Anxiety kind of cut his arm on something, so I helped him clean it up.” Remy explained. That was a shitty excuse, but it was the only one he could think of at the moment. He shrugged. “He should be fine now.” Remy paused for a moment, gauging Roman’s reaction before looking him up and down. “You know, girl, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. We should do something.”

Roman chuckled and nodded. “Sure thing.”

Remy smiled and dragged him off so he wouldn’t ask any more questions. Virgil didn’t need people finding out about his scales right now. That was probably the last thing he needed. But Remy would always be happy to help with Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a headcanon that his scales are under his eyes, but personally I like the idea of scales being down his spine better. Just my personal headcanon lol


	16. Trust Building

“Find what makes their life difficult...and destroy it.”

“What?” Virgil was afraid. He was scared now. He almost shrunk in on himself as the video kept going on and Roman did his weird display of affection for Valerie.

The video went smoothly from then on, but Virgil couldn’t help but think about what Roman had said. He would have been fine with it if Virgil wasn’t the thing making Thomas’ life difficult. He did his best to calm down and ignore it for the rest of the video. Everything was okay, even though the end sequence was...well, awkward.

Roman jumped back slightly, face flushed heavily, holding the hand Virgil accidentally held to his chest. “I--Uh, I--” He cleared his throat. “What the hell, Patton?” He asked, looking over to Logan and Patton who were both holding back laughs. Patton just shrugged. “Whatever.” He groaned, looking over to Virgil, who seemed to be laughing nervously. “Sorry about that, Fall Out Boy.”

Virgil chuckled. “Y-Yeah, it’s fine.” He sighed, his breath wavering slightly. “I should head back to my room.” He muttered.

“You can stay down here if you want, Anxiety.” Logan said, walking over to the bookshelf and picking up a book, sitting down at the couch.

Virgil shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine.” He assured, walking up the stairs. “Cya.” He muttered under his breath, not even caring if the others heard it. He was still a bit shaken up from what Roman had said. He had said he could trust them, but he made statements like that and it freaked Virgil out so much. Maybe Roman actually hated him.

Maybe it was an act for the cameras. Or maybe he really meant it.

He shivered and threw open his door, shutting it quick behind him, looking down at the hand Roman had been forced to hold. He had seemed so upset over it, and so had Virgil. They both acted that way for a reason, right? For Virgil it was just because he wasn’t expecting it, but what about Roman? Why had he reacted that way? He seemed angry at Patton and Logan for doing that when they all sunk out. Roman had said he was interested in him, but he seemed so scared when it had happened. Did he really hate him?   
Trust was fucking difficult.

 

The next morning, Virgil opted to stay in his room throughout breakfast. Maybe he could play it off as sleeping in a bit late. He stayed in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He hoped that others might forget about him and leave him up there for however long he wanted to be up there. He just about thought that might happen until there was a knock against the door.

“Anxiety?” He heard Logan’s voice call out. Virgil chose not to respond. Maybe he would think he was still asleep. “Anxiety?” He repeated. “Anxiety….I’m coming in.” Virgil immediately closed his eyes to try and pretend he was asleep.

He heard his door swing open and footsteps approach his bed. VIrgil quickly realized he was wearing short sleeves and his arms were over the blankets.

Fuck.

He heard Logan go to say something but quickly stop. He heard him mutter something under his breath before a hand was on his shoulder. “Hey, Anxiety. Wake up.” Would Logan believe if he said he was dead? Virgil sighed and gave up the act, opening his eyes.

“I’m up, I’m up.” He muttered, sitting up in bed. Took a lot of executive function to manage to push himself up, but he did despite himself. He looked up at Logan, who looked a bit worried. “Is it time for breakfast?” He asked. Logan nodded, his eyes staring at the wall beside Virgil, obviously trying to avoid looking at his arms, or more rather, the scars littered across them. “Alright, gimme a minute, I’ll be out in a bit.”

Logan nodded again and exit the room. Virgil groaned and held a hand up to his forehead. Logan had seen his scars, and he did not want anybody but two sides seeing his scars. Okay, more like he didn’t want anybody to see his scars.

Whatever, he just needed to get some of the breakfast and then come back so he could get away from Roman. It wasn’t that he hated Roman, but after a lot of thinking from last night...he was afraid. He didn’t want him hurting Virgil or any of his old…’friends’. He didn’t want anyone getting hurt. 

He sighed and threw on a pair of decent sweatpants and the hoodie he had worn when he went to Pattons room. Still smelled somewhat like the room...and Patton. Gay thoughts, not the time. Virgil shook his head and threw the hoodie on, walking down the stairs.

Patton noticed Virgil coming down the stairs and waved him over. “Hey, kiddo!” He exclaimed in greeting. “I was afraid you weren’t coming for a minute!”

“If he didn’t, I would have absolutely stolen his french toast.” Roman said. 

Virgil chuckled nervously. “Glad I came down, then.” He muttered as Patton put his plate on the table. “Because those are mine.” He said, sitting down at his usual spot. Roman laughed as well, rolling his eyes. Virgil had only one (Well, more two) thing on his mind: Get food and get out.

And he did just that, and it was going well! Until, of course, Patton followed him to his room.

“Hey, Anxiety!” He called out right before Virgil entered his room. Virgil bit his lip and turned to Patton, who caught up to him, smiling. “You alright today?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Virgil muttered as he fumbled with the doorknob. “Why?”

“Well, you weren’t really wearing your usual clothes today, and you seemed kind of out of it.” Patton said, his eyebrows twisting to make him look more concerned even if he was still smiling slightly. “Is something wrong?”

_ You can tell them anything, right? _

“Well…” Virgil sighed, looking up and down the hallway for anyone else who might be listening. “It’s just...Roman said that he should destroy what makes life difficult.” He looked at Patton’s expression for a moment to see if it had changed. “I-I’m what makes Thomas’ life difficult, so...I don’t know, it’s kind of stupid.”

He’s ready for it. Ready for someone to laugh or criticize him, whatever Patton is about to throw, he’s ready for it.

“Oh, I can talk with Roman for you, if you want!” Patton said, catching Virgil somewhat off guard. “I’m sure that’s not at all what he meant, trust me!”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to do that.” Virgil reassured. “It’s just me being dumb again, I should realize he didn’t mean that all.” He shrugged, reaching for his doorknob again. “I’ll...talk with him myself.”

“Anxiety, it’s not dumb at all.” Patton reassured, reaching to touch his shoulder but paused, waiting for Virgil to do something. Virgil nodded, and Patton placed his hand on his shoulder. “If you need me to talk to him, I will.”

Virgil bit his lip. “Yeah, that would be nice.” He smiled when Patton smiled, it was almost contagious at the moment. He pulled his hand away and nodded, walking off and leaving Virgil to whatever he was planning. Virgil was gonna sleep, but he figured he should do something more productive.

He did want to play a few new songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it almost seems like im tired of writing this with the quality of the chapters, but im actually just really excited to write future chapters that I can barely wait so sorry if the quality of some chapters seems low, I'll try to fix that!


	17. Songs

 

_ “Coma baby, with your sick head. _

_ The doctors saved you, but you’re still dead. _

_ Through your scalp I would like to reach in, _

_ So I could pull out the monster you’ve been.” _

 

Virgil liked to sing. He really did, but he didn’t do it often, mostly because when some of the other sides had found out about it, they had said some things that made Virgil want to stop for a while (or more forever). Though Remy and Dee were always there to ask him to because they, for some reason, liked his singing and playing.

He finished up the song, looking back up at his computer and chuckling to himself.

“I didn’t know you could play.” A voice said from the doorway. Virgil quickly whipped his head around to see Roman leaning against the doorframe.

“Uh, hey, Roman.” Virgil said casually, putting the ukulele down in front of him. “When did you get here?”

“Just a couple minutes ago.” He shrugged. ”Your voice is nice.” He said, stepping into the room.

“Hey, remember the last time you were in here for a long time?” Virgil said. Roman paused and took a few steps back. “Yeah, I guess.” He muttered.

“Come to my room, I wanna hear you sing a bit more, if that’s okay?” He asked. Virgil gave him a bit of a worried look. “Patton talked to me, don’t worry. I’ll explain when we get there, if you want.”

“I’d prefer if you explained now.” Virgil said. 

“If I’m gonna be completely honest, I was never once thinking about hurting you when I said to destroy what makes life difficult.” He explained, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. “I didn’t realize how bad it sounded until Patton told me about it. I felt really bad and was gonna come here to apologize.”

“Well…” Virgil paused for a moment. “I guess you’re forgiven.”

Roman smiled. “Well, do you wanna come to my room and play a few more songs? I’d love to hear some more.” Virgil flushed slightly, he hadn’t heard that in a long while. He nodded either way, picking up his ukulele and closing the laptop, bringing it with him as well.

They made it to Roman’s room and Virgil set his laptop down next to him as he sat down, ukulele in his lap. Roman sat down next to him.

“So, when did you start playing?” Roman asked as Virgil held the ukulele in the playing position.

“Uh, around when Thomas was...fifteen? A couple years after I came into existence.” Virgil shrugged. “Do you play anything?”

“I used to play piano.” Roman said. “Still have the keyboard.”

“A ukulele and piano duo.” He joked. “Play the shittiest songs out there.”

Roman laughed. “Hell yeah.” He looked down at the laptop. “What song were you playing back there?”

“Coma Baby by Nicole Dollanganger.” Virgil said, opening the laptop and putting in the password before switching to another tab. “I can play something else.”

“What, My Chemical Romance?” Roman asked, sounding a bit cocky.

“No, but I should.” Virgil shrugged as he scrolled down. “Here it is.” He said to nobody in particular. “Alright, how about a song called ‘Daddy Issues’?”

“I’m gonna regret asking what that song is about, aren’t I?” Roman asked.

“It’s actually kind of sad.” Virgil said, positioning the ukulele again. He tested out the cords a few times before starting to play.

 

_ “Take. You. Like. A. Drug. _

_ I taste. You. On. My. Tongue. _

_ You ask me what I’m thinking about, _

_ I’ll tell you that I’m thinking about _

_ Whatever you’re thinking about.” _

_ Tell me something that I’ll forget, _

_ And you might have to tell me again. _

_ It’s crazy what you do for a friend.” _

 

Virgil kpet playing for the length of the song and when he finished he looked back up to Roman, who was smiling wide.

“That was really good, Vee!” He said happily, clapping his hands together. Virgil chuckled slightly, face flushing a bit more than the first time. “How often do you play, anyways?” He asked.

“Uh, I used to do it just whenever people asked.” Virgil explained. “Other than that, I wouldn’t often.”

“Why not?” Roman asked. “You’re really good!”

“Eh, some of the other sides would beg to differ.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. “So, I tried to be quiet when I did play, so they wouldn’t hear.”

“Well, they seem like assholes.” Roman said. “Because, hot damn.”

Virgil chuckled. “I guess.” He paused. “I can play ‘Disenchanted’ by My Chemical Romance if you want.”

“Go ahead.”

 

_ “Well, I was there on the day _

_ They sold the cause for the queen, _

_ And when the lights all went out, _

_ We watched our lives on the screen. _

_ I hate the ending myself, _

_ But It started with an alright scene.” _

 

“God, you’re edgy.” Roman muttered. Virgil just laughed. “Seriously, that was kind of sad!”

“You didn’t say that about ‘Daddy Issues’!” Virgil yelled in a defensive tone, making them both laugh really hard. “Okay, but I wanna hear you play something on the piano.” Roman groaned. “It’s only fair!”

“Fine.” Roman rolled his eyes, standing back up and walking over to his closet, shuffling around for a minute before he pulled out a keyboard, starting to set it up. “Y’know, I’m not very good at it.”

“At playing the piano?” Virgil asked, tilting his head slightly. Roman nodded and he scoffed. “Yeah, right. Play something and then I might think about believing that.”

Roman got a grin on his face and nodded, pressing down on a specific key that made Virgil jump in shock.

“You did not just G-note me!” Virgil shrieked.

“I knew that would work!”

“I hate you!”


	18. Fridge

It was late at night and Patton could barely get himself to fall asleep. Hell, closing his eyes for long enough was a challenge itself. He just stayed in bed, curled up into a ball as he stared off into the distance, or more rather stared at the wall, just trying to get a wink of sleep. He wasn’t even sure why he couldn’t sleep, he just couldn’t seem to. 

He eventually gave up trying, and decided to go downstairs, maybe get a snack. He pulled the covers off of him and got up from his bed, grabbing his glasses and stretching his arms out above his head. He yawned and started for the door, walking out into the dark hallway. He made his way down the stairs, almost falling down at one point.

He walked around the corner, walking into the kitchen. He noticed something was on top of the fridge. He froze in place, just staring up at it, slowly walking to the light switch, flicking it on and seeing...Virgil?

“Anxiety?” He watched as Virgil blinked a few times, making a groaning noise. “What are you doing up there?” He asked, adjusting his glasses on his face. Virgil just shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket, turning it on and looking at the time.

“What are you doing up at 12AM?” He asked, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“I could ask you the same question.” Patton remarked. “Get down from there, will you?”

Virgil shook his head. “Nah, I don’t wanna knock down the bottles up here.”

“Then...move the bottles or something.” Patton sighed. “Just get down, okay? Do you need to talk or something?” He noticed the tear tracks on his face, smearing the make up under his eyes.

Virgil sighed and nodded, pushing one of the bottles aside and hopping off the fridge, landing on the floor feet first, almost like a cat, except with more of him stumbling after he landed. “Well, that royally fucked up my ankles.” He muttered.

“Language, first of all.” Patton said, going to put a hand on his shoulder, but stopping when Virgil shook his head. “Secondly, why were you on the fridge?” He asked. He was so confused. What reason did Virgil have to be on top of the fridge?

Virgil shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“I’m sure you do.” Patton said. “Were you trying to sleep up there?” 

“No, I was just trying to calm down somewhere others wouldn’t bother me.” He paused for a moment, looking Patton up and down. “Guess I was wrong, though.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Patton asked.

“No.”

“Do you wanna just sit down for a bit? With me?”

“...Sure.”

Patton held out his hand, which Virgil slowly took, and walked over to the couch with him, letting him sit down, forcing himself to look smaller as he curled into the corner. Patton sat in the middle of the couch, laying his head back so he could stare up at the ceiling. The two sat in silence for a long while.

“Was it another nightmare?” Patton asked, bringing his head back up to look at Virgil.

He shook his head. “No, no, I would’ve come to you if it were that, it was just…” He sighed. “Bad memories were getting to me.” Virgil glanced up at Patton, who just nodded.

“Need to talk about them?” He asked again. “Talking about bad things usually helps me get them off my chest and my mind.”

“...Yeah, yeah, I can do that.” He nods, shuffling in place so it’s a bit more comfortable. He sucked in a deep breath before he started talking. “Well, when I was with the other sides, a lot of bad things happened. I don’t blame them or anything for it, but there was a time where, uh...it wasn’t on Christmas, it was before that...they, uh, locked me in a closet for an entire day.”

Patton’s expression quickly changed from interest to concern. “Wait, the  _ entire _ day?”

“Yeah.” Virgil nodded, sounding like he was confused as to why Patton was concerned. “Have they never done that to you?” ‘They’ must’ve been referring to Roman and Logan.

“Absolutely not!” Patton exclaimed. “That’s awful!”

Virgil paused for a moment, thinking. “Y-yeah, it is.” He sighed. “They wouldn’t let me out for anything. No matter how much I yelled and begged for them to let me out and even through every damn excuse, they wouldn’t let me out.”

“Was it just one day, or was it longer than that?” Patton asked, scooting a bit closer to Virgil.

“Well, Remy--you know who he is right?” He asked, and Patton nodded. “Well, he was the one to find me and let me out. I was done crying by then, but I felt really disgusting because the closet was gross and, uh, things happened. He helped me out of it and told me to get cleaned up and take a nap. Ever since then, he’d become a much better friend to me, and less of a friend to the two who did it to me.” He took in another breath. “I figured that maybe it was something everybody did to people as a joke, but...after you said that’d never happened to you...I guess it’s not.”

“It is in no way normal for someone to do that to you, Anxiety.” Patton reassured, leaning into him. “Can I hug you?” He asked. It was evident that Virgil was about to start crying again. He nodded, his hands shaking. Patton immediately went in and scooped Virgil into his arms, pulling him close. Virgil broke down and started crying into Patton’s chest, making small sobbing noises that he would call pathetic, but Patton didn’t seem to be making fun of him for it, and in fact, starting running a hand through Virgil’s hair, messing it up a bit more than it was originally. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” He muttered.

Virgil sniffled after he pulled away, using his long sleeve to wipe the tears off his face. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this.” He mumbled.

“You didn’t drag me into anything, Vee.” He reassured.

“I know, it’s just…” He sighed shakily. “This is stupid, you don’t need to comfort me over it.”

“It’s never stupid to feel bad over something, Anxiety.” Patton said, smiling softly. “I’m afraid of spiders, but me freaking out over them doesn’t make it stupid.”

“Well, that’s different.” Virgil said. “Spiders are a common fear, I’m just making a big deal out of something that happened a long time ago.”

“Some things are hard to let go, Vee.” Patton explained. “Especially things one could say are traumatic. It sure sounds like this was something hard to forget.”

“...Yeah, I’ve been trying to forget for a while.” He said. “Thanks for letting me vent about it.”

“You said something about it not being Christmas. Has this happened multiple times?” Patton asked.

“Yes, it happened a few times after that one.” Virgil nodded.

“You deserve a lot better than what you’ve been put through, Anxiety.”

Virgil wanted to believe what he was saying so badly.


	19. Remy Can't Keep Secrets

 

“Virge, get up.” Remy growled, yanking the sheets off of Virgil’s bed.

“Virgil is dead!” Virgil yelled, covering his face with his hands. “Come back another time!”

“Get up, or I will actually fight you!” Remy threatened. 

“Why should I?” Virgil asked, curling back up into a ball.

“Because I said so!”

“You’re not my mom!”

“I’m your mom  _ and _ your dad now!” Remy said. “I’m your...dom--Wait, shit, no!” Virgil burst into a fit of cackling. “Please, no!” Virgil sat up now, and looked at Remy with the best innocent look he could give while still smiling evilly.

“Daddy?”

“Fucking slam on the breaks, kid!” Remy shouted. Virgil kept laughing so hard he almost doubled over in on himself.

“Oh my god, that got me up real fucking quick.” Virgil breathed, his sigh afterwards wavering due to still wanting to laugh. Remy groaned and sat on the bed next to Virgil.

“I cannot believe I just gave you the opportunity to call me daddy.” Remy whispered, making Virgil laugh even more. “Shut up! It’s not that funny!”

“It really is!”

Remy groaned, leaning his head against the headboard. “Are you ticklish?” He asked out of nowhere when Virgil had finally calmed down.

“Trick fucking question.” Virgil said. “No matter what I say, you’ll tickle me.” He held his arms out. “Go ahead, do your worst.” 

Remy gave a closed mouth laugh. “You have unleashed the beast.”

“Oh god--I’ll fight you!” Virgil shouted once Remy had started to tickle him. “Stop!”

“You let this happen!”

“Fuck you!”

It took a long, long minute before Remy stopped, and Virgil was breathing heavily, head resting in Remy’s lap. 

“I hate you.” He muttered. “God, I’m gonna piss myself.

“You’re into that.” Remy said.

“Maybe so.” Virgil said, making Remy laugh a bit. “So, why are you here right now, exactly?”

“Because a little birdie told me that someone here has a bit of a crush on you.” Remy said, grinning. Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious, they really do!”

“Lemme guess, Roman?” Virgil asked. “Because I’m 99% sure he’s joking.”

“No, no, no, he’s not joking, trust me on that!” Remy said, sounding a bit serious. “I talked to him, and he said he absolutely does!”

“Did you promise him not to tell?” Virgil asked.

Remy smiled. “Maybe.”

“You are horrible.” Virgil said, reaching his hands up to push Remy’s face away, making him laugh.

“Damn right I am, baby!” Remy said. “But are you gonna do something about it?”

“If I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know.” Virgil said. “Not sure if I’m ready for another relationship right now, which sounds kind of stupid, but it’s true.”

“That’s not stupid, if you ask me, kid.” Remy reassured. “In fact, that’s really understandable.”

“You sound like Patton.” Virgil muttered, smiling slightly.

“We’re both the dad friends.” Remy chuckled. “But, yeah, you should probably talk to him about it.”

“I have anxiety, Victor.” He said breathily, sounding almost like he was dying.

“Who the fuck is Victor?” Remy laughed, making confused noises after that, that made Virgil laugh again. “Isn’t Victor my old nickname for you from when I forgot what your name was?” He asked.

“Oh my god, it was!” Virgil smiled. “You forgot my name and called me Victor for a solid week!”

“It was the most embarrassing thing when someone finally corrected me, Jesus Christ.” Remy muttered. “I wanted to curl up and die, holy shit.”

“I mean, hey, that kind of started our friendship.” Virgil said, sitting up and leaning his back against the headboard. “Okay, can I be honest about two things?” Remy nodded. “One, I used to have a crush on you.”

“Wait, really?” Remy paused, sitting up fully. “...You had a crush?” Virgil nodded. “On me?” Virgil nodded again. “Okay, but why?”

“I don’t know, you were really nice to me, and I pretty much fall in love with everyone who’s nice to me!” He said, throwing his arms up a bit. “Okay, but on the subject of crushes, I also might have a crush on Roman…” He said, the sentence sounding more like a question.

“Oh my god, can I tell him that?” Remy asked.

“You are horrible at secrets!” Virgil yelled. Remy laughed, and it caused Virgil to laugh a bit as well. “No, you can not tell him!”

“Awww, why not?” Remy asked, tilting his head innocently.

“Fucking hate you sometimes, y’know that, Rems?” Virgil asked.

“Knew it since I first met you.” Remy sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a filler chapter (you're probably gonna see a lot of those in this fic) but it does have a little bit of plot, so don't @ me lmao


	20. Missy, Pranks, and Steven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of these figments too much, they just seem really cute to me, okay? Especially Missy! (Also Pranks, the little shit)

It’s very strange when you live in a place with three other adults and walk downstairs to see an added bonus of three children. It’s like baking one cake and opening the oven to two, it’s just weird. But believe me, not even this would phase Virgil.

The three children were messing around in the living room when Virgil came down. “What the--”

“Don’t swear in front of them.” Patton warned from his spot in the middle of the couch, watching the kids. “Remember earlier in the week when we were talking about the kids that Emile watched?” He asked, looking up to Virgil.

“...Yeah? Are these guys them?” He asked, only slightly confused. 

Patton smiled. “Yep. Missy, Pranks, and Steven.”

“Hello!” One of them said, stopping their chasing of one of the others to walk up to Virgil. This was a girl with short brown hair and she was wearing a white dress; interesting. “I’m gonna have to kill you…” She paused for a very long moment, which was very threatening if you asked Virgil. “...with kindness!”

“Oh--oh, okay! I thought...okay, wow!” Virgil chuckled a bit. “You must be Missy, right?” The girl nodded. “Alright, nice to meet you, kid.”

“Nice to meet you too, mister! You’re Anxiety, right?” She asked.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Virgil nodded. “You can call me ‘Vee’, if you wanna.” 

“Why ‘Vee’?” Missy tilted her head slightly. Damn, she was cute.

“Just a shorter version of my actual name.” Virgil shrugged. “So, which one is Pranks and which one is Steven?”

“Well, Steven kind of looks like Steven Universe, so.” Missy shrugged to finish her sentence. Virgil looked up and saw a curly haired boy look up from what he was drawing and smile and wave at the two. Virgil waved at him as well. He would admit, the kid did look like a Steven from the cartoon. “And Pranks is, well, the other one.”

“Somebody say my name?” The remaining child said, running up to Missy and yanking on a chunk of her hair, eliciting a yelp from her. Pranks just laughed and ran off, Missy chasing after him. Pranks looked to be a teenager, maybe six years older than Missy, who looked about ten or nine. Maybe they all came in at different times, kind of like Virgil did.

Virgil chuckled and sat down next to Patton on the couch. “I didn’t miss breakfast, did I?” He asked. Patton shook his head, looking over Steven’s shoulder and at his drawing. Patton smiled widely.

“Who are you drawing there, Steven?” He asked.

Steven looked up from his drawing on the coffee table and turned to Patton with it. “I’m trying to draw you, but it’s not very good.” He said, handing it over to him. Patton gasped and smiled even wider.

“Aww, I love it!” He exclaimed. Steven smiled and flushed slightly. “It’s really good!” 

“No, no, it’s not that good.” Steven said.

“Kid, that is one awesome drawing.” Virgil chimed in.  Steven mumbled something under his breath and turned back to his papers and crayons. “So, are we watching these kids for a while?” He asked, turning to Patton.

Patton nodded. “Yep. I should probably make breakfast.” He said. “Make sure the kiddos don’t break anything, okay?” Virgil gave a thumbs up, and Patton stood up, walking over to the kitchen. “What do you all want?”

“It’s y’all!” Pranks shouted, stopping his running, making Missy run straight into him. She fell, landing on her back. “Also, pancakes.”

“Don’t act so casual, you just pushed me!” Missy yelled.

“No, you fell on your own, I just happened to be there!” Pranks said, turning to her, hands on his hips. Virgil tried not to laugh. He heard a strange noise from the top of the stairs before footsteps and down came Logan.

“Why is there a string at the top of the staircase?” He asked, holding up a white string.

Pranks turned to him and scoffed. “You took down my trick!”

“Not much of a trick if there’s no intention. Or plan.” Logan muttered, looking at Missy, who was still on the floor. “Did Pranks push you again?”

“I didn’t push her!” Pranks shouted, throwing his hands into the air before turning back to her and holding out a hand to pull her up, but instead Missy grabbed the hand pulled him down, quickly rolling out of the way very strategically, making him land face-first into the carpet. “Rude!” He shouted, looking over to her. She was giggled maniacally on the ground, holding her stomach.  “It’s not that funny!” He shouted again, sitting up.

“It really is!” Missy said between laughs.

“Actual children.” Logan muttered, walking over to the bookshelf, taking a book down and walking over to the kitchen table and sitting down in the usual spot. “So, how’ve you guys been while you weren’t here?” He asked, looking more towards Steven than the other two.

“It’s been good!” Steven answered when the other two didn’t, having some sort of sticking-the-tongue-out battle. “Emile and Remy have been really nice!”

“Is Remy someone who takes care of you guys sometimes?” Virgil asked. Steven nodded, looking back down to the drawing. “Has he ever accidentally set something on fire?”

“Accidentally?” Pranks said. “Buddy, he sets things on fire all the time just because.”   
“I know, I’ve experienced it.” Virgil muttered. “He’s a weird guy, isn’t he?”

“He sure is.” Missy said, stretching her arms and legs out, making her words stretch out too. “So, Vee, you wanna know why we’re here or whatever?”

“Yeah, you guys aren’t sides, so are you figments?” Virgil asked, tilting his head.

“Exactly what we are!” Pranks said, standing up and dusting off his jeans. “I’m here because when Thomas was a teenager, he got really into pranking people, so I came into the picture!”

“I’m based around the misleading compliments series he made!” Missy said, sitting up.

“And Steven?” Logan looked up from his book after Steven was silent for a long moment.

“Oh, I hold memories. I’m like a memory holder.” He shrugged, putting the crayon down and turning to Virgil. “If you touch my hand, I can give you a random memory of Thomas’.” He explained, holding his hand out.

“Your hands are very small.” Virgil observed, chuckling slightly. “Sure thing, give me a memory that’s happy. Is that how it works?” Steven nodded, moving his hand slightly to reiterate that it was there. “Alright, happy memories.” He muttered, tapping his hand against Steven’s.

His eyes suddenly were covered by a vision of something. It was a moving image, a video, that was playing quite quickly.

It was Thomas’ first christmas.

The memory stopped playing and Virgil blinked a few times to make his vision less blurry. “How do you remember his first christmas? Thomas doesn’t even remember that!”

“I hold subconscious memories too.” Steven shrugged, turning back to his drawing. “Like the man everyone sees in their dreams, y’know?”

“I try to forget him.” Virgil muttered. “That’s a cool power, little buddy.”

“Thanks.” Steven said, sounding a bit monotone, as he was focused on his paper. “Fun fact, whenever I touch someone for the first time and give them a memory, I get a memory.” He paused for a moment. “You were dating a side, huh?”

“That’s--not important!” Virgil yelled, his face quickly flushing, making Steven laugh, even if he couldn’t see it. “What kind of memory did you get?”

“Just a normal one. Nothing out of the ordinary about it.” Steven said. “Just a gift giving.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay…So--” He was cut off by Missy screeching very loudly. “What just happened?!” He yelled.

“I agreed to make a truce with him and he joybuzzered me!” She shouted, pointing at Pransk accusingly, who was holding up his hand with a joy buzzer in it, grinning.

Kids, Amiright?


	21. Even Princes Have Their Low Points

 

“It was so embarrassing, Patton!” Roman complained for about the eighth time that day. Patton sighed, nodding, muttering ‘I know’ under his breath as he walked over to Roman’s bed, sitting down on the edge of it. “Ugh, I hate this.”

“You realize that Logan and Anxiety are gonna have to do a video for a while, right?” Patton tilted his head. Roman rolled his eyes, biting down on his spoon again, making the gross clinking noise that Patton hated. He quickly apologized when he noticed how Patton flinched. “You’re fine.” He nodded. “Do you want to cuddle for a bit to take your mind off of it?” He asked.

Roman hummed a nodded, setting the bowl he was eating from on the nightstand, opening his arms which Patton gladly crawled into, leaning against Roman’s chest. “You’re really nice.” Roman muttered, resting his chin atop Patton’s head.

“I just like treating my boyfriends when they’re down.” Patton shrugged. “Is that wrong?”

“Not at all. I love it, in fact.” Roman said. “Unlike your dad jokes, of course.”

“Aww, you don’t love them?” Patton asked, sounding disappointed. “I thought you loved all my puns and jokes.”

“Can you even call them jokes?” He muttered.

“Rude.”

“So.” Roman paused for a moment before continuing his sentence. “You think Anxiety is gonna get along with Logan in the video they’re making?”

“Oh, I sure hope so.” Patton answered, nodding slightly. “They seem like they go together.”

“What, logic and anxiety?” He asked with a confused tone. “Seems more like they don’t get along.”

“Well, sometimes anxiety is rooted in logic, right?” He said, closing his eyes under his glasses, leaning his head further into Roman’s chest. “Or at least we think it is.”

“You might be right about that.” Roman said, raising his eyebrows in surprise that that made sense. “But do you think the two will get along?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Patton smiled. “Maybe they’ll get along better than we think! Maybe it’ll be like us two.”

Roman made a ‘pft’ noise. “Right. We’re dating, Patton.”

“All three of us are dating.” Patton corrected, raising a finger to signify Roman was wrong. He opened his eyes and put his hand down. “What do you think would happen if he joined the relationship?”

“Well, I like him, and I know for a fact you do too.” Roman said. Patton went to say something. “Don’t even deny it, Pat.” He stopped and closed his mouth again. “So, I mean, we could probably do that. Especially if he gets on Logan’s good side.” Patton chuckled. “I’m serious, even if Logan wasn’t dating him as well, we totally could.”

“Yeah, we’d just have to have a discussion.” Patton shrugged. “But Anxiety is, indeed, cute.” He admit. “We just don’t know if he likes us as well.”

“I hope he does.” Roman muttered, pulling Patton a bit closer. There was a moment of silence before someone spoke again. “Do you think I should play the piano again?”

“You were really good at it, so why not?” He said.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t remember any songs I played.” Roman mumbled. “But I wanna try to play again but a bit better than before. If that would be possible.”

“I think you can do it.” Patton said. “In fact, I know you can do it.

Roman hummed an agreement. “Can we watch a Disney movie or something? My mind is still wandering.”

“Sure thing, which one?” Patton asked, starting to move out of Roman’s arms, but Roman pulled him back in. “Ro, we have to leave the room if you want to watch the movie.”

“No move. Only watch.” Roman said, hiding his face by resting it against Patton’s head, strands of hair obscuring his face. 

Patton laughed. “You’re like a dog, come on, we can still cuddle while we watch the movie.” Patton said. Roman shook his head and pulled Patton in a bit more. Patton groaned. “I’ll bake you something, how about that?”

“Bargaining, the third stage of grief.” Roman said, lifting his head up so Patton could hear him. “But you’ve won me over, so okay.” He let Patton out of his grip and sat up fully, letting Patton get out of bed and hold his hand out to him. Roman smiled and took the hand, stepping off the bed.

They walked down the stairs and made it to the common room, Roman sitting on the couch and Patton walked into the kitchen, only to almost trip over his own feet.

“Oh shi--...” He made dead eye contact with Roman. “Ocean man. Take me by the hand. Lead me to the land.” He quickly started singing to correct himself.

“You have killed me.” Roman said, laying back dramatically. “To think I thought you might actually swear. I am dead now.”

“No, I’m dad.”

“I said dead.”

“Same thing.”

“I sure...hope not?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay just you all know:  
> I READ EVERY COMMENT  
> AND I SCREAM EVERY TIME I GET THEM  
> AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO REPLY TO COMPLIMENTS  
> SO UNLESS YOU ASK A QUESTION  
> I MIGHT NOT RESPOND AND IM SO SORRY FOR THAT  
> BUT JUST KNOW  
> I LOVE THE COMMENTS  
> AND I LOVE YOU  
> THANK YOU FOR SPENDING YOUR TIME READING THIS SILLY LITTLE FIC I MADE  
> <3 <3 <3


	22. Hiss

“Eh-- I’m sorry, did he just hiss at me?”

Virgil and Logan both sunk out, making it to the common room where they first noticed the two other sides on the couch, Roman laying against Patton’s chest. Roman held up a peace sign to the two, looking back to the TV screen that was playing Pocahontas.

“Hey guys.” Patton greeted, not looking away from the screen.

“Hey.” Virgil muttered. He still wasn't exactly sure how to react over Logan saying he didn't hate him. He thought all the sides secretly hated him. Maybe Logan really didn't hate him. “What're you guys watching?”

“‘White man is dangerous’ according to you, I believe it was?” Roman said, smirking a bit, still looking at the TV. Virgil rolled his eyes and sat down on the other side of the couch, falling into the corner spot. 

“Yeah, that's the one.” Virgil nodded.

Logan chuckled and sat down next to Virgil, not too close it him, luckily. “Which part are you at?” He asked, before noticing what was happening on the screen. “Ah, yes, the scene that shows four months of language teaching within two seconds.”

“Oh, shut up, it's a cartoon, nerd.” Roman rolled his eyes.

“Hey, Logan, I found a song you should listen to, mind if I play it real quick?” Patton asked, grinning. Logan gave him a confused look but slowly nodded. Patton picked up the remote and paused the movie, pulling out his phone. “I’m sure you might recognize it.”

“I don’t know about that.” Logan muttered, looking to Virgil, still confused.

The song started playing and had a strange instrumental for a moment before the lyrics played.

_ “There’s a million, billion, trillion stars, _

_ But I’m down here low fussing over scars on my soul. _

_ I am so. _

_ Infinitesimal.” _

 

“You make one mistake!” Logan shouted, throwing his hands up, making everyone but him laugh. “How did you even find that song?”

“I just searched up ‘infinitesimal song’ and there it was.” Patton shrugged, pausing the song and putting his phone back on the coffee table and wrapping his arms around Roman again. “It was fairly easy to find. Plus the song is pretty good. I was just attracted to it, I guess.”

“We’re all attracted to each other in terms of gravity.” Logan said, leaning back into the sofa crease. “So, I guess gravity sucks for me.”

Roman looked directly at Virgil. “I’m attracted to you.”

Virgil didn’t even hesitate. “My foot is attracted to your ass.”

“Language!” Patton shouted, making both Roman and Virgil laugh. “And no fighting either!”   
“Fine, dad!” Virgil said sarcastically.

“Dang straight.” Patton muttered. 

“It’s more gay than straight.” Roman said.

“Damn gay.” Virgil whispered. 

“Watch your mouth!” Patton said, making Virgil laugh again.

 

Virgil knocked on Logan’s door. “Can I come in?” He asked. He heard an agreement from inside the room and he pushed the door open. “Woah, it’s warm in here.” He muttered.

“Warmer temperatures help the blood flow to the brain.” Logan said, shrugging. “What do you need?” He asked, turning in his spinning chair, facing it towards Virgil and away from his quite organized desk.

Virgil shut the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed in the room, messing with his sleeves. “Do you know how to get over bad memories?” He asked, still staring at his hands.

“Well, that's a very long process, Virgil, so it might take a while.” He paused for a moment, watching Virgil sigh, before tilting his head. “Why?”

“Just remembering the bad things.” He shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” Logan asked, quickly realizing how much it looked like Virgil had been crying. Maybe he was. “If you need to talk, none of us will mind.”

“I know, I was talking with Patton a bit ago.” Virgil said. “He suggested I ask you about forgetting. Or more, getting over them, was what he said.” He started to stand up. “Sorry for bothering you.”   
“No, you aren’t bothering me.” Logan reassured. “In fact, if you wanna stay, go ahead.” Virgil stood there, giving him a confused look.

“Really?” He asked. Logan nodded. Virgil looked around the room for a moment. “Does this room have bad effects on people?” Logan shook his head. Virgil nodded and sat back down. “Alright, I’ll stay.” He looked around the room again. “You like astrology?”

Logan smiled. “Yes! It’s very interesting to me.” He said. “I just love how there are such perfect ways for everything to align so perfectly to the point where the planets’ order just works out! Plus there are so many different planets out there, and it's just such a diverse amount of possibilities for ways to be. Every system has a star and a black hole, but we don't know if the Milky Way does, it's just so--” he paused. “Sorry, I'm talking a bit much.”

“No, go ahead, I love to just listen sometimes.” Virgil chuckled. “I agree, space is very interesting.”

“You got any interests like the way I like space, or no?” Logan asked.

Virgil flushed slightly. “It's a bit silly, but I do really love the languages of flowers.”

“Explain?” 

“Okay, so in every culture, there's different ways to interpret flowers. There's a specific name for a Japanese language of flowers. Basically, every flower has a specific meaning in different cultures.” Virgil explained, watching Logan nod. “And flowers can be interpreted so differently, like roses. A red rose means love, while a yellow one means friendship, and a black one can mean death. Orange lilies mean hatred and lobelias mean malevolence. They're all such pretty flowers but can have such dark meanings so them, and it's so cool!”

“That does sound very interesting.” Logan said, grinning. “I mean, flowers have many different aspects to them, that they might be interpreted in certain ways. Like the way a certain flower over takes most others by stealing food the flowers need, it might be considered a warrior or a martyr in some cultures.”

“Yeah, exactly!” Virgil chuckled. “I guess we're both nerds, huh?”

“Oh definitely.” Logan paused for a moment. “So, I've been thinking lately about what you said about the whole nonbinary thing.”

“Yeah?”

“I think I might be nonbinary as well.” He said.

“Really?” Virgil asked. “What made you realize?”

“Well, I experience emotions in a more dull way than the others. All feelings I experience are lessened.” He shrugged. “It just kind of makes sense to me that I might be nonbinary. I found the label demiboy fits well.”

“That's awesome.” Virgil smiled. “Do you wanna go by any specific pronouns?”

“No, he/him still works for me.” Logan said. “I forgot to ask if you go by any specific pronouns, though.”

“Eh, he/him or they/them works.” He shrugged. “I’m glad I could help you figure this all out.”

“It was partially because of you, yes.” He paused again. “Anxiety, why do you hiss? Is it just something you learned from the others or is it subconscious?”

Virgil shrugged. “All of the other sides, including me have aspects to them that are snake-like. I guess we all just hiss.”

“Are you less snake-like than the others?” Logan asked.

“Yes, I guess.” He muttered. “I mean, some of the sides have more snake-like features than I do. One of them has, like, a mask over his eyes of scales and his eyes are that of a snakes. He usually covers them up with sunglasses, though.”

“Like Remy does with how tired he is?” Logan asked a bit jokingly.

Virgil scoffed, smiling. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you have scales like the others?”

_ Yes.  _ “No.”

Logan shrugged. “Well, you all seem very interesting. Not sure why Thomas subconsciously chose snakes, but okay.”

Virgil smiled. Nobody had ever really called him ‘interesting’ before, but he liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love....nonbinary virgil and logan


	23. dissociate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter contains kind of explicit vomiting! If that makes you Uncomfy, skip this chapter, it won't ruin the story for you, I promise! Or, read this but practice self care before during and after! Stay safe.

Virgil was anxious. What else was new? But he was more anxious than on average. He didn't feel like doing anything because of it, he just wanted to stay in bed all day, but his mind was racing with the consequences of doing so. So, of course, he went to breakfast and suffered.

  
He told Patton he didn't want anything and sat down in his usual spot, tapping his hand steadily on the table. He felt like he might break down. Patton must have noticed this, because he placed a cube on the table, each side with a different feature like buttons or switches.

“What-what is this?” Virgil asked, picked up the cube and examining it.

Patton shrugged. “Something to keep you busy.”

“...Thanks?” His voice wavered as he dragged his hand into his hair, trying not to cry right there. He messed with the buttons on the cubes, listening to the steady noises it made. It didn't make him any calmer, but it was steady rhythm, something he could use right now.

“Morning you two.” Roman said as he came down the stairs. Virgil mostly ignored it. He didn't fell like he was gonna cry anymore, he didn't feel anything. He barely felt his fingers digging into his scalp and he barely felt his fingers pressing into the buttons. His breathing was getting heavier but he couldn't even recognize that.

Was he even real? He didn't feel like it if he was.

He dropped the cube, not feeling it slip from his fingers. He heard the sound of it hitting the table but it felt so much louder. He flinched slightly and brought his hand to his other, tapping against it, trying to feel some kind of sensation.

“Uh, Anxiety?” Virgil looked up and saw Logan. When did he get here? “What are you doing?” He asked.

Virgil bit his lip and could feel a liquid. Did he bite so hard he bled? He couldn't even taste it. “I'm trying to remind myself I'm real.” He said, almost feeling the tears start to drip from his eyes. “And it's not working.” He whispered.

He pulled his shaking hands apart and stared down at them. Were they always so pale? Where did that scar come from?

“Anxiety, of course you're real. What makes you think you aren't?” Logan asked. The voice sounded so distant.

“I don't...feel Anything.” Virgil explained, not looking up. “I don't taste anything, I don't feel anything.” He looked up and saw concerned face looking at him. Was it concern? “I don't feel real. I don't feel...I'm in control.”

“Are you bleeding?” Roman asked.

“Am I?” He asked, dragging his hand across his chin and pulling it back, seeing red on his hand. Interesting. “I guess so.”

“Is there anything we can do about the not feeling real?” Patton asked, walking up next to Virgil.

“Uhm…” Virgil paused for a moment, trying to think, but all thoughts seemed so far away. “I-I can't think.”

“Can I touch you?” Patton asked. Virgil nodded mindlessly and barely felt when Patton out his hands on his shoulders. “Can you feel that?”

“Kind of.” Virgil muttered.

“You're shaking.” Roman observed, standing next to him and feeling his arm. “Logan, do you know what's happenings?” He asked, looking over to him.

“I think Anxiety is dissociating. We need to get him to snap out of it somehow.” Logan explained, standing up and walking up to Virgil as well. “We can't overwhelm him but we need to remind him that he's real, it'll make this go by much quicker.”

“Hey, why the fuck is this room suddenly so big?” Virgil asked. Had it always been this big and he was just now noticing.

“Hey, Anxiety, stand up, okay?” Logan said, grabbing Virgil's hand and helping him up. Virgil stumbled a bit, suddenly aware of just how tall he was. “Hey, you're real, okay? You're gonna affect Thomas depending on what you do, and you can do what you want. You're in control, okay?”

There was a long few minutes of the others trying to convince Virgil and after a while he finally started coming down. Virgil nodded and told them he was finally coming to and they all were glad, asking him if he was okay and things.

“How are you feeling?” Roman asked him.

Virgil felt something in his throat burning. “Like...I need to go.” He said, quickly removing himself from the crowd around him and going to the closest container, which happened to be the sink and vomiting into it. He regurgitated whatever he had in his stomach from the day before, coughing a few times before vomiting again.

“Oh god.” Patton quickly looked away, eyes wide and a hand over his mouth as if he might vomit as well.  
Roman debated for a moment before looking to Logan, who was comforting Patton and that was all he needed for him to go to Virgil and start comforting him. He rubbed his back, letting Virgil cough up whatever was left in his throat and stomach.

“S-sorry.” Virgil muttered.

“It's fine, you're okay.” Roman reassured him. “Let it out if you need.” That caused Virgil to cough up and spit out a chunk of something, that kind of looked like some kind of thing you'd find on a wet dish while washing the dishes that you'd avoid touching with every part of your being. Roman looked back to Logan. “Everything okay back there?”

Logan nodded. “I think Patton is trying not to puke either.” He said. Patton nodded. “Yeah, that's exactly what's happening.”

Virgil swallowed hard. “Towel?” He asked. Roman nodded and quickly grabbed a towel, giving it to him, which he wiped off his mouth with. “God, that was disgusting.” He said, turning on the faucet and letting the water wash all the vomit out. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem, you were having an episode and it led to you feeling sick.” Logan said, letting Patton walk over to the couch and sit down. “These things happen.” Virgil nodded. “Do you often dissociate?” Virgil shook his head.

“I also don't get sick often, so this is just strange.” He said, turning the tap off and turning around. “So, who wants to clean out the sink?”

Long pause.

“Not it.”

“Not it.”

“Not it.”

“Oh come on!” Logan shouted


	24. Thinking (And Ducking)

They liked him.

But did they really?

Virgil had been thinking the entire day, and refused to come out for breakfast. He didn’t want to face them right now, he was too far and too deep into his thoughts. No matter how much the others would try to get him out of his room, he would just ignore them. Luckily he locked his door the night before so the others couldn't make their way into his room so easily.

Virgil sat against his headboard, still in his pajamas, staring down at his hands. He was wearing the silver ring that he had been given back when he was with the other sides. It helped him think of a better moment. Some might argue that he already had a better moment while he was here, but because of what always happened during videos, he wasn't so sure. Maybe they really hated him as much as they said they did during videos and were just messing with him. It wouldn't be surprising, really.

He messed with the ring, twisting it around his finger, tilting his head to the side, resting it on his own shoulder. 

Did he really want to be around these guys? He wasn’t used to all the things going on suddenly. He didn’t like all the attention and affection, he never got a slow build up and it just made him a bit uncomfortable. Yeah, he liked the feeling but it was just...weird. Made him feel weird. But did he want to be around them?

 

_ “I fucking hate this!” Virgil shouted, grabbing at his bang and pulling harshly. He heard the noises of the others scolding or trying to comfort him, but he ignored it. He looked up and saw the blue scales running over the man’s eyes under his sunglasses.  _

_ “We know you hate this, but you need to learn to man up and not be a fucking pussy all the time!” He growled, baring his sharp teeth. “Why do you think ▓▓▓▓▓▓ and I keep hitting you? Man up.” _

_ “Fuck you!” He yelled. “Stop with those damn excused, we all know you just fucking hate me!” _

_ “Gee, I wonder why!” He said, rolling his snake eyes. _

_ “I hate being here with you assholes!” Virgil yelled, reiterating his other thoughts. _

_ “Then fucking leave! None of us want you here anyways!” The other shouted. _

 

Yes.

Did he need to be around these guys? Maybe for his own safety, they were a bit better than the others, but other than that, he really didn’t. Did he really need to be around them?

 

_ “I’m so sorry, kid.” Remy muttered, holding Virgil in his arms as he sobbed. “Come on, let’s get that wicked cut cleaned up.” Remy went to stand up, but Virgil tightened his grip, forcing him to stay down. “Come on, it might get infected. You know how much that’s gonna suck.” _

_ “Please, I didn’t mean it!” Virgil cried. _

_ “I know you didn’t, but we need to get you cleaned up, okay?” Remy tried bargaining. “▓▓▓▓▓’s rings really fucked you up.” _

_ “I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Virgil repeated. _

_ “Virgil, it’s okay, you’re with me now. It’s Remy, you’re with me.” He needed to calm Virgil down before he passed out. He took quite the beating. “Come on, come with me, I’ll get you to your room.” _

_ “Promise?” _

_ “I’ll have to clean out the wounds while we’re up there, but yes, I promise.” Remy nodded, trying to stand up again, Virgil coming with him this time. “Good, come on, let’s go. Dee is probably worried sick.” _

 

So maybe.

Did he deserve to be around them?

 

_ “You don’t deserve shit.” _

 

No.

He didn’t.

He really didn’t. He felt like he deserved every bad thing the other sides did to him, and now that that wasn’t happening, it didn’t feel right. He didn’t feel right. He hated to admit it, but he wanted to be hurt again.

He wanted the pain, he wanted the yelling, he wanted the moments where he felt nobody was gonna help him.

This wasn't a new feeling, either. When he was with one of the sides, they always comforted him after these events, but Virgil would always say he didn’t have to do it, because he didn’t want him to do it somewhat. Of course, he loved the attention and hated when it left, but he liked feeling pain, it helped remind him he was real. It reminded him what he was. Useless to Thomas. Lying wasn’t important to Thomas’ survival, pain wasn’t important, being prideful wasn’t, liking attention wasn’t, being sad wasn’t part of his survival, none of the fucking sides were important for him!

He needed to leave. That was it, he needed to leave Thomas, maybe just stay in his room for as long as he could. 

Yeah.

That would work.

That would work.

That. Would. Work.


	25. Good Things

“You pressure him into getting out of bed!”

“You’re the tinglyness after achieving something he didn’t think was possible!”

“I could benefit from trying to understand you better!”

“I’m lucky to have you the way that I do!

“You’re what pushes Thomas to rehearse and rehearse before performance, you are that nervousness he feels right before going on stage, but right as he does...you ease up. You let his excitement and passion for performing take over.”

“You make us better.”

They liked him.

They actually liked him.

They really did like him.

It seemed like a lie, but it was true.

Virgil slowly sunk out with the others and once they were back in the mindscape, he suddenly felt Patton practically tackle him into a hug. “Woah, hey!” He said, nervously hugging Patton back. He looked up to Roman and Logan who were both smiling and laughing a bit. “Uh, thanks?” He said, a bit confused.

Patton laughed and pulled away, smiling wide. “I’m sorry, I just really want to hug you during that entire video!” He said, holding his hands together in front of him, tapping his feet together excitedly. “God, Virgil, right?” Virgil nodded. “I’m sorry, I just really wanted to hug you! Fourth wall wouldn’t let me!”

Virgil chuckled. “That was really sudden, but it’s cool.” He paused for a moment. “I’m really sorry for doing all that.”

“Virgil, you aren’t in trouble or anything.” Roman assured, walking up and throwing an arm around him. Virgil almost flinched but repressed it, grinning a bit up at Roman. “If anything, i’m sorry for the ways I’ve been treating you, honestly. No way a prince should act.”

“Let’s watch a movie or something!” Patton suggested. “That would probably help us all wind down a bit!”

“That sounds like a good idea. We’re still a bit stressed from what all happened.” Logan said, walking over to the couch and sitting down. “Not Saturday, but it works.”

“Can I make something for us all to eat while we watch the movies?” Patton asked. Roman and Logan both nodded and Patton clapped his hands together, smiling wide again. “Hey, Virge, do you wanna help, kiddo?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Sure thing.” Virgil shrugged, pulling Roman’s arm off of him. Roman begrudgingly accepted and sat down next to Logan on the couch. “What do you wanna make?” He asked, walking over into the kitchen with Patton.

“I’m thinking...cookies, maybe?” Patton said, looking to Virgil for a response. He nodded, smiling a bit. “What kind?”

“Chocolate chip or nothing, obviously.” Virgil said somewhat sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Who are you, oatmeal raisin are the best.” Logan said.

“Who are  _ you?! _ ” Virgil practically shrieked. “Oatmeal raisin are made of lies and oats!” he complained, opening one of the cabinets and finding the cookie mix, only it was so high up he couldn’t reach it. “Uh, Patton? Think you can reach that or do we need Roman?” He asked, looking to Patton.

“I think we might need--”

“Screw it.” Virgil muttered, jumping onto the counter and grabbing the mix, hopping down so casually like it was nothing. He noticed the strange looks from all of the others. “What? Do you guys never do that?” He asked.

“We aren’t gremlins, Virgil.” Roman said, looking so confused. “Patton usually just gets us to help him, what possessed you to do that?” He asked.

Virgil shrugged. “I just do that a lot.” He said. “I’m so used to being short, I just don’t give a shi--” He paused, noticing Patton’s paternal glare. “...Crap.” Patton smiled and nodded, taking the mix form his hands.

 

“So, I have good things? In me?” Virgil asked.

“More likely than you would think.” Roman muttered.

Currently, Virgil was sitting at the side of a giant cuddle pile, arms wrapped around Roman. He had to be honest, part of him wanted to be in the middle of it, but he wasn’t sure if he could really ask for that. That would make things a bit awkward.

“Do you all really think that I’m good?” Virgil mumbled against Roman’s shoulder.

“Of course we do, kiddo!” Patton exclaimed, laying his head across Logan’s lap. He sat up for a second and looked over to Virgil. “Do I need to make a list?”

“Go ahead.” Virgil said, rolling his eyes.

“Alright then.” Patton said.

“Wait, what?”

“First of all, you’re really important to Thomas’ survival as a natural instinct.” Patton started. “You’re a really important part of a human.”

“You help motivate Thomas to do things he needs to.” Logan added on.

“Wait, I--”

“You are exceptionally good at putting on eyeshadow, I’ll admit.” Roman said, chuckling. “You help Thomas figure out his lines before performances.”

“You have about as much brain as me, which is a nice change.” Logan said, making Patton punch him in the shoulder. “I’m kidding! But you are very smart.”

“No...” Virgil groaned, extending the word and burying his face into his hands in embarrassment. So many compliments at once.

“Aww, don’t be embarrassed, Virgil!” Roman said, wrapping an arm around him. “We’ve only just started!” He chuckled, ruffling his hand that wasn’t around Virgil through his hair.

“Stop!” Virgil said, grabbing a the hand. “You’re messing up my bangs!” He groaned, prying Roman’s hand away.

“Not until you accept you are wonderful!” Roman exclaimed, using his other hand.

“Okay, fine! I’m great, okay?” Virgil said, pulling of his other hand, pushing it back against Roman’s chest. “Now, will you stop?”

“He might.” Patton said. “But I won’t.” he said, reaching over Logan and ruffling his hands through Virgil’s hair.

“No!” He said, ducking down and laying on Logan’s lap. “Help me, Logan!” Logan chuckled and put his hands into Virgil’s hair as well. “Betrayal!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know, this is when LAMP starts getting more involved, aka virgil joins the relationship within the next like five chapters


	26. Making Adjustments

Everything was going smoothly. The changes were slowly happening at a pace that Virgil was okay with, and the attention he was getting felt nice. He still didn’t feel like he really deserved it, but being treated like a good person sure did feel good.

One of the changes, the others were nicer to him.

Roman’s snarky comments stopped being so venomous, and he made less joking insults. Of course, sometimes Virgil missed the playful back and forth, but he was absolutely fine with not being insulted, even if they were jokes.

They were also a bit nicer to each other, even if they seemed like they couldn’t get any closer. Logan didn’t insult anyone’s intelligence as a joke, Roman stopped giving them the playful nicknames (though he did hear Patton say he missed them dearly) and Patton...kept doing what he was doing, Patton was wonderful if you asked any of the sides.

Another change, they started touching him more.

And not in a bad way, it was more just fleeting touches and hands on his shoulders that quickly left. He always tried to lean back into the touch but it was always gone before he could. He didn’t really mind it, he wasn’t starved for it or anything. It was just a more noticeable change.

Virgil also noticed the amount of times the others were touching each other a bit more. Usually when Patton needed someone to stop for a second, he would just hold his hand up, but now he was actually holding onto their shoulders. Roman would involve touching the others in some of his jokes. Logan was touching the others a bit more, too. It was interesting to see.

Another change was that Virgil actually started opening up to them more in a less casual way.

It surprised him at first how comfortable he was starting to feel around them. It wasn’t a bad thing, it just felt weird. Felt like he was vulnerable. But he knew damn well they wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. They put on a whole two part video to get him back, after all.

He didn’t open up so much so that he would show them his scars or anything, but he had opened up to them more about his experiences with the other sides, leaving out some details because the others might freak out. He was starting to realize just how terrible his experiences with the other sides was, something he never really thought much about. He thought Remy and these guys were just...weird. He thought for so long that that was what a family was. People who would rather hurt you than themselves. But that wasn’t true. 

 

“Hey.” Virgil mumbled out, rubbing the tiredness out of his eye with his palm. He looked up and noticed it was just Roman cooking this time. Roman looked over his shoulder to Virgil and smiled, waving slightly. “What’cha making?” He asked, sitting down in his usual chair.

“Waffles, it’s almost all I know how to make.” He said, shrugging. “Patton’s a much better cook than I am.” He turned back to Virgil. “You cook anything, Hollywood Undead?”

“One, Danny Murillo is fucking hot as hell.” He said, holding out one finger. “Two, no, last time I cooked something I burned the shit out of it.”

“You sure swear a lot when Patton isn’t around.” Roman observed.

“Well, he yells at me if I do.” Virgil shrugged. He heard footsteps and looked over. “Speak of the Devil.”

“Hey guys!” Patton said. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Hollywood Undead and cooking.” Virgil shrugged, pulling out his phone. Patton came up behind him and snatched the phone out of his hands. “Hey!”

“No phones at the table.” He said, smiling. Virgil got up and walked up to Patton, going to take his phone back, but Patton held it over his head.

“Not fair, you’re like two inches taller than me!” Virgil said.

“I will bust out the ruler and test that theory, don’t think I won’t.” Patton said, almost threateningly. “Promise not to use the phone while we’re all eating?” Virgil nodded. “Good boy.” he said, giving him back his phone.

“Don’t call me that.” Virgil muttered, face slightly flushed as he went back and sat at his spot, turning his phone on and looking through his notifications. He heard Patton and Roman talking while they finished up making the food. Virgil just so happened to look up just in time to see Roman give Patton a a small kiss.

“Well then.” He turned over and saw Logan at the bottom of the staircase. “Did you two...forget that Virgil was there?” He asked.

Patton and Roman quickly realized their mistake and pretty much froze. 

“Whoops.” Roman muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story has absolutely no update schedule i just write when i feel like it i wrote this at 3AM


	27. An Owed Explanation

Family meeting as it had seemed to be. They were all sitting in their respective seats, and Logan looked like he was about to start lecturing someone. Romand and Patton were obviously a bit embarrassed, or maybe just a bit nervous (Logan was kind of scary).

“So, I'm sure as Patton and Roman have displayed, you've noticed some...romantic tension between us three.” Logan started, waiting for Virgil to respond before he continued. Virgil simply nodded and waited for more. “Well, to put it simply, Patton, Roman and I are all in a polyamorous relationship.”

“So you're all dating each other?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 

Logan and Roman gave him confused looks. “We didn’t know how you’d react.” Roman said. “I mean, it seems a bit weird for one part of your personality to date another part.”

“You guys, I was dating a side for maybe...eight years? I’m not sure the specifics, but trust me, I really don’t care that you guys are.” Virgil said, smiling softly. “I assured you, if I cared that much, I would tell you guys.” No he wouldn’t, but he liked to think that he would.

“You were dating a side?” Patton asked. 

“You didn’t figure it out?” Logan said, looking over to Patton. “I mean, Steven straight out said it.”

“I thought he was joking.” He muttered. 

Virgil chuckled. “Where do you think I got the necklace?” He asked, pulling the necklace out from under his shirt. “But yeah, I was dating a side, and I really don’t mind the fact you guys are dating.”

“You’re sure?” Roman asked. Virgil nodded. “Okay, but if we ever make you uncomfortable, just tell us, okay?” He nodded again. “And you’re under no obligation to join the relationship, Virgil.”

“...And what if I want to?” Virgil asked after a moment of silence.

“Then you can come talk to us about it.” Patton answered. “We wouldn’t mind, trust me on that.”

“Are you saying that you’d be willing if I wanted to?” Virgil asked.

Patton looked at Roman and Logan who both nodded, letting Patton nod in return. “Yeah, we’d be willing.”

“You’re not just saying that to avoid being rude, right?” He wasn’t gonna ask to join the relationship, he was 90% sure about that (or was he really? He didn’t know). But he wanted to make sure.

“Of course not.” Roman said, smiling. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve picked up on a few things, right?”

Virgil bit his cheek. “Are you confirming you have a crush on me? Because Remy already told me a while back.”

“God-- Remy needs to learn what secret means.” Roman muttered. “But yeah, I’m confirming that for me, but Logan and Patton need to confirm for themselves.” Virgil was confused, and looked towards Logan, who flushed slightly.

“Yes, I have identified romantic feelings for you.” He said, looking back to Virgil.

“I will admit, I like you as well.” Patton said, smiling softly. “But you don’t have to like us back, trust me.” He reassured.

“I don’t...I don’t know.” Virgil said. “I’d have to think it over a bit. I don’t know, I mean, you’re all really great and I would love to...try it out, but I don’t know if I can at where I am right now.”

“That’s fine.” Roman said, smiling as well. “We can let you think about it now if you want. Afterall, breakfast might be really awkward after this.”

Virgil chuckled. “You mind if I bring my food upstairs with me?”

“Go ahead.” Roman said. Virgil nodded and stood up from his chair. “Tell us if you come to a conclusion, okay?” He asked.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a short chapter, sorry about that, i just wanted to include Virgil's thinking in the next one! hope you guys dont mind a shorter chapter!


	28. Love?

Virgil sat in his room, not even really eating his food, more of just staring at it and only occasionally eating it. His mind was caught up in the idea of the other sides. Thank god he wasn't weird for dating another side back then. He chuckled to himself before the realization hit him like a freight train.

  
The other sides liked him and would want him to join the relationship.

  
He had to admit, he had grown a liking to all of them.

  
Patton, he was a kind goofball who you just couldn't not adore. He was easily the one Virgil could totally love. He was always so nice to him and so understanding. He listened when you needed to, and encouraged you to get things off your chest. It was nice.

  
Logan, he was most analytical and serious, but under that shell was just a nerd who loved space and his boyfriends. He was always there to offer hard facts when you needed them and was willing to help in his own little ways.

  
And then Roman. The over dramatic and theatrical Roman. Who couldn't love him? He was happy to love on you when you wanted it and happy to give you help when you needed it, he'll, he would kill a dragon for you.  
It should be the easy choice to join.

  
But...

  
...He wasn’t over Deceit.

  
He hated to admit that. He hated to think it. He wanted so badly to be over his past relationship, he wanted to forget about it and move on. Deceit wasn’t abusive, so he shouldn’t be dwelling on it, right? That’s how it worked, wasn’t it? He should be over this by now.

  
It was a simple thing that happened, really.

  
Deceit and Virgil had been dating for the longest time, maybe eight years. A few year after Virgil was created, and it stopped a few years before Virgil got kicked out. The relationship started out smoothly with Virgil working up the courage to confess and Deceit happily returning said feelings.

  
They had a nice relationship, except for the fact they had to keep it secret. If the other sides knew, they would never hear the end of it.

  
They kept it secret for almost the entire time until they were caught sleeping in the same bed and one of the other sides had used it as blackmail against them. They broke it off, agreeing that it wasn't safe to be in this relationship anymore. God knows what the other sides might do.

  
They broke it off, and then things went downhill. Virgil wasn't used to being treated like they were never dating in the first place aside from awkward encounters and the knowing looks. He kind of went off the wall from there, getting angrier and angrier about the most random things. He didn't know how to handle the emotions and they all came out in the form of rage.

  
Then they kicked him out.

  
He needed to move on.

  
Maybe trying out a new relationship would help him move on?

  
Yeah, that could work.

  
Maybe he should try it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter whoops! I'm bad at internal monologues sorry!  
> Also, important thing: deceit will not be toxic or abusive in this story in any of the times he's mentioned, trust me on that. This story is pro sympathetic deceit!  
> Hope that doesn't turn you off of this story lol! Love you all platonically for enjoying this!


	29. Negotiation

The next day. Virgil wasn't fully sure if he wanted to walk down the stairs and meet with the others, but he did it anyways. He had made his choice here. He walked down the stairs, already seeing Logan making something in the kitchen.

“Uh, hey.” Virgil said, waving. Logan looked up and smiled at him. “I made a decision.”

Logan raised his eyebrows, still smiling. “That's good, but we should wait for the others before discussing it.” Virgil nodded and sat down at his usual spot. “I'm making some toast and eggs if you want some.”

“Sure, just put some jelly on my toast.” He said, and Logan nodded as well. Virgil stared down at the table, thinking about the way he could phrase what he was going to say. He was pulled out of his thoughts by footsteps down the stairs and Logan putting a plate of food in front of him. “Thanks.” Virgil muttered.

“Hey, Virge.” Patton greeted, smiling a bit nervously. Virgil nodded a greeting towards him and went back to looking down at his food, taking one of the pieces of toast and biting into it. Logan handed Patton a plate and he took his seat as well, shifting a bit uncomfortably.

“You alright there, Pat?” Logan asked. Patton quickly looked up like he wasn’t expecting the question.

“Yeah, just kind of jittery right now.” He shrugged. “I’ll live.” Logan nodded, seeming like he didn’t believe it. Virgil didn’t believe it at all, really. He knew anxiety when he saw it, hell, it was his purpose. But he didn’t wanna push anything. If Patton wanted to talk about it, he would talk. He just nodded a bit and went back to eating, and after a few minutes Roman came down and sat down as well.

“So, uh, Virgil.” Logan said, breaking the silence. “You said you had an answer, right? To the topic we brought up yesterday?”

Virgil looked up and nodded, sitting back up straight. “Yeah, yeah, I do.” He sighed, smiling slightly. “I was thinking that, y’know, it’s about time I moved on from my past relationship. And you’re all really wonderful, and I honestly wouldn’t mind getting involved in this relationship.”

Roman raised his eyebrows. “So, you want to join?”

“Yeah, I do.” He replied, smiling a bit more. “I’m guessing you guys are okay with that?”   
“Of course!” Patton said, grinning, looking a lot less nervous than earlier. “I mean, we did ask you.”

Virgil chuckled. “Yeah.” He rolled his eyes at himself for asking such a dumb question. “So, how exactly does this kind of thing work? I’ve never really looked into polyamory or anything.”

“Well, we’re all just in a relationship with each other. I’m in a relationship with both Patton, Logan, and now by an extension, you.” Roman started. “While they’re both involved with each other as well.”

Virgil nodded. “Would it make any of you jealous or something?”   
“Well, if it does, we always talk it out.” Logan said. “Communication is important.” Virgil nodded again. “So, you wish to be with each of us, not just one specific side or two specific ones?”

“I mean, yeah, I really like all of you.” Virgil said. “I dunno if it’d be fair to just date one when I like all of you, too.”

“Alright.” Roman nodded. “Do you have, like, any boundaries you’d want to set? Like things you’re not okay with?”

Virgil paused for a moment. “Nothing really comes to mind, aside from not making me take my jacket off or anything. I’ll let you know if I’m uncomfortable with anything.” He made a ‘hmm’ noise like he was thinking. “I also don’t want to, like, treat on of you guys better than the other, as to not make it seem like I’m picking favorites.”

“It really wouldn’t bother us if you did something with one of us and not the other. Especially since we all have different wishes form relationships.” Logan explained. “But, I can understand the whole picking favorites thing. But with that, would it be a strange subject to ask something like who would be the first one to kiss you or something?”

Virgil thought for a moment. He didn’t really want to pick one person first over the other. “I mean, it would kind of get me anxious and think that you’d hate me for choosing someone else first.” He said. “But if you’re all okay with it, that’d be fine.”

“I’m gonna assume you’re fine with kissing based off that response, right?” Patton asked, and Virgil nodded. “Okay, just making sure.”

“Other than the obvious stuff, I really don’t have many boundaries. Just don’t touch me when I’m not in the mood to be touched, and don’t try to make me do things I don’t wanna.”

“That’s reasonable.” Logan said. He paused for a minute, as if looking for the right words. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you?” He asked.

Virgil laughed a bit and nodded. “Go ahead.” Logan nodded, standing up and walking over to Virgil, giving him a quick kiss that made him blush. 

“Can I join this?” Roman asked, standing up. Virgil rolled his eyes and nodded again, letting Roman walk around the table, pausing when Patton stood up as well, and walking over, giving Virgil a bit of a longer kiss. Roman chuckled when he noticed how flushed Virgil’s face was. “You’re adorable.” He muttered, making Virgil whine in disagreement.

Patton walked up beside Virgil. “Can I?” He asked. Virgil nodded again and Patton kissed him as well. “You sure blush easily.” Patton observed, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, crying: i just,,,,want them to be happy,,,,,,,,,,,blease i beg of you,,,  
> also me, holding a bloody knife: ANGST SOON TO COME IN CHAPTER 34 :D  
> me, screaming: PLEASE NO  
> also me: THERE ARE 31 MORE CHAPTERS, BUDDY, I HOPE YOU LIKE THE ANGST COMING BEFORE CHAPTER 60  
> me: PLEASE


	30. Picani

It had been a few days after the negotiation. Things had been going smoothly and the affection between the others and Virgil started to grow, and he realized just how much he really liked them. Which was a lot.

“Hey, Virgil.” Roman said, pushing the door to his room open. He noticed Virgil on the bed with his laptop and smiled at him. “You remember the Emile guy we talked about?” He asked. Virgil paused before nodding, a bit confused. “Well.” He walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. “Emile is a relationship therapist and he wants us to talk with him. Including you.”

“Why?” Virgil asked, shutting his laptop. 

“Well, adding a new person to a relationship is a big thing.” Roman explained. “Plus, the kids have been talking about you to him. He really wants to meet you now.” 

“So I have to go?” Virgil asked.

“No, but it would be nice if you did.” Roman shrugged. Virgil sighed and nodded, standing up from his bed and letting Roman guide him downstairs and the first thing Virgil saw was Logan and Patton sitting at the couch, and someone standing in front of them, holding a pen and clipboard. The three glanced over and smiled when they saw Virgil.

“You must be Virgil!” The unidentified one said, possibly Emile.  “Do you how do?” He asked, extending a hand.

Virgil blinked. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” 

“Don't mind his weird talking, he just does that.” Logan said, rolling his eyes.

“Uh, right.” Virgil muttered, sitting down next to Patton and letting Roman sit on the other side of him. “So, what's all this for?” He asked.

“Well, I occasionally visit the sides just to check up on them and see if they need to talk about something, and Patton has said that you've been through a few things, is that correct?” Virgil nodded slowly. “Well, you can talk about that and any concerns you have with joining the relationship. Remember, no judgment here.”

Virgil nodded again. “So, you just want me to open up for a bit?” He asked, pulling his legs up and crossing them so he was sitting crisscross. 

“Well, opening up is only one part of therapy.” Emile said, shrugging. “So, you can open up and we can all help talk you through these things.” He clicked the pen a few times. “Let's start out with this relationship. Is there anything you wanna talk about on that front?”

Virgil paused for a moment before sighing. “Yeah, actually.” He muttered. He felt like all eyes were on him, and technically they were and he really didn't like it. “The last relationship I was in kind of ended abruptly and in a bad way, so I'm really worried about this relationship ending randomly.”

“What happened in your last relationship?” Emile asked.

“Well, we had to keep the relationship secret but it kind of got exposed. And we had to break it off because of that so bad things didn't happen.” 

“What kind of bad things would've happened?”

“Uh, the sides I was with were kind of...assholes--”

“Language.” Patton muttered.

“--and they would usually yell at or hurt us for random things, and we didn't want to give them a good reason. So we tried to keep it secret before it got exposed. And we tried to play it off like we never dated and it, uh...affected me. Badly.”

“How so?”

“Well, I started getting really angry all the time and was generally acting like a terrible person, constantly yelling about how I wanted to leave and that kind of thing.” 

Emile nodded, and wrote another thing down on his clipboard. Had he been writing down all he had said? It felt weird opening up so quickly, but it was a good weird. He was talking about his problems with people he trusted around him and he was talking to a…professional?

“So, the break up caused you to lash out on others.” Emile said, summarizing what Virgil had said. “Is it because you didn't know how to deal with what was happening?” Virgil nodded. “And did anything happen because of that lashing out?”

Virgil nodded again. “I got sent here.” He glanced up to look around at the others, who were watching him calm and expectantly. 

“Is that a good thing to come out of this?” Emile asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

 

The rest of the session went somewhere along the lines of that exchange, just with different issues and different answers and responses, and a lot of the other sides were talking during it. They brought up a lot of things, and Virgil managed to open up a bit more.

One thing that Emile had said stuck out to Virgil, though.

“Virgil, it’s less like your story is just starting. It’s more that you’re in the middle of that story, and this is a much happier chapter.”

While Virgil hated being pessimistic, happy chapters usually meant something bad was coming. He didn’t want more bad things happening, the things that happened in the past were enough for him. But if he was gonna be completely honest, he couldn’t think of a bad thing that might happen in the future except for a break up. He didn’t see that happening, and he didn’t see it being a bad one either. The sides he was with now were...nice. They communicated pleasantly, and knew how to make everything seem okay.

And everything was okay. At least for now it was. And Virgil was greatful for that.


	31. Starved for Affection

Virgil didn't realize just how much he missed romantic affection until the others started giving it to him. He might not be starved for touch, but holy shit did he want affection so badly.

All four of them were on the couch for movie night, all laying on each other in a nice cuddle pile, which felt so damn good to be a part of. Virgil was in the middle and was calmly watching the movie, before he started humming the lyrics to a song, noticing the others looking at him as he did. Once he got to the chorus, he actually started singing it. But not before Roman said something.

“Are you seriously singing--”

“ _ At the end of the world! Or the last thing I see, you are never coming home, never coming home!”  _  Virgil sang, making Patton laugh and Logan scoff.

“Oh, get your emo shit out of here!” Roman exclaimed, jokingly.

“Language!” Patton said.

“ _ If I fall… _ ” He paused, reached over to Roman and shoved him off the couch. “ _ Down. _ ”

“You--!” Roman stuttered, still lying on the ground, propping himself up on his elbows. “You dare attack the son of Odin?!” Virgil burst into laughter along with Patton, and they both sat there, smiling as Roman stood back up and sat down on the couch again, crossing his arms and pouting. “At least sing a different song.” Roman complained. “That one is sad.”

“Fine-- wait.” Virgil paused, looking over to Roman, who looked a bit confused. “You know the song?”

“Okay, so I’ve listened to a bit of MCR in my day, what’s your point?” Roman said, holding his hands up in defense. “Sing the one song.”

“What one song?” Virgil asked. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Sweater Weather.” He said as if it were obvious. “You're emo, you should know this.”

“Okay, but it's not like it's _ the _ song, it's just a song.” He argued. “Whatever, I'll sing.”

 

“ _ All I am _

_ Is a man. _

_ I want the world _

_ In my hands. _

_ I hate the beach, _

_ But I stand _

_ In California with my toes in the sand. _

_ Use the sleeves of my sweater, _

_ Let's have an adventure. _

_ Head in the clouds, but my gravity’s centered. _

_ Touch my neck and I’ll touch yours. _

_ You and those little high waisted shorts.” _

 

“That's gay.” Roman interrupted.

“I thought the song was about a girl.” Patton said. “Is it not?”

“No, the song is about a girl.” Virgil answered. “Roman is just stupid.”

“Hey!”

“I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you have a nice voice.” Logan said. Virgil muttered something that sounded like a disagreement. “You do!”

“Sing the song!” Patton said. “The one love song!”

“Alright.” Virgil shrugged, knowing exactly what song he meant. 

 

_ “Wise men say _

_ ‘Only fools rush in.’ _

_ But I can't help _

_ Falling in love _

_ With  _

_ You. _

_ Oh, take my hand. _

_ Take my whole life too. _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you. _

_ Like a river flows _

_ Surely to the sea, _

_ Darling, so we go _

_ Some things _

_ Are meant to be.” _

 

“Virgil, that's really gay.” Roman joked.

“Never said I was singing it about you.” Virgil countered. Roman made an offended noise and Patton and Logan laughed. 

“It was about me.” Logan said, laying across Virgil’s lap. Virgil almost jumped, but managed to stop himself. He wasn't exactly used to so much affection.

“Yeah.” 

“Wait, really?” Logan asked. 

Virgil just shrugged. “it was about all of you, really.”

“Awwww.” Patton muttered, running a hand through Virgil’s hair. Virgil suppressed a flinch when the action first happened, and slowly leaned in to the touch. “That's gay.”

“Can I admit that I'm not used to all the affection I'm being given right now?” Virgil asked. “Because yeah.”

“Do you want us to stop?” Logan asked, looking a bit confused but concerned. Virgil paused for a moment. Did he?

“No.”


	32. Purple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does joking about the daddy kink require a warning? I think it should, so be careful

Virgil didn’t like this, oh no, he did not like this one bit.

He had been with Thomas the entire process of dying his hair, voicing his concerns and doing his job. It took a day for the dye to start to affect the sides and start showing up. Virgil had stayed in his room when it started to show more, and groaned every single time he walked past a reflective surface and saw himself. He did have an idea of how to make it look a bit better, maybe a new outfit? But that was a bit out there.

He barely knocked on the closet door before Remy popped the door open. “Wassup, fucker!” Remy shouted, walking in, sporting his new purple hair.

“Jesus Christ, Remy.” Virgil muttered. “I’m guessing you like the hair?”

“Hell yeah I do, kid!” Remy exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Look at you! You look awesome!” He said, his feet tapping together excitedly.

Virgil scoffed. “Right.” 

“You really do!” Remy assured. “Don’t be so modest, Vee. Looks good on you.” He said, reaching his hand up and ruffling Virgil’s hair, making him groan and pull Remy’s hand away.

“Well, I don’t exactly like it.” He muttered, crossing his arms. “I was thinking it might look better with a different outfit than the one I normally wear.”

“Are you asking me to help you pick one out?” Remy asked.

“Essentially, yeah.” Virgil shrugged. “So, wanna help?”

“Obviously!” Remy exclaimed. “Sorry, I’m a bit over excited right now.” He said, flushing slightly.

“No need, let’s just work on this, alright?” Virgil asked, smiling. Remy nodded and turned back to the closet, pulling it open.

 

“Is Virgil gonna come out of his room any time soon?” Roman asked, seeming slightly nervous.

“Give him some time, Thomas changing his hair caused a bit of anxiety.” Logan reassured. “I’m sure there’s nothing wrong, but if he’s not here by the video Thomas planned, we’ll investigate.”

“But that’s so far from now!” Patton groaned, pouting slightly.

“It’s literally tomorrow, Patton.” Logan said.

“But that feels like forever.” He argued, lying back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling. “Can I go check on him at least?”

“Changing hair color is a big change, Patton.” Roman said, sounding a bit unsure of himself. “I’m sure he’s fine, but if not, we’ll go find him, okay?” Patton sighed and nodded. “Good.” Roman said, walking over and giving Patton a quick kiss. “If you wanna go knock on his door or something before then, go ahead.”

“Maybe later.” Patton muttered. “So, Logan.” he said, looking back up and across the table to Logan, who looked up from his book. “What’cha reading?”

Logan paused for a moment, looking between his book and Patton. “A very strange book, if I do say myself.” He said. “It’s called ‘Lolita’.”

“Oh god.” Roman muttered. “Isn’t that the book about the pedophile?”

“Yes, but the story was made to show what was allowed on children’s bookshelves. It had no swearing, so it was eagerly put up there and then regarded as a classic romantic novel.” Logan explained, putting the book down in front of him. “It was quite controversial.”

“I mean, I can imagine, it’s about pedophilia.” Roman said.

“Well--actually, yes. It really is.” Logan shrugged, cracking his neck with a loud pop. Patton and Roman both flinched and Logan laughed. “That was a good one! I felt that in my spine.”

“You’re gross.” Roman said.

“Says the one with a humiliation kink--” Logan was cut off by Roman screeching and then saying ‘shut up’, making both Logan and Patton laugh. “You can’t even deny it!”

“I can’t and I hate it!” Roman growled. “Well, I’m not the grossest one here, I mean, you’re into being choked.”

“Okay, now you need to shut up!” Logan yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Roman. 

“I like how you’re not involving me in this argument because I don’t have gross kinks like you guys.” Patton said. He would quickly regret that, as both Logan and Roman glanced to each other before chuckling. He was very confused until Roman leaned close to his ear and whispered.

“Daddy.”

“I will actually hurt you!” Patton shouted, practically jumping when he heard that forbidden word. Roman and Logan both started laughing and Patton jokingly pushed Roman away by his shoulder. “That was not funny!”

“Yeah it was!” Logan argued, still laughing a bit. “Come on, just tell us you have a daddy kink, we’ll accept you either way!” He joked, making his voice sound calm and accepting to add to it.

“I don’t have a daddy kink!” Patton said, raising his hands in defense. “It would be nice if this inside joke ended!”

“It’s not gonna end, daddy.” Roman taunted, raising an eyebrow.

“I make one mistake about that word and I can never live it down!” Patton yelled.

“Now you know how I feel about infinitesimal!” Logan yelled back and Roman just laughed at the exchange. “It doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

“I hate both of you!”

 

“Hey, how about this jacket?” Remy suggested, pulling out a jacket from his closet. It was a good jacket, it had a patchwork design and sew marks on it, which was honestly kind of edgy. “I think it’d look nice with the current outfit, y’know, instead of the old jacket.”

Virgil shrugged. “Might be a bit flashy, I don’t know.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” Remy said, pointing a threatening finger at him. “Nothing is too flashy to me.”

“Is that why you’re wearing fingerless gloves?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Okay, fingerless gloves aren’t lame!” Remy exclaimed, pulling off his sunglasses and wiping them down on his shirt.

“Never said they were.” Virgil smiled. “In fact, I would add them to this outfit. Especially with that jacket.”

“I can lend you my second pair.” Remy said. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “I’m serious, I will do that.” He said, putting his sunglasses back on. “Y’know, your room is the only room here with a brightness level I can tolerate.” He muttered.

Virgil chuckled. “Alright, give me the gloves, and I’ll wear the jacket.”

Remy took the leather gloves off his hand and tossed them to Virgil. “I prefer my other pair, so don’t worry.” Virgil nodded and put the gloves on, grabbing the jacket from in his closet. “Okay, you already look good, to be honest.”

“You’re gay.” Virgil muttered, putting the jacket on.

“Hell fucking yeah I am.” Remy said happily. “Kid, you look awesome!” He exclaimed, looking Virgil up and down.

“Thanks, Rem.” Virgil muttered, flushing slightly. “Honestly, if I had sunglasses and a leather jacket, I would look like you.”

“Bitch, you don’t have the strangeness and charm that I do.” Remy said, gesturing to himself. 

“Was that...Florence and the Machine?”

“It was a song title, yes.” Virgil gave him a look. “You know I love indie bands and the weird ass music nobody can decipher.”

“I thought your music taste was just Lana Del Rey’s ‘You Can Be The Boss’ on repeat.” Virgil joked.

“I mean, it is, but still.” Remy chuckled. “Plus, I don’t wear ripped skinny jeans.”

“You’re wearing ripped jeans literally right now.”

“Different thing.”

“Wha-- No it’s not!”


	33. Logan Doesn’t Get Surreal Memes And Patton Downs A Bottle Of Whiskey (by Fall Out Boy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a fucking joke

“I don’t get it.” Logan said simply.

“That‘s the point.” Virgil explained. “It’s supposed to confuse you and make you a bit frightened.”

“That’s a horrible point to a joke.” Logan muttered, going back to his book. “I hate how humor has evolved.”

“Is that why you hate me saying ‘mood’?” He asked.

“Absolutely.” Logan said. “A cactus can not be a ‘mood’.”

“That’s what they want you to think.” Virgil said.

“What the fuck.” Logan whispered. Virgil started laughing at the confused face Logan had made. “What do surreal memes even mean!”

“They don’t mean anything!” Virgil said. “That’s what makes them funny!” He said, scrolling through his phone again. “Here, how can you not laugh at the phrase ‘look mom, all hands’?”

“I-- Because it doesn’t make any sense!” Logan shouted. “Why is it so funny to you?”

“Because it doesn’t make any rational sense!” He tried explaining again.

“I hate it so much.” He shook his head, looking down at his book, and sighing when Virgil rolled his eyes and laid down, resting his head in his lap. “You’re lucky you’re pretty, or I would probably lecture you on just how annoying those jokes are.”

“Don’t lecture me! Lecture Roman, he showed me them first.” Virgil said, pointing towards the kitchen where Roman and Patton were.

“What?” Roman asked, before realizing what Virgil had said. “No, you showed me surreal memes!” Virgil made a loud shushing noise, making Logan groaned. “Don’t try to pin this on me!”

Patton rolled his eyes. “You guys are so weird.” He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle. “Do you guys know what this is? I still can’t figure it out, the label is ripped off.”

Roman’s eyes widened. “Yeah, no. Don’t drink that.” Patton paused for a moment before popping the cap off. “Don’t, seriously.”

“Why, what is it?” Patton asked.

“It looks like perfume.” Virgil observed.

“One way to find out.” Patton said, shrugging and starting to drink from the bottle. Roman’s jaw dropped and he didn’t even move out of how shocked he was. He just stared and after a moment, Patton pulled the drink away. “Yeah, that’s not perfume. It tastes like apples, it just burns your throat a bit.”

“Did--...” Roman didn’t even know what to say.

“Something wrong there, Roman?” Logan asked, glancing up from his book.

“Patton...did you just down an entire bottle of whiskey?” He asked, grabbing the bottle from his hands. He felt how empty it was and covered his mouth with his free hand. “Oh my god.”

“Why, is there something wrong?” Patton asked, genuinely confused.

“This house is a fucking nightmare!” Virgil shouted.


	34. Reminiscing

 

Patton had been acting strange lately, more than he did usually. After the two part video, it was evident what was bugging him. After the video, they all had surrounded him with as much love as they could, and Patton was still wearing the cat hoodie (plus they played with the dogs for a bit). They decided to make sure that Patton would never get too sad to retreat to his room for a long time. Of course, they still needed to give him time to heal, so that should be  _ easy _ .

Virgil was in his room, cleaning up his desk a bit when he came across something reminiscent himself.

A purple leather notebook.

He felt his breath stop for a moment when he saw it, and he just stood there staring at it for a moment. He slowly reached out and picked it up. The texture was, well, leathery and rough. He ran his nails against the front cover like he had done so many times in the past when he was anxious (hah). He sighed and unwrapped the string that kept it closed, and opened the notebook.

He read the front cover, noting the cursive handwriting in purple ink.

“ _ Property of Virgil Sanders” _

He smiled. Under it was a few notes, things like “my notebook” and “youre gay”. He chuckled slightly when he saw them and remembered the times they were written down. A few doodles of stars and things were around the name, and Virgil wasn’t even sure if it was him that did it or not, but he didn’t mind either way.

He flipped through the pages, seeing some entries, a couple drawings and some writings all done in different colors each paragraph. He remembered almost all of them.

He went to the first page, seeing a nice doodle he had made when he first got it. He didn’t have a plan in mind when making it of who it would be, and it was just a girl in a dress. Was a good drawing, too. Virgil was really proud of that one. He flipped to the next page and red the small notes written down. Why did he have notes in cursive in his notebook, why were they in yellow ink, when did he do--

Oh.

Right.

He sighed and read the words, them sounding like a random conversation, but just one side of it. That would make sense, considering Virgil was the only one talking out loud during that conversation. The other person couldn’t exactly do that so easily.

_ This was how many of their conversations went. Both of them got tired of the lying and Deceit would either bite his tongue or he would write down what he wanted to say. One was less painful than the other, and it was easy to tell which. _

_ Virgil was simply speaking his side of the conversation, pausing and letting Deceit write down his part. It was a lot easier than deciphering the lies. _

_ “Sometimes I wish I never had to lie.” Deceit wrote down.  _

_ “But it’s your job.” Virgil said. _

_ “Never wanted it to be. I do it anyways, though.” _

_ “Well, I never really wanted to be Anxiety, either.” _

_ “But at least we got to meet each other, right?” _

_ “Yeah, that’s one good thing to come out of being here.” Virgil shuddered. “The rest is pretty shitty. _

 

Virgil flipped to the next page, seeing another drawing. He used to draw a lot before…

 

_ The side growled at him, taking the notebook out of his hands, holding it over his head. “Would you pay attention to me?!” They yelled. _

_ “Give it back!” Virgil said, standing up and reaching up to grab his notebook. The side just stood up straight and made sure he couldn’t reach it. Damn being short. “I’m serious!” _

_ “What, what’ll you do if I don’t?” They asked, turning away and opening the notebook to a random page, tearing out the paper, tossing the notebook onto the couch. “Let’s see, a shitty drawing, huh?” _

_ “Dude!” He yelled, looking over his shoulder at the drawing. It was a drawing Virgil was really proud of, and wanted to keep.  _

_ The side scoffed and crumpled to paper, throwing it in the trash. “You need to learn to listen to me more, or I might just set that notebook on fire.” _

_ A few days later, they almost followed through with that threat, pulling out a lighter and trying to grab the notebook out of Virgil’s hands. Virgil almost cried but he promised to listen, just don’t destroy anything. He wanted to keep the gift as long as he could. _

 

He didn’t want to remember those days. He shook his head to rid himself of the memory. He had stopped drawing so that they couldn’t destroy it if they felt like doing that. He still knew which page the picture was torn out of, and he flipped to it, noticing green ink on the page after it.

“ _ Asshole.” _

Ah, how humorous. He scoffed and turned to a different page. An entry. Some words were crossed or blocked out so he couldn’t read them, which kind of annoyed him. But he read anyways.

 

_ “Maybe there’s a reason ▓▓▓▓▓ yells at me so much, aside from the fact he’s the fight part of the fight or flight response. I guess we go against each other because of the fight or flight. One or the other, and we don’t know which is best for Thomas. But I still don’t understand why ▓▓▓▓▓▓ does too. Maybe he just wants to fit in or impress him. I don’t know why either way. All I know is I probably deserve it.” _

 

Oh, the paragraphs he wrote when he was in the mood for self loathing. Luckily, since he was with the new sides, he didn’t exactly have those moods much anymore. He wanted to read another one of those.

 

“ _ Blood is strangely pretty. I don’t know why it is, but I like looking at it. Especially when it’s my own.” _

 

“Virgil?” He heard a voice call from out his door. He closed the notebook and put it back down, walking over to the door and opening it. “Hey. You doing okay? You look a bit shaken up.” Roman said.

“I’m fine.”


	35. Not Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is me trying to depict a healthy sexual relationship and communication despite never being in a sexual relationship and being under the legal age of consent in my state. fun!  
> this chapter is about sex and communication, so if sex is a gross topic for you, go ahead and skip this one, or practice self care while reading! stay safe!

Virgil wasn't exactly so sure how it all started. One minute they were just chilling out on Roman’s bed watching a Disney movie, and the next Roman was initiating a quite heated kiss. 

Virgil kissed back, letting it happen, and Roman brought his hands up to cup his jaw, and suddenly he moved to straddle his lap, biting down on his bottom lip. Virgil let out a small whine that he might call embarrassing, but at the moment he didn't care.

Roman brought his kisses down to his jaw, and down his neck. Virgil hummed a bit, letting out a gasp when Roman bit down on a spot on his neck, making his legs twitch a bit, and his hips buck upwards involuntarily. Virgil was about to apologize to him, but Roman returned the gesture, grinding his hips downwards and making Virgil moan. A lovely sound, if you asked Roman. He pulled away from his neck and looked down at Virgil.

Virgil had thrown his head to side, his eyes screwed shut and his lips pressed together tightly. Roman tilted his head to the side for a moment, noticing how Virgil slowly opened an eye and looked up at him a bit nervously.

“Are you okay with this?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yes.”

Roman could hear the hesitation in his voice. “Are you sure?” He asked. He didn’t want to do anything to make Virgil uncomfortable.

“...No.”

“Do you want to stop?” He asked.

“Please.”

That was all Roman needed to hear to get off of Virgil and let him sit up. “I’m sorry, I just--” Virgil started but Roman cut him off.

“No reason to be sorry, you’re fine.” Roman assured him, wrapping an arm around Virgil. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” He sighed. “I don’t know if I’m really ready for that kind of thing again.” Virgil explained. Roman nodded. “Can we just, like, cuddle for a bit?”

“Alright.” He said, pulling Virgil a bit closer. “Do you wanna talk about something?”

“I just…I don’t know. I haven’t done that kind of thing in a long time and I’m afraid to try again after so long.” Virgil explained. “I don’t want anyone jealous either.”

“What do you mean?” Roman asked.

“I mean…” He paused for a moment. “I’ve never been in a poly relationship and I don’t want to, like, make someone jealous that you got to me first.”

“So, if we did this, you’d want it to be between all four of us?” He said, tilting his head.

“I guess.” Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know, I just don’t want anyone to be jealous.”

“I’m sure we won’t be jealous, but if you want me to talk to the others about it, that’d be find.” Roman said. Virgil nodded, making a humming noise, pulling his knees up to his chest. “Don’t feel guilty about it, if you do. I really should have asked about it before.”

“No, it’s not that.” He said. “I just don’t know how they’ll react.”

“They’ll be fine with it. You worry too much.” Roman said, pulling and Virgil so he was resting against his chest.

“In the name, Ro.” Virgil sighed, looking back to the TV screen. “Kind of my purpose to worry.”

“True.” Roman muttered. “Do you think all of us should have some kind of discussion about this kind of thing?” He asked. Virgil shrugged. “Like, discuss hard limits and things we enjoy more.”

“So, like a discussion about kinks and turn offs?” Virgil asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why are we discussing this while watching a Disney movie?” Roman laughed and shrugged. “Whatever, but yeah, we can do that, as long as nobody judges me for my kinks.”

“I’m almost 100% sure nobody will make fun of your kinks, I have the weirdest ones, don’t worry.” Roman assured.

“Yeah, I think I might beat you on that front.” Virgil muttered, cracking his neck.

“Why do you and Logan both do that!?” Roman yelped when Virgil did that. Virgil laughed, and Roman made a noise of disgust. “It’s so gross!”

“Not as gross as me.”

“Oh, shut your emo mouth, My Darkest Days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for more angst next chapter ;D


	36. Christmas (Reprise)

Christmas.

It was often a bad time for Virgil, but after the last one, he was feeling pretty good about going into this year. He had prepared for the worst possible scenario, and was ready to face Christmas again.

Though something was bothering him.

It was after the video, which was a very interesting one at that, and they were all in the common room, three of them exchanging jokes and laughing, talking about the secret santa. Virgil was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring at the door in the room. He didn’t even notice someone coming up behind him.

“Is something wrong, Virgil?” Patton asked, putting a hand on his shoulder that he flinched away from. Everyone turned to him and gave a confused look.

Virgil took a deep breath, pulling away from the counter and turning to Patton, arms crossed over his chest and hugging himself. “A few weeks ago was the anniversary of me being kicked out.”

A tense silence fell over the room.

“I was so scared. I thought they were gonna take me back. That’s why I was in my room all day.” He looked back up to Patton. “I didn't want to leave.”

“Virgil…” 

“They said they would take me back at some point. I really don’t want that to happen.” Virgil kept talking. “If they do take me back, it’s probably all gonna be ten times worse than it was last time.”

“Virgil, if they do try to take you back, they’re gonna have to get through us.” Roman said, walking over. “Trust me, we don’t want you to leave just as much.”

“But what if we can’t stop them from it? They’ll probably hurt you if you try to keep me back.” Virgil said. “I don’t want that either. If they take me back, it’s a lose lose situation no matter what.”

“Well, there’s no use dwelling on an event that hasn’t happened yet, right?” Logan said, sitting down at the kitchen table in the chair closest to where Virgil was standing. “We can prepare for the future, but we can’t spend all of our time being scared about it.”

“I know, it’s just...hard to not think on it.” He sighed. “I’m just being stupid again, I shouldn’t be afraid of this right now, especially on Christmas.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, but some things are best forgotten about for a while.” Roman said, holding a hand out that Virgil hesitantly took. “Let’s forget about it for a bit, okay? We can worry about it later.”

Virgil smiled. “Okay.”

“Let’s watch Nightmare Before Christmas, how about that?” Patton suggested. 

“Alright.”

 

“Hey, Pat?” Virgil asked, somewhere near the end of the movie. He was laying against Patton’s chest on the couch, resting his legs over Logan and Roman’s laps. Patton made a ‘hm’ noise and looked down at him. “You've been acting kind of strange lately. Everything alright?”

Patton sighed. “I’ve been nervous about something, and I’m not sure what, but I’ll be fine.” He said. “I made a deal and my end of the bargain is coming up.”

“What was the deal?” Logan asked. “Who was it with?”

“Ah, can’t say.” Patton said, chuckling. “Though you might figure it out pretty quickly. Once my end has been finished.”

“Well, is it a good deal?” Virgil asked. “Are you getting something good out of it?”

Patton smiled softly. “More time.” The other three gave him a confused look. “That part might be harder to figure out, but I’m sure you all will.”

“You’re being very cryptic.” Logan said. “That’s Virgil’s job. What are you up to?”

Patton paused for a moment. “You all know I love you, right?”

“Are you, like, dying or something?” Roman asked. “You sound like you’re about to die.”

“I just don’t want you guys to hate me for it.” Patton said. “I’m doing the deal for a good reason.”

“What is this reason?” Virgil asked. “You’re acting really creepy. Who was the deal with?”

“I can’t say, like I said.” Patton said. “I would love to tell you all, I really would, but I don’t think I can.” He sighed. “I love you all, I really do. So don’t hate me when you figure out the deal, okay? Promise?”

Everyone exchanged glances before talking.

“Promise.”

“Promise.”

“Promise.”

Patton smiled wider. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee :) Patton :) sure :) is :) acting :) strange :) huh? :) wonder :) what :) that :) deal :) was :) and :) who :) with :) maybe :) you'll :) find :) out :) in :) chapter :) 39 :)


	37. Scar Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter talks about self harm, suicide attempts, and just scars in general! Don't read, or just practice self care before, during, and after reading. Stay safe!

It was hard for Virgil to notice at first, but when he did, it was more hard to ignore.

Logan had scars. A lot of them.

Patton had scars, but mostly random bruises.

Roman talked about having scars but never showed them off before.

Then there was Virgil, with many scars. Probably more than Logan did.

“Do...do we all just have...random scars?” Virgil asked during the movie night.

“I mean, all of them either came from things here in the mindscape or from Thomas.” Logan explained, eyes still locked on the screen. “Why?”   
“I dunno, I’ve just seen your guys’ scars a couple times and I was wondering if you wanted to show them off and talk about them maybe?” He said. “I mean, I could show you guys mine too.”

“You really want to?” Roman asked.

“Would help me be less insecure about them.” Virgil said, shrugging. “Plus, I’m curious.” 

“Alright.” Logan shrugged. “We can do that Wanna go one by one or no?” Virgil shrugged. “Let's just go one by one. Who wants to start?”

“I can.” Roman said. “Though I'll have to take my shirt off for that.”

“That's cool.” Virgil said, pausing for a moment. “Don’t strip though, that’s gay.”

“Shut up.” Roman rolled his eyes, pulling the t-shirt he was wearing over his head, revealing three large scars across his chest. “You guys already know I fight a lot of things in the imagination.”

“Jesus, those are some wicked scars.” Virgil muttered. “You, like, have battles like you did in the Valentine’s video?” He asked.

“Yep.” Roman nodded. “I think the scars are pretty cool, but they sometimes make people worried.”

“Yeah, like me when you came home bleeding.” Patton scoffed. “That really scared me, Ro.”

“It was pretty frightening.” Logan agreed.

“Well, I did try to hide it from you guys so nobody freaked out.” Roman shrugged. “But I did kind of fail at that, didn’t I?”

“Hey, at least you didn’t lose an arm or anything.” Virgil said. “Scars are way cooler than stumps, right?” Roman chuckled and nodded. “Got any others?”

“Well, a few on my arms from the same reasons, but other than that, no.” He said. “Who wants to go next?” He asked, balling his shirt up and putting it in his lap.

“I can go.” Patton said. “I don’t have many scars, but I do have a lot of random bruises from running into things.” He said, pulling up his sleeve to show off a large bruise on his shoulder. “Not sure where that one came from, though.”

“Damn.” Virgil muttered, ignoring Patton’s scolding about his language. “So, you must bruise pretty easily.” Patton nodded. “I can relate.”

“Do you wanna go next, Virgil?” Logan asked.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “I don’t know, the stories behind them are really sad and lame.”

“We won’t judge you.” Roman assured.

He sighed. “Alright. Taking off my jacket sucks for me, though.” He said, pulling the jacket off his arms and rolling up his sleeves. A lot of scars, some deeper than others, littered his arms at different stages of healing. “Most of these are, uh...self-inflicted.”

Everyone was silent for a moment before Patton spoke up. “Do they all have different reasons for being there?” He asked.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, like this one is from being blackmailed.” He pointed to a scar going across the back of his hand. “Some are obviously more noticeable than others.”

“What about, uh, this one?” Logan asked, pointing out the large one running down the length of his forearm, right in the middle. It looked like it was old, but it was still a pink color, and it looked like it had been really deep at the time.

“Uh, attempt number two I think.” Virgil said. He felt a bit more confident talking about them with people he trusted.

“Attempt at what?” Patton asked. Everyone gave him a look and his eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, but I’m doing a lot better.” He sighed, going to pull his sleeves back down when Patton stopped him.

“Would you be okay with keeping your sleeves up?” He asked. Virgil gave him a confused look. “I just...I like seeing reminders that people are alive.” That got to Virgil. Scars were reminders he was alive. Patton liked to see them to remind him that Virgil was alive and well now. Virgil bit his lip and nodded.

“You got anymore scars?” Roman asked, breaking the small silence.

“I got scales.” Virgil shrugged.

“You have scales?” Logan asked. “Didn’t you say you didn’t?”

“I was lying.” He said casually. “Do you guys wanna see them?” He asked.

“Hell yeah.” Roman nodded. Virgil pulled his sleeves back down before pulling his shirt off over his shoulders.

“They’re on my back, which is fun.” He said, turning a bit for the others to see them.

“Woah.” Patton whispered. “Those are...really pretty.” He said.

“Thanks.” Virgil said, moving back to laying into the sofa crease. “Remy says the same thing. Even when they shed and look ugly, they’re pretty to him.”

“Oh, they shed?” Logan asked. Virgil nodded. “That’s interesting.”

“I, like, wanna touch them.” Roman admit.

“I mean, go ahead, it feels nice. To me, at least.” He shrugged. Roman put an arm around him and touched his scales, which made Virgil relax a bit. 

“They feel weird.” He said.

“They’re scales, of course they do.” Logan scoffed. “I guess that’s it?”

“I mean, I have some on my legs, but I’m not taking my pants off.” He said. “So, your turn.”

“Oh, well, I just have random scars. I scar and bruise easily. Not sure where half of them come from, but a lot of them come from Thomas being clumsy.” Logan explained. “None are really worth showing off. Though, I do have some on my fingers, all of them from paper cuts.”

“Lame.” Virgil said jokingly.

“Oh, shut up.”


	38. Ready Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter HEAVILY implies sex. like seriously, but it's all implied and referenced.  
> Also! Thomas, Joan and Talyn all appear in this! I'm not good at writing real people because it's real people yknow? But this will be a one time thing in this story, so ignore my god awful irl people writing

“Hey, Virgil.” Patton said, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

Virgil chuckled. “Hey, Pat.” He muttered, still looking down at his phone.

“Can I ask you something, darling?” Patton asked in that kind voice Virgil loved. He nodded and Patton paused before speaking. “I know it didn't go well with Roman, but I was wondering if maybe…you'd be willing to try again with us?” He asked. 

Virgil froze a bit, thinking. He already knew that he was talking about sex, that was a given. Did he want to try again right now? Yeah, he wanted to try again, but at this exact moment? Well, he wasn’t doing anything anyways.

“...Yeah, yeah, I’d be fine with that.” Virgil answered.

“You sure?” Patton asked, wanting to make sure.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He assured, holding onto one of Patton's hands. “Do we have ground rules?”

“Safe word is red. This is gonna be a regular kind of thing, no out of the ordinary actions this time around.” Patton said. “Though, we've established all our kinks if you wanna do this again.” Virgil nodded and Patton smiled. “Let us know if you wanna stop.” He muttered, bringing his lips down to Virgil’s neck and biting down gently, making Virgil suck in a breath.

 

“Uh, Thomas?” Talyn asked, trying their best not to laugh. Thomas glanced up and made a noise of question. “What’s with that bruise on your neck?” They said, started to let a few laughs out.

“What?” Thomas asked, face contorting in confusion. “What bruise?”

Joan joined in on the laughing. “Dude, that looks...really inappropriate, the hell did you do?”

“What are you guys talking about?!” Thomas asked, throwing his arms out. Talyn reached into their bag and pulled out a small makeup mirror, handing it to Thomas, who opened it and gasped when he saw his neck. “What the heck?” He muttered, reaching his hand to press down on it, muttering a small ‘ow.’

“Okay, so you don’t know where that came from?” Joan asked, still smiling. “Either it’s a very randomly placed random bruise or it’s one of those sides doing.”

“Let’s ask them.” Talyn suggested.

Thomas sighed. “You two just love seeing those guys.” The two paused before nodding. Thomas rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Logan!”

Logan quickly zipped up in the middle of the room. “Oh, hello Thomas. Hello Talyn, hello Joan.” He said, waving slightly. “What have you called me in for?” He asked, looking between the three, eyes locking on the bruise, but not mentioning it.

“To help explain this.” Thomas said, pointing at where the bruise was. Logan bit his bottom lip. “Do you have any idea of where this came from?”

“Oh, I have an idea, alright.” Logan said through grit teeth, quickly holding a hand up to his mouth. “I mean…”

“Can you explain?” Thomas asked. “Or should I call in Roman or Patton or Virgil?” Logan’s eyes widened at the mention of Virgil. “I’m gonna call in Roman. Roman!” He yelled, holding his hand out, making both Roman and Patton appear, looking like they were talking at the time. 

“Oh, what’s up you guys?” Roman asked, grinning.

“Thomas, what happened to your neck?” Patton asked.

“I was gonna ask you two.” Thomas said. “Do you know what all happened here?”

Roman sucked in a breath through his teeth, making a somewhat loud noise, glancing between Logan and Patton. Logan just shook his head at the two of them and Patton nodded, just shrugging when he looked back to Thomas.

“Okay...I’ll call in Virgil.” He went to raise his hand but was quickly stopped.

“No!” All three of the sides yelled simultaneously. Thomas gave Joan and Talyn a confused look which they both returned. Thomas held his hand up and all three of the sides made noises of disagreement and disapproval.

“Virgil!” He shouted, his had still held up. In came Virgil who was clearly shocked by Thomas calling him in. He was almost the exact same, except for the bruises practically covering his neck with a dark purple. “Oh wow.” Thomas said casually.

“Uh…Hey...Thomas...Thomas’ friends.” He said, holding up finger guns. “What’s up, what’s up?” He asked, obviously flushed and nervous.

“What’s up with you?” Joan asked, crossing their arms though a smile was on their face. “Sure looks like you got ran over or something.”

“What’s your excuse?” Talyn asked.

When nobody replied, Roman slowly brought his hands up to the shrugging position. “We gay.” He whispered, making pretty much everyone burst into laughter. Patton punched his shoulder and he held up his hands in a more defensive position. “It’s only true!”

“So, you all are dating each other?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Roman nodded. “And little ol’ Virgil over here just so happened to be our latest victim.” He said, clapping his hands together.

“Roman!” Virgil shouted, his voice cracking. The others laughed and Virgil growled. “I’ll fight you!”

“You are a noodle!” Roman shouted back.

“I’ll still fight you!” He threatened, pointing a finger at Roman.

“Can I ask who was the main reason for the bruises?” Talyn asked. “Or hickeys, whichever term you prefer.”

“Oh, Patton was totally 90% of it.”

“Logan!” Patton shrieked. “Stop exposing us!”

“Roman exposed us first!”

“Still! Doesn’t make it any better!”


	39. Snake Eyes

Patton was acting...strange. More so than usual. He’d been acting a lot nicer to the others, and sounded a lot different, and sometimes, Virgil could swear he saw his eyes shift somehow. Like his pupils would change in his bright green eyes, turning to triangles then back to circles. It was kind of freaky and a bit terrifying. Virgil didn’t know what was happening, but he knew whatever it was was wrong...and the night before today, he had said “Goodbye” instead of ‘Goodnight.” It was terrifying to say the least.

And that this wasn’t Patton. That became the most evident when he tried to convince Thomas lying was good.

‘Patton’ gave a sigh. “Wow, I’m so proud of you, Thomas. You’re  _ so _ mature.”

Oh god.

Virgil knew that voice.

Please, God, no.

He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t prepared to face this again.

“Oh, I don’t know either, Thomas!  _ You might not like what you find… _ ”

Please say no.

Logan took his hand off from over his mouth, releasing his breath like he was holding it intensely. “Deceit!” He shouted, pointing accusingly at ‘Patton’.

The horrible noise of bone and muscle shifting and cracking could be heard and Virgil grit his teeth, not wanting to look over at what he knew was there. But he couldn’t help himself, and looked over, seeing Deceit staring right back at him. He held his breath, not exactly sure what was about to happen.

“Love the new outfit, Roman.”

Oh, there were those lovely lies.

“And Virgil.”

Fuck.

“I  _ adore _ the more intense eyeshadow. It  _ totally doesn't _ make you look like a raccoon.” He said, grinning while looking at him.

“Nice gloves.” Virgil said, glancing down at the glove covering his hands. “Did you just get done washing some dishes?”

“...Yes.”

 

They all sunk out while talking quietly. They made it to the common room and talked for a few more seconds, when Virgil saw Deceit sitting on the couch cross-legged and grinning. “Guys.” He said, still staring into the man’s multicolored eyes as he reached an arm out to tap on the shoulder of one of them. They--Roman--looked over and got the others’ attention.

“I think I  _ won't _ stay just a while longer.”

Roman paused for a moment, calculating the lie out in his head. “Why should you stay here?”

“Because I  _ don’t  _ have unfinished business.” Deceit said, shrugging. “Simple as that.”

Patton growled. “That wasn’t part of it.”

Deceit grinned wider, raising an eyebrow. “Do I care?”

“Part of what?” Roman asked. He looked over to Patton. “Pat, are you hiding something?”

“Virgil, do you--” Logan stopped talking when he noticed Virgil wasn’t there anymore. “...Know what this is about.” He finished despite nobody being able to accurately respond.

Virgil was sitting against the door, hand covering his mouth and breathing heavily. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He felt sick again. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, fuck. A knock on his door.

“Virgil?” That was Patton’s voice. Was he supposed to trust this? Maybe he should just in case. He slowly stood up, legs shaking and opened to door, seeing Patton there.

“That’s you, right?” He whispered

“Yes, It’s me, Virge.” Patton assured. “Breath with me, okay?” He asked, grabbing onto Virgil’s hand and pulling him closer, breathing slowly. Virgil did so and after a while, he felt a bit more calmed. “Come with me to my room, okay?” He said. He sighed as he pulled Virgil up and led him to his room, shutting the door behind him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have made a deal with him.”

Virgil froze. Suddenly, the fear was replaced with a feeling of anger. “You made a fucking deal with him?” He asked in a serious tone. He could see Patton start to get nervous. “Are you fucking crazy?” His voice almost trailed off into a nervous laugh.

“Virgil, can I explain the deal before you scold me?” Patton asked, sounding a lot more calm than he looked. Virgil sighed and nodded. “I was afraid that time around Christmas. I didn't want you going back, just as much as you didn't want to. So...I did something kind of stupid.”

“You think?”

“Please, let me finish.” Patton said. “I went to the dark sides common room, and I found Deceit. He agreed to convince them to give you more time here, quite a lot more time, if…” He trailed off, and when Virgil looked up, he looked almost like he was about to cry.

“If what?”

He sighed. “If he could have a talk with you. I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I didn't realize at the time how much this could affect you.” He said. “I should’ve thought more about what the others had done to you.”

“Patton, I need to admit something about Deceit.” Virgil said. “It's not that he was one of them who hurt me. Deceit and I used to date.”

“...Oh.”

“I'm not afraid of him, hell, I've seen him at his most vulnerable, but it's just that...I'm not ready to talk with him again.” He explained. “I’m sorry, I should be by now.”

“Virge, it’s okay to not be ready, I thought we went over that.” Patton said. “But...I don’t think he’s gonna leave until he can talk with you. I’m not sure what about, and I’m, once again, really really sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Virgil sighed. “You didn’t know.”

“No, I knew that the others were jerks, but I wasn’t thinking.” He said. “I should’ve thought more.” He muttered, giving VIrgil a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re okay.”


	40. An Overdue Conversation

 

Virgil didn’t come out of his room for a long while. It took a lot of coercion from the others to actually get him to at least open the door. Virgil wouldn’t admit it, but he was somewhat afraid. He didn’t know what Deceit was planning. He really did not want to go back with the ‘dark sides’, as Roman had called them. 

He sighed and walked down the hall and down the stairs, instantly wanting to go back up when he saw Deceit on the couch. But that plan was quickly abandoned when Deceit noticed him there, raising his eyebrows. Virgil sighed and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle. 

“So, you want to talk?” Virgil asked, looking over to him as he shut the fridge. Deceit nodded calmly. He was strangely calm, which just made his internal panicking even worse. “Well, I just talking might be difficult for you, considering.” He walked over to the couch, sitting on the opposite side from Deceit. “Do you wanna physically talk or do you need a pen and paper?”   
“I  _ have _ a pen and paper.” He said.

“I can let you use my phone, I guess.” Virgil suggested, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Deceit nodded and took the phone once he had opened the notes. “So, why did you want to talk?” Deceit started typing and then held the phone out to Virgil.

_ “Well, first off, Green and Orange want to let you know that you’re not gonna be here for too long. You’re gonna leave at some point.”  _ Once Virgil was done reading, Deceit pulled the phone back and typed another message out.  _ “Things have changed.” _

“What do you mean by that?” Virgil asked.

_ “The others don’t exactly like the fact you’re gone. Not that they miss you, but they miss having a living target.” _

“So?”

_ “They’ve moved on to hurting each other and me.” _

“They should hurt each other.” Virgil shrugged. “They need some sense knocked into them sometimes. But you?”

Deceit sighed and rolled up the sleeve on his not scale covered arm and revealed large scars across his arm, almost making stripes on his arm. Virgil muttered a small swear and his eyes widened.

“Jesus Christ.” He muttered. Deceit nodded and pulled his sleeve back up. “So if I go back there, things are gonna be worse for me?”

_ “I don’t know.” _

Virgil sighed. “Of course. That’s gonna be fun to figure out.” He paused for a moment, looking back up to Deceit. “So you just came to tell me this?”

_ “Not exactly.” _

“Then why did you come?” He asked, still extremely nervous.

_ “It’s stupid but if I’m gonna be honest (hah), I missed you.” _

“Like in general or?”

_ “In general.” _

Virgil took a breath. “I don’t think I can say the same.” Deceit went to type something else but Virgil interrupted him, taking the phone back. “I don’t have anything else to say to you. Except for asking why.”

“Why I  _ don’t  _ miss you?” Deceit asked.

“No, why you felt the need to come and talk with me. I actually had a panic attack because I was afraid of what you were gonna do.” He said truthfully. He didn’t have any more reasons to lie, did he? “I don’t understand what part of you thought it was okay to just pop back into my life like that after almost a year of being away from you guys.”

“Virgil--”

“No, it’s fine.” Virgil took a shaky breath as he felt tears start to well in his eyes. “Just...I don’t wanna talk anymore, okay? If you have more to say, do it tomorrow.” He said through his grit teeth, standing up. “I’ll see you around, Dee.” He walked away, bumping into someone while going up the stairs, but he couldn’t care less right now.


	41. I Don't Love You

_ “Well, when you go _

_ Don't ever think I’ll make you try to stay. _

_ And maybe when you get back _

_ I'll be off to find another way.” _

 

He was singing silently, and barely strumming the strings on the ukulele. He wasn’t even really trying, he just wanted to distract himself. He didn’t need to be thinking about this all. He just wanted to do something else.

He heard a knock on his door and gave a weak ‘yeah’ which let Logan open the door. “Hey.” Logan said, looking worried. “Everything alright?” Virgil nodded and put his ukulele down. “Do you want to come down to my room and talk?” He asked. He sighed and nodded, standing up and following Logan out of the room. Virgil groaned and laid down on Logan’s bed when they got to his room and Logan chuckled, sitting on the edge of it. “You want to talk? I’m not good at comfort, but I’m a good listener.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Virgil muttered. “It’s just...I can understand missing someone, but sometimes the person just doesn’t feel ready to talk. It’s not that I hate him or anything, I just don’t know how to deal with him at this point in time.” He sat up. “I just...I don’t know, I’m just not ready yet. It’s weird because it’s been so long since anything bad happened between us, and yet I’m not prepared or anything.”

“It’s okay to not feel ready.” Logan said. 

“I know, but it just doesn’t make sense.” He sighed, crossing his legs. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no reason to be sorry, Virgil.” He paused for a moment. “Do you wanna talk about what happened between you and Deceit?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, I can.”

 

Roman didn’t know what just happened, but all he knew was that Virgil had been almost crying and Deceit was watching him leave. And that now, Roman was pissed. “What the hell happened?” He asked, his tone a bit harsh, and he could’ve sworn he saw Deceit flinch, but he really didn’t care. He walked up to him and pulled him up by his collar, which made him growl slightly. “Listen to me, make him cry again and I’ll beat your sorry little ass into the broken home where you came from, you got me?”

Deceit looked afraid in quickly nodded, hands held up defensively. 

“Good.” He said, letting go of him, which let Deceit stumble back a bit. “Glad we got that covered.” He said, turning around and walking back up the stairs, letting out an anrgy breath. He didn’t bother looking back to see how he was reacting.

He made it up the stairs, and noticed that Virgil’s door was open, and he could hear talking coming from Logan’s. He knocked on Logan’s door. “Hello?” He called out.

“Come on in.” A voice replied.

Roman walked in and saw Logan and Virgil on the bed, Virgil laying against Logan’s chest as they were both leaning on the headboard. Virgil looked almost like he was sleeping, but he cracked open one of his eyes and held up a peace sign to Roman.

“Hey, you two.” He said simply. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, everything should be okay.” Logan nodded. “But we might need to separate Virgil and Deceit for a bit.”

“I’ve talked to Deceit. He probably won’t be bothering Virgil.” Roman said, nodding and shutting the door behind him. “You mind if I join in on this cuddling action?” He asked. In response, Virgil held his arm out and muttered something under his breath, closing both his eyes again. Roman chuckled and crawled onto the bed, sitting next to Logan and wrapping an arm around Virgil. “So, does Virgil wanna talk about what happened with him and Deceit?” He asked.

“He already did.” Logan answered. “Apparently Virgil and him were dating and had to break it off because of a side blackmailing them.”

“That sucks.” Roman muttered. “So, Deceit didn’t hurt him?”

“No, according to Virgil he would never do anythign like that.” He said.

“Thank god. If it were one of the other sides who had hurt Virgil coming here, they would not make it out in good shape.” He said.

“Don’t fight them, please.” Virgil mumbled. “They’re dangerous.”

“And I own a sword.” Roman said.   
“And Green will try to kill you.” He said, adjusting how he was laying down. “Just don’t, okay?”

“Green?” Logan asked.

“That’s what I call them. Green and Orange. They don’t like people saying their roles.” Virgil explained. “So I’m not going to.”

“I realize why you call them those names.” Roman muttered. “We have met them before, and they do match the colors.”

“They do.” Virgil nodded, his voice sounding a bit more tired. “Can I sleep here?”

“Go ahead.” Logan nodded.

It was silent for a bit longer until Virgil started to sing something under his breath.

 

_ “Well after all the time that you still owe, _

_ You’re still a god for nothing I don’t know. _

_ So take your gloves and get out. _

_ Better get out _

_ While you can. _

_ When you go _

_ Would you even turn to say _

_ ‘I don’t love you  _

_ Like I did yesterday’?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay after NEXT chapter it'll be all fluff  
> for a while


	42. Deathless Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this actually isnt that angsty like i wanted it to be  
> dang  
> but this does have heavy implication of sex, so watch out

 

Deceit was gone the next morning.

It’s not that Virgil wasn’t glad he was gone, it was more that...no he wasn’t glad he was gone. Part of him wanted him gone, but the rest of him, god, did it want him to stay for some reason. A voice in the back of his head was getting louder, telling him he shouldn’t have been a dick to Deceit, but he didn’t even think he was being a dick, even if the voice said so. But the voice kept getting louder.

He needed to get his damn mind off of this, he needed to be distracted, he needed to think of anything else, he needed, he needed, he needed--

He needed to be touched.

Yeah, being touched often distracted him from what was going on, he was always so distracted by the sensations that he couldn’t focus on anything but the feelings around him. He didn’t even care if the touch was good or bad, he just wanted touch. Maybe good touch would be better (and more healthy) but he honestly didn’t care anymore.

Speak of the devil, he heard someone knock on his door. “C-Come in.” He stuttered out. 

The door opened and Patton walked in. “Hey, kiddo.” He said, smiling a bit nervously. “You doin’ okay?” He asked, sitting down on the side of the bed Virgil was laying down on.

“Yeah, I’m…” He sighed.

Patton gave him a worried look and moved a bit closer to him so he was sitting next to him, and wrapped an arm around him. “Everything okay? You can talk to me.” He said, smiling softly.

Now or never, really.

He closed the gap between the two,pressing their lips together. Patton made a muffled surprised noise, but VIrgil kept going, pushing him down so Virgil was on top of Patton. It took a long moment before Patton suddenly pulled Virgil away.

“As much as I’m enjoying this, you’re obviously trying to run from something.” He said, looking a bit worried. “Virgil, can we talk before doing anything like this right now? I want to make sure you’re okay.” Virgil sighed and nodded, sitting back up and letting Patton get up as well. “Is everything okay? Be honest, alright?”

“It’s stupid.” He insisted as the two returned to the previous positions they were in with patton having an arm around Virgil. It made him flush a bit to think of what he had just done, but he really didn’t care. 

“None of your feelings are stupid.” Patton reassured. “Can you tell me?”

“I feel bad about something I shouldn’t feel bad about.” Virgil explained. “And I miss people I shouldn’t miss.”

“Be a bit more specific, please?” He asked, tilting his head a bit. “Is this about Deceit?”

“Yeah. I feel bad about treating him badly yesterday, even if it wasn’t really that bad.” Virgil said.

“Well, what did you do?” 

“I don’t know, I just didn’t want to talk with him yet.”

“And?”

“So I told him that, and just...left the conversation. I feel bad about that.” Virgil groaned, laying down on the bed and pulling Patton down with him, making Patton laugh a bit. “I feel bad for just ghosting the chat because I haven’t gotten over something that happened years ago.”

“Well, it’s okay to leave a situation that discomforting, kiddo.” Patton reassured. “You told him you were uncomfortable and left the situation, which was a good thing for you. There’s no reason to feel bad about it.”

“The thing is that I miss him and want to talk to him now.” Virgil said. “I had my chance, and now the chance is gone.”

“Then we can wait for the next chance, how about that?” Patton said, rolling over so he was on his side and looking at Virgil.

“But what if that never comes?” Virgil gave him a scared look.

“Then it doesn’t come. You don’t have anything you need to absolutely tell him, do you?” Patton asked. Virgil shook his head. “Then there’s nothing wrong with not talking to him. If you feel the absolute need to tell him, we’ll get him to come back, okay?”

Virgil sighed. “Okay.”

“Is that all that you had on your mind?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to mess around still?”

“Yep.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” Patton said, sitting back up. “But if you call me ‘daddy’, I will not hesitate to fight you.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sipping gatorade form a wine glass while in a bathroom sink wearing nothing but a binder, shorts, and thigh high rainbow socks* hope you guys like fluff because i have about *looks at drawn on watch on my wrist* 7 fluffy chapters straight (hah) planned out.


	43. Wall-E Is The Best Pixar Movie - You Can't Change My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! Next chapter will be longer, I promise! I just kind of lost motivation for this specific chapter, and almost scrapped it.

“Come on, we need to get cleaned up.” Patton said, knowing he probably wasn't convincing Virgil to get up at all. Virgil answered that thought by making a humming noise of disagreement. “Virgil.” Patton muttered, extending the name to emphasize it.

“Ugh, fine.” Virgil said, sitting up “My back fucking hurts now.” He mumbled, cracking his neck and making Patton flinch. 

“Yeah, well you scratched up mine, so I guess we're even.” Patton said, holding a hand out which Virgil took willingly, letting him pull him out of bed. “You're really cute when you're all blushy.” He commented, making Virgil scoff and roll his eyes. “You are!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Virgil muttered. 

“After this we can watch some kind of movie, how about that?” Patton asked.

“Can it be Wall-E? I love that movie.”

“Sure.”

 

The two were on the couch, Patton laying down on Virgil’s chest, listening to his breathing pattern. It was around halfway through the movie, when Virgil started talking.

“You ever think that something like Wall-E might happen to the real world?” Virgil asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Like, some kind of dystopian thing where the Earth’ll never be able to support life anymore?”

“Yes.” Patton muttered.

“You think it’s gonna happen soon?”

“Maybe not soon.” Patton said, adjusting how he was laying down. “But at some point. Humans were never meant to last on Earth, really. We ruin everything we touch.”

“And destroy everyone we love?” Virgil tried. When Patton gave him a confused look he sighed. “It’s a song reference, it wasn’t funny.”

“If I knew the song, maybe it would be.” Patton said. “But, yeah, humans won’t last much longer.” 

“We use up all the natural resources just for money, which was a sh- terrible concept by the governments of the world.” Virgil said. “Maybe we humans don’t deserve Earth.”

“We really don’t. If we put all the years we’ve been on here and condene it, we’d destroyed the Earth in, like, a span of twenty-four hours.”

“Are you sure you’re Patton?” Virgil joked. “You sure know a lot about this.”

“I am passionate about keeping the dogs alive on Earth.” Patton whispered seriously, making Virgil laugh. “If I’m honest, I want a cute robot like Wall-E. They’re cute.”

“Did Pixar ever establish that Eva was a girl and Wall-E was a boy, or was it just implied?” Virgil asked. Patton mande an ‘I don’t know’ noise. “Heck yeah, nonbinary robots.”


	44. The Prince And The Nerd

“If you feed an apple tree apple juice...is it cannibalism?” Roman asked, staring at the ceiling. He looked up, seeing Logan in the chair next to the couch he was one giving him a confused look.

“Roman…” Logan started, pausing for a long moment. “Are you high?”

Roman just laughed, pulling his legs up to his chest. “Nah, nah, I’m fine.” He sighed. “I’m just having a bit of a creators block. All that’s coming to my mind is just...weird thoughts.” He suddenly perked up.

“If you present me with a paradoxical situation, I will fight you when I stop shutting down--”

“If I’m creativity, did I technically create myself?”

“You son of a bi--” His words trailed of into a strange noise in the back of his throat, his eyes going completely blue with white binary code across them. Roman laughed as if it was the funniest thing he’d seen all day. Maybe it was. Logan quickly stopped and came back to reality. “I’m gonna jump you right now.

“Kinky.” Roman said, raising his eyebrows.

“No it’s not!” Logan growled, standing up and shaking his head as he crossed his arms. “You are the worst.”

“You love me.” Roman teased.

“Unfortunately.” Logan muttered, sitting down on the couch next to Roman.

“I really wanna sing a song right now.” He said. “Would you care if I did?” He asked, laying his head down on Logan’s shoulder.

“No. Which one?” He asked.

“Uh, something from the Tangled series.”

“‘Ready As I’ll Ever Be’. I don’t like music much, but that’s a good one.” Logan suggested.

“Alright.” Roman shrugged. He sat back up, looking over to Logan, who smiled slightly. “Any moment now, your highness.” He mocked in a nasally tone, making Logan chuckle.

 

_ “Believe me, I know. _

_ I’ve sunk pretty low. _

_ But whatever I’ve done you deserve.” _

 

“Varian.” Logan jokingly joined in with.

“Quiet!” Roman said suddenly, almost scaring logan, but he scoffed anyways and continued listening to Roman sing.

 

_ “I’m the bad guy, that’s fine! _

_ It’s no fault of mine, _

_ And justice at last will be served!” _

 

“Please, listen!” Logan said with fake desperation in his voice.

 

_ “Now, it’s time to step up _

_ Or it’s time to back down _

_ And there’s only one answer for me! _

_ And I’ll stand here and fight, because I know that I’m right. _

_ And I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready! _

_ Ready as I’ll ever be!” _

 

“Your voice fits Varian, honestly.” Logan commented.

“Aw, thank you.” Roman said, faking a flattered gesture, making Logan laugh. “Should I continue?”

“Go ahead.”

 

_ “Now it’s time to rise up _

_ Or it’s time to stand down, _

_ And the answer is easy to see. _

_ And I swear by the sword! _

_ If you’re in, get on board! _

_ Are you ready?” _

 

“I’m ready.” Logan said in his usual monotone tone.

“Oh, come on, you can sing better than that!” Roman said, pushing Logan’s shoulder. “Sing the Rapunzel part with me.”

Logan sighed. “Fine. Which one should I do?”

“Do Rapunzel’s.”

“Fine.”

 

_ “Are you quite sure we can do this?” _

_ “Together we will guarantee…” _

_ “I’ll make them hear me!” _

_ “I’ll make them trust me!” _

_ “I’ll save my home and family.” _

 

“Your voice is nice.” Roman complimented.

“No.” Logan rolled his eyes though his face flushed.

“Te iubesc.” Roman muttered, laying his head down on Logan’s lap.

“Romanian?” Logan asked. 

“Da.” Roman said, nodding somewhat.

“Alright. I can speak Romanian.” Logan said, cracking his neck and making Roman flinch somewhat. “Te iubesc mai mult decât pot descrie cuvintele.”

Roman flushed. “That’s...gay.” He whispered.

“You are a homosexual male, Roman!” Logan said, throwing his hands up. “Must you call every compliment I give you gay?”

“Da.”

“De ce te iubesc?” Logan sighed.

“Pentru că sunt frumoasă.” Roman smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell that   
> 1) i just finished the tangled series  
> 2) i don't speak romanian and used google translate  
> 3) i intended this chapter to be way longer but it looked longer in the document


	45. Experiments

“Have you ever wanted to, like, wear a skirt?” Patton asked, as all four of them were sitting on the couch. Logan gave him a confused look while the others responded.

“I have before.” Virgil said. “I actually own a couple.”

“I’ve worn a dress.” Roman said.

“Are we the only two who haven’t?” Logan asked. Virgil and Roman nodded. 

“Do we wanna fix that?” Patton asked.   
“I mean, I can lend you guys some.” Virgil suggested.

“...Okay!” 

 

“You were not kidding when you said you owned skirts.” Roman said, watching Virgil pull out some skirts from his closet as he stood at the door frame.

“Would I joke about this?” Virgil asked, glancing up at him, pausing his movements for a moment.

“...No?”

“Exactly.” Virgil said, going back to getting the clothes. “That should be it, really.” He said after a moment, looking at the skirts he laid out on his bed. He looked up to Roman, giving him a quick smile. “You wanna come and pick one out? Maybe choose the ones for the others?”

“Sure thing.” Roman shrugged, walking into the room. “It is fucking cold in here, dude.”

“Don’t let Patton hear you say that.” Virgil muttered, rolling his eyes. Roman chuckled. “Alright, but you might wanna do it quick before something bad happens.” He said, and Roman nodded. “I feel like you’re obviously gonna pick the red one, honestly.”

“Maybe I’ll surprise you. Just because you said that, really.” Roman said, making Virgil scoff. “But no, I intended on the red one, so ignore that.” He admit, grabbing the pleated red skirt that had a small rose design lining the bottom of it.

“Knew it.” Virgil whispered. “Do you wanna pick out the ones for the others?”

“Why do you even have so many skirts, just wondering?” Roman asked.

“I happen to enjoy wearing them.” Virgil shrugged. “They look nice and are fun to wear.”

“You just don’t seem like that type of person.” Roman said.

“And you do?”   
“I do, actually.” Roman nodded. “A lot of people say so.”

“They really do.” Virgil chuckled. “I’ve seen the online comments.”

“Some of them say it in a rude way, but they still say it.” Roman said. “I should probably get out of here before something goes wrong.” Virgil nodded. “Be in the common room, I guess.” He shrugged.

“Ooh, you look good!” Patton exclaimed when Roman walked down the staircase, making him laugh a bit. “That’s really pretty on you!”

“Why thank you.” Roman said, making a flattered hand gesture. “You’re right, Virgil, this is really fun to wear.” He said, stepping off the last step of the stairs.

“I told you.” Virgil said, grinning. “Looks nice. Shows off your legs nicely.”

Roman made a ‘pft’ noise. “That’s gay.”

“We  _ are _ gay.” Virgil said.

“Well, it does look fairly good on you, Roman.” Logan cut into the conversation with.

“I think it might look a bit better if you wore, like, knee high white socks with it.” Virgil suggested.

“That’s actually a good idea.” Roman whispered. “Surprising coming from you.”

“Rude!” Virgil yelled.

 

“Must I participate?” Logan asked, walking into Virgil’s room.

“I mean, not if you don’t want to.” Virgil shrugged. “But it would be cool if you did.”

Logan shrugged. “I guess it might be fun.” He said, looking at the skirts. “I do like this one, actually.” He said, pointing to a black circle skirt.

“Then try it on, it might be more fun than you expect.” Virgil said, smiling at him. “It really does feel nice to wear a skirt, trust me.”

“I’ll trust you.” Logan said, nodding.

 

Roman did a wolf whistle when Logan walked down the stairs, making Logan scoff. “Shut up.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“You look great!” Patton said, clapping his hands together. “It’s very pretty!”

“Thank you.” Logan said, smiling a bit as he made it off the staircase. “I think it looks nice. And it is quite nice to wear, as Virgil had said.”

“I told y’all!” Virgil said. “It’s fun!”

“It really is.” Roman agreed, sitting on the couch next to Virgil. “Hey, Patton, aren’t you next up now?” He asked.

“Oh, yeah I am!” Patton nodded. “It seems exciting!”

“Alright, then let’s go, Pat.” Virgil said, standing up.

 

“I like the idea of wearing a skirt, but I’ve never really had the chance to do it.” Patton explained, walking into the room.

“It’s really nice.” Virgil said. “Which do you wanna try on?” He asked.

Patton paused for a moment, looking over the array of skirts. “I like this one.” He said, pointing to a white tulle skirt. “Looks pretty!”

“Alright, try it on, then!” Virgil couldn’t help but smile at the smile on Patton’s face. “It’ll look really good on you, I just know it.”

Patton nodded, picking up the skirt. “Is it weird I’m excited about this?”

“Nope, it’s pretty normal, actually. I was excited the first time as well.” Virgil nodded. “Alright, go try it on, buddy.”

 

“I like it!” Patton exclaimed as he walked down the stairs.

“Nice!” Roman said, smiling.

“It looks cute.” Virgil said.

“Very nice.” Logan said.

“Thanks guys!” Patton said, grinning as he walked off the last step. “Virgil, do you wanna wear one as well?”

“Yeah, you’re the only one left out of us four!” Roman said, looking over to him. Virgil chuckled and shrugged. “Aw, come on!”

“It’s only fair.” Logan said.

“Fine.” Virgil rolled his eyes, still smiling. “I’ll be back.” He said, standing up and disappearing up the stairs. As soon as he was out of earshot, Roman turned to Patton.

“This is nice!” He said, grinning. 

“It is!” Patton said. “Don’t you think so, Logan?”

“I mean, it was a lot better than I expected.” Logan shrugged from his chair next to the couch. “It is nice, I’ll admit.”

“See?” Patton said. “We told you it was fun!”

“Yep.” Roman nodded, leaning forward, resting his hands on his exposed knees. “I think I look good.”

“The red of the skirt matches the white shirt well, and it matches with the red sash.” Logan said, nodding. “Patton, the blue and white does look very nice, if I do say so myself.”

“You know a bit about fashion, don’t you?” Roman asked.

“I know about the color theory, yeah.” Logan rolled his eyes.

“Y’all being nerds about the color theory again?” Virgil asked from the top of the staircase. He was wearing a black pleated skirt with two white lines running along the bottom, along with black knee-highs with the same two stripes at the top. He chuckled, walking down the stairs. 

“Woah, you look really good!” Patton complimented. “It matches your overall aesthetic well!”

“It looks very good in contrast to the purple.” Logan said, smiling.

“Damn.” Roman muttered.

“Language.” Patton scolded. “But I do agree.”

“Thanks, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love,,,,boys in skirts and i also like wearing skirts,,,if you're a masculine gender try on a skirt if it doesn't make you uncomfy,,,,you won't regret it it feels nice and liberating
> 
> also! i'm not gonna get much progress done tomorrow, as it is a holiday in my religion! summer solstice and all! day after that should have the next chapter unless I fail lol.


	46. Remy and Emile Finally Kiss, Jesus Christ

 

“Nerd.” Virgil muttered after Logan was finished with his rambling at breakfast.

“I’m just saying, it’s very interesting!” Logan defended himself with.

“It is, it’s just you seem to know too much about it.” Virgil said. “It just shows that you’re obviously a nerd.”

“We’ve known this, honey.” Roman chimed in with, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, yes, he’s a nerd, but we don’t all have to point it out all the time.” Patton said. “Anyways, It’s Saturday, so we need to choose the movie for tonight, remember?”

“Guinea Pig: Flowers of Flesh and Blood.” Virgil suggested, immediately getting a ‘no’ response from Logan and Roman. “Oh, come on! I’m joking!”

“You better be…” A voice said. They all looked over and saw Remy standing there at the door in the kitchen. “Jesus, I was planning on inviting the kids over for this movie night because they wanted to join.”

“Remy!” Patton exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“I just said, Emile and the kids wanted to join the movie night.” Remy explained. “So we’re not watching the Guinea Pig movies, Vee.”

“What are the Guinea Pig movies? Like G-Force?” Patton asked. “I don’t see why we can’t watch it.”

“G-Force we can watch. The snuff film movies that almost got a guy arrested we can not.” Roman said. “But enough of that. The kids are gonna come over and join movie night?”

“They want to, if you all don’t mind. Would you care?”

“No, that's totally fine!” Patton said. “Right guys?” he asked, turning to the others.The others nodded, Roman actually saying ‘yes’.

“Awesome. Do you mind if the kids hang around here before then?” Remy asked.

“Feel free.”

“Nice.”

 

“Hey, Remy, can I talk to you?” Virgil asked, pulling Remy to the side at the staircase. Remy nodded, before Virgil started whispering. “What’s up with you and Emile?” He asked.

Remy flushed. “What are you talking ab--”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you’ve been giving him that look all day.” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. Remy bit his lip, not answering when Virgil gasped. “Holy shit, do you like him?”

“Quiet the fuck down!” Remy whispered, pushing his shoulder. “Okay, so maybe I do!”

“Oh my god,for how long?” He asked.

“...Like a year now.” He said after a moment of silence.

“You kept it secret that long?” Virgil asked, genuinely surprised. “God, have you even told him anything yet?”

“Nope, and I don’t plan to.” Remy said. Virgil grinned at him evilly. “Don’t fucking tell him, I will kill you.”

Virgil groaned. “Fine, mom!” He paused for a moment, looking at him and grinning again. “Or should I say, Daddy?”

“No, no you shouldn’t!” Remy practically yelled, making a few of the people in the room turn with confused looks. Virgil just laughed. “I hate you.”

“You should, honestly.”

 

“I, like, wanna play a game.” Missy muttered, currently laying on the couch upside down with her head dangling off the side.

“What kind of game?” Pranks asked, not even looking up from his phone.

“Like some kind of party game. I don't know.” Missy said, throwing her arms up so they were laying off the couch as well. “Like truth or dare.”

“I'd play truth or dare.” Pranks said, looking up and around the room. “Anyone wanna join?” He asked, voice a bit louder now. “Need more than two players.”

“I’ll join!” Patton said. “You guys wanna join too?” He asked, looking back to the others.

“Sure.” Virgil said, shrugging and standing up. He looked back to the others at the table, who all stood up as well.

“Alright, come on over here, y’all.” Pranks said, hopping up onto the couch. Everyone walked over, sitting in a somewhat circle around the coffee table. “Who’s gonna start?” He asked, sitting up straight. 

“I’ll do it!” Patton volunteered. “Virgil.” He said, turning to him. “Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” He said, shrugging.

“Why did you learn ukulele?” 

“I don't know, I just really wanted to.” Virgil explained. “Not a very exciting story.” He sighed. “My turn, right? If so, Remy. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Remy said without thinking.

“I dare you to kiss Emile.” Virgil said, grinning.

He froze for a minute before he smiled. “Is that even a challenge?” Remy asked, rolling his eyes and taking off his sunglasses. He seemed confident even though he was extremely flushed.

“Wha-” Emile was quickly cut off by Remy pulling his into a kiss. It took a moment for Remy to pull away, putting his sunglasses back on and leaning back into his spot, looking down at the ground, trying to avoid Emile’s look of surprise. His next words caught him off guard, though. “...We need to do that more often.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i am so tired i literally just woke up and decided to post this chapter  
> (ignore any spelling errors, most of it was corrected by autocorrect)  
> god, my note to my future kids: dont fucking write a chapter of something for your side account then sleep for like 3 minutes, wake up and finish another chapter at fucking 13 am


	47. This Chapter Has A Dog

_ “My bedroom smells like rotten food, and I guess so do I. _

_ It’s harder to be good in here than it is to starve and die. _

_ I’d give my body to satan, if I could only keep my soul _

_ But I can't seem to find the split between them anymore. _

_ My hair is falling out again, and I don’t really care. _

_ I try to stir my conscience, _

_ It was never really there. _

_ Your fingers up inside of me feel like fingers down my throat. _

_ Everything is fine in Heaven, but I’ll never get to know. _

_ Make sacrifice in bathtubs _

_ And stained bed covers. _

_ Soak all my clothes in holy water. _

_ Drown them like a crying son. _

_ Drown them like a crying daughter. _

_ Praying in the night to the angels of porn. _

_ Nails in their wrists, and knees on the floor. _

_ Great lakes full of cum, extracted from everyone.” _

 

“Nice song.” A voice said. Virgil turned around, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion at the figure. It looked like a child whose arms were crossed, and when it came closer, it looked a lot like Thomas when he was around seven.

“Who are you?” Virgil asked.

“Simon. Imagination.” He said, holding out his hand even through he was too far for Virgil tor each. He took it back after an awkward moment. “Nice dog, too.”

“Thanks. He’s cute, isn’t he?” Virgil asked, talking about the husky pup in his lap. He lightly pet it’s sleeping head and looked back up, noticing Simon was sitting in front of him now. 

“What are you doing in Roman’s imagination realm?” Simon asked.

“Well, Roman didn’t want to summon a dog for Patton, so I decided to come here and get one. I mean, he let me.” He paused for a moment. “I should probably bring it back there.” He muttered.

“Come on, don’t you wanna stay, Virgil?” Simon asked. “Just a little longer?”

“Su--” He paused. “How do you know my name?”

“I’m the imagination. I kind of created you.” Simon shrugged, reaching out and petting the dog. “So, why are you with the light sides now?” He asked after a moment. Virgil paused, looking up at him. “Just because I’m imagination doesn’t mean I know everything.”

“Alright then.” Virgil whispered before returning his voice to its original loudness. “Well, I got kicked out by the dark sides.” He hated calling them ‘dark sides’, but it was the only real way to address them at this point. “Was being a jerk, so they kicked me out to here.”

“I can get that. On both sides, really.” Simon said. “I mean, you were being a jerk, but you had your reasons, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was having a bad time and didn't know how to deal with things.” Virgil shrugged. “So, Simon. Why do you live in Roman’s realm?”

“It’s the creative side of things. It just seems fitting.” He paused for a moment. “Well, that and nobody else really has a realm. You have to be seriously creative, like it’s your only purpose, to have this kind of place.” He shrugged. “Simple as that.”

“Interesting.” Virgil said. “I guess the rest of us don't have this big of an imagination. Creativity isn't exactly and of our strong points.” He looked down to the dog and smiled. “I need to bring this back. Wanna come with?”

“I can't leave here, but I can join your walk back.” Simon said.

“Alright.” Virgil nodded, picking the dog up into his arms and standing.

“You don't ask a lot of questions for the anxious trait, huh?” He asked.

“I guess not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is messed up, i wrote half of it on my phone


	48. Dancing

“What's up?” Virgil asked as he walked down the stairs for breakfast.

“Roman is being a loser again.” Patton teased, glancing at Roman, who was on the couch.

“I can hear you.” Roman said, pulling out one of his earbuds. “I'm literally just listening to music.” He explained.

“What song?” Virgil asked. Roman grinned and pressed his screen a few times before pulling out his earbuds.

 

_ “I thought we were about to get serious… _

_ You know me and you _

_ I didn’t know you were making love at another place, too. _

_ I was ready to settle down, _

_ Now you won’t see me around!  _

_ You heard your lady. _

_ You’ve been a bad boy baby. _

_ I smell perfume on you, _

_ But I guess it's not mine, _

_ Where have you been? _

_ I thought you were mine. _

_ How could I be so dumb?” _

 

“Electro swing?” Virgil asked. Roman grinned and nodded. “Didn’t pin you as a swing kind of guy.”

“Perfume by Annella. Good song.” He said, putting his earbuds back in.

“You can keep playing it.” Virgil said.

“Do you like swing?” Patton asked. Virgil just shrugged. “Well, it's okay if you ask me.”

“It's wonderful.” Roman argued. He looked up to Virgil and smiled. “Dance with me.”

“What?” He asked. He heard Patton snickering behind him and glanced over seeing his expectant look.

“You heard me.” Roman said. “Come on, Vee. Dance with me.” He stood up and held a hand out. Virgil bit his lip and slowly walked over before taking his hand. Which might have been a mistake, as the moment he did, Roman dipped him down.

Virgil laughed. “You're such a dramatic asshole!” He exclaimed, pulling himself up and out of Roman’s grasp. He stood on his toes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Oh, but you're still amazing.”

“That's gay.” Roman whispered, his face heavily flushed.

“Oh, come on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all realize after the next chapter angst is gonna come back like 5 times harder than before right?


	49. Fire!

“Hey, Remy?” Virgil asked, looking up from his phone to Remy, who was sitting on the opposite end of the table. He glanced up and raised an eyebrow. “Let’s just set shit on fire just because.”

Remy grinned. “I’m an expert at lighting shit on fire, follow me.” He said, standing up. Virgil followed suit and stood up as well following him as they walked up the stairs and Remy knocked on Roman’s door.

“Hey.” Roman greeted as he opened the door. “Whatcha two up to?” He asked.

“Do you mind if we step in your realm for a minute?” Remy asked. “We won't burn down the forest, I promise.”

“That's oddly specific-- are you lighting shit on fire?” He asked. Remy and Virgil both nodded and Roman groaned. “Go ahead, just don’t burn down any villages.” He said, stepping out of the doorway so the two could pass.

“Nice, thanks, Ro.” Virgil said, smiling and following Remy though and towards the entrance to the imagination. The second they stepped through, Remy grabbed onto Virgil’s shoulder and pulled him off to the side and into the woods.

“I know a good clearing I go to to set shit on fire sometimes, come on.” He explained as he dragged Virgil into a large clearing. “I have a lighter on me, so don’t worry.” he said, pulling a lighter out of his pocket.

“You always come prepared to just set shit on fire.” Virgil muttered, rolling his eyes. He looked around the clearing and noticed a burnt spot in the grass in the center of it.. “Well, let's do this.”

“We need to collect some stuff to burn, first, Vee.” Remy said. “Let's get some stick and leaves and shit.”

 

The fire was crackling loudly and it was  nice orange and red and yellow colors. It was warm when you got close to it, like all fire of course.

“This is nice.” Virgil said. “I like fire.”

“I know right?” Remy agreed. “It's nice, isn't it?”

It was nice. Everything was going nicely, and Virgil was content with life at this point in time.

_ But you know what they say. _

**_It’s always calm before the storm._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter, in fact really short....for reasons ;)  
> maybe the next chapter is a very big chapter in context of the plot :0c


	50. Watch Me Break Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* this chapter contains semi-explicit vomiting, btu this chapter is very relevant to the plot, so practice self care while reading!!

There was a knock on the door. The door in the kitchen that nobody had opened since Virgil came. Everyone was frozen for a long time, before someone opened it. There he was.

Green. Green.  _ Greed. _

“Hey, asshole.” He said when Virgil finally opened the door. “It’s about time we bring you back, don’t you think? Hope you didn’t get too attached.”

The door slammed shut and Virgil turned back to the others with wide eyes. They were all looking at where Green had been when he opened to door, Patton looking confused and Roman and Logan looking afraid.

“What was that about?” Patton asked, looking to Roman who gave him a look of ‘are you fucking kidding me’ and Patton’s eyes widened. “Oh…” He turned to Virgil. “Virgil?”

Virgil felt his breathing getting quicker and his body shake slightly with each breath. He slowly sunk down against the table, sitting on the ground, one hand covering his mouth as his eyes widened. everyone was crowding around him, he felt so trapped and so scared whatthehellishegonnadoohmygod.

This probably would have been a regular panic attack, if it weren’t for Virgil vomiting. He lurched forward and ended up throwing up whatever he had eaten earlier in the day onto the tile and some on his jeans. He finished spewing chunks and started to cough up whatever was left in his throat, some of it going through his nose which was terribly painful. It left a burning sensation inside his nose which probably wouldn't go away very quickly.

“Oh shit!” Roman exclaimed, stopping back a bit when it first happened. “Oh god, what just--”

Logan cut him off. “Bad panic attacks can sometimes lead to vomiting, don't worry.” He stepped up to Virgil, avoiding stepping in the puddle of chunks. “Hey, Virge, breathe with me, okay?” He said, holding onto Virgil's hand. Logan started breathing a bit slower, and Virgil tried to breathe in sync with it. It took a long moment of the two just breathing and the other two watching for Virgil to finally calm down fully. “Okay, come with me, let's clean you up and then we can talk, alright?” Virgil nodded, going to wipe the vomit off his lips, but Logan stopped him. “Hey, hey, no no no, use a paper towel, I'll get one for you.” He said, standing back up and returning with a hand full of paper towel.

“Th-thanks.” Virgil said, his voice scratchy. He wiped off his mouth and under his nose, sniffling a few times. “I'm sorry, this...this is a mess.”

“No need to be sorry, you're going through something.” Logan said. “Hey, Patton, Roman?” He turned back, noticing Patton looking away, holding a hand over his mouth. “Okay, Roman. Would you clean all this up while I get Virgil cleaned up?”

Roman nodded. “I think Patton might vomit too, so I'll take care of that as well.” Patton made a groaning noise and sat down on the floor, glancing over to Virgil, but quickly looking away.

Logan nodded, muttering a thanks and standing up, pulling Virgil up with him. “Take a shower, and I'll get you a change of clothes.” He said. 

“Y--uh, yeah.” He nodded, going to walk away himself, but Logan held onto his hand, and walked with Virgil to the staircase. They made it to the end of the hall in front of the bathroom and Logan stopped him from walking in.

“Don’t do anything bad, okay?” He said, looking worried.

Virgil nodded, biting his lip. He didn’t even have anything sharp on him, but he should probably listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *EVIL CACKLING*


	51. Again

 

“Virgil, is everything okay?” Roman asked as the three stood around him, who was sitting on the couch with his knees to his chest. “Is there any any way we can prevent this?”

He shook his head. “No, no, they're hard to convince.”

“I’m sure you’ll come back after this, right?” Patton said, smiling softly as he tried to be reassuring. “They can’t just keep you forever, right? You’re part of us now.”

Virgil sighed. “I-I don't…know...” He paused before groaning loudly, curling his hands into his hair. “I wish I never got fucking attached again!” He yelled. He hated this, he hated this, he didn’t want to go back. He could feel strands of his hair ripping out of his scalp as he curled his hands into fists even harder.

“Uhm...again?” Roman tilted his head slightly, walking over to Virgil, reaching out a hand, which Virgil quickly swatted away.

“Yes! I was so fucking attached to Deceit, and when he left I fucking lost it and it led to them kicking me out!” He took a small breath so he could resume his yelling. “Now I'm attached to you guys and look what's happening!”

“Virgil, calm down, kiddo--” Patton was cut off by Virgil yelling again.

“No, shut up!” He shouted. “I shouldn't get attached to people, I shouldn't care about others, I should've just fucking cut deeper the first time--!”

“Virgil!” Patton yelled in a very stern tone, shocking pretty much everybody in the room. “Please, don't say those things! None of this is your fault!”

“Yes it is! If I had just done the things they asked and not been a dick, none of this would have happened!”

“If you didn't act that way you would have never…” Patton trailed off before sighing. “You would've never met us.”

“That's one good thing to come out of this! Name something else good about this.” He said. Patton barely got to respond to him before he was talking again. “There is none. Maybe I should've just been a good boy and have fucking obeyed everything they told me--”

Arms were suddenly wrapped around him. Patton, it was just him, he was hugging him. It was in that moment that Virgil started to cry. He didn’t want to go back, he didn’t want this all to happen again, he wanted to stay here, he wanted to be happy. He didn’t even realize he was thinking out loud until Patton started muttering reassurances.

“I'm sorry, I'm being a dick.” Virgil whispered. “Meeting you guys was a huge thing, I don't know why I said it was bad.”

“You never said it was bad.” Roman chimed in, sitting next to Virgil and wrapping an arm around him as well. “You just said it was a good thing to come out of this.”

“And we're so glad we were able to meet you, Virgil.” Logan said, sitting next to Patton, who was still hugging Virgil. 

“It's gonna hurt like hell if I never come back. This is torture.” Virgil muttered. “Shit, what are we gonna tell Thomas?”

Patton finally pulled away. “Do you wanna tell him you were a dark side?”

Virgil shook his head. “Not really, no.” He sighed. “But what else can we tell him?”

“You're going on a journey through a different part of the mindscape.” Roman suggested.

“But what if...what if I never come back?” He asked. It became dangerously silent in the room before someone finally said something. 

“We can think about that when the time comes.” Logan said. “But right now, we might have to say our goodbyes. I don’t think they’re gonna give us very long when they take you back.”

Virgil nodded and sighed. “Do you think I could say goodbye to the kids as well? I don’t know if I’ll be able to see them either.”

“Of course, kiddo.” Patton smiled down at him. “I’m sure Emile and Remy will understand.”

“Fuck, Remy!” Virgil yelped suddenly, putting a hand to his forehead. “He’s gonna be pissed when he finds out about this.” He muttered. “This’ll be fun.”

 

The kids were upset. They barely knew him and they didn’t want him leaving.

Roman’s goodbye was more heartfelt than he would expect from such a sarcastic person, but he understood why.

Patton hugged him for a little longer than usual.

Logan, the stoic bastard, almost started crying.

“You ready?” Green asked. Virgil barely nodded.

He sighed and walked through the door, giving one last glance back at the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if youre wondering how much i felt bad for virgil in this chapter, i was shiny pokemon hunting while writing this so that answers that  
> also, in the notes of enxt chapter, I will include an explanation for all the dark sides!


	52. Here We Go Again

The area was familiar but foreign. He had been gone for almost two years or so now, was it? He wasn’t fully sure, but he knew he’d been gone for a long time. The place was just like the light sides’, but a lot darker (hence the nickname) and much, much colder. Not to mention how almost broken down the place looked.

Virgil sighed. “Green--”

“Max. Maximilian.” Green said. “We all gave each other names while you were gone. It’s easier than calling us by colors and roles.” He explained. “Pride is Oliver, I’m Maximilian, and Deceit is Dolos.”

“Oh.” Virgil nodded. “Uh, okay.”

“Something wrong?” Max asked, as if he hadn’t just pulled Virgil out of the place he felt most comfortable.

_ Oh, I’ve just been told that the way you and Oliver have been treating me isn’t the way a family acts and Thomas isn’t just weird.  _

“No.”

“Alright then.” He shrugged.

“What’s, uh, what’s with the bruises on your neck?” Virgil asked, pointing towards Max’s neck. He had purple and blue marks lined with red across his throat in the shape of hand prints. Max glanced down at his jacket and grumbled something as he popped the collar of his leather jacket back up. 

“Choking games.” Max shrugged. “Oliver’s got the same marks.”

“You sure you two didn’t fuck the shit out of each other?” He asked, crossing his arms. He needed to remember to be more like him in the older days, when he was, well, an asshole.

“We aren’t like you and Deceit.” He said in a cocky tone, his voice almost nasally.

“You better shut your mouth.” Virgil snapped.

“Ey, welcome back, dickhead.” Oliver called out from the couch. He stood up and walked up to him and grinned, holding his scaled hand out. Virgil just glanced down at it, giving him a look of ‘fucking don’t’. “Wow, only about five minutes back and you're already a dick.” Virgil just shrugged. “Tsk. Whatever.” 

Virgil looked behind him and noticed Dolos on the couch as well, sitting cross legged and staring at the coffee table as if avoiding Virgil’s gaze. He glanced up to him once before looking back down.

Max walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, making Virgil flinch. “Well, buddy-” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Whatever. Welcome back.” He said, grinning that shark toothed grin. “You’re probably gonna enjoy it much more than you did last time.”

Well, that had to mean the opposite. He remembered all the things that went down in this room alone. So many memories, and none of them good.

He could name a few.

  1. The time Oliver burned his arm after finding out about Virgil’s self harming habits. He claimed that he was “helping” him by hurting him himself.
  2. The times they locked him in a closet and wouldn't let him out.
  3. The time Max beat him for breaking something on accident.
  4. The time Max broke his arm. No further explanation needed, really. Max was just bored.
  5. The April Fools when they drugged him and almost killed him.
  6. The time they blackmailed him and Dolos into breaking up.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for shorter chapters, im just....rly excited to write the others that I keep forgetting these need to be done! Also, here's a quick explanation of all the dark sides in my au so nobody is confused.
> 
> Oliver/Pride   
> Personality: a personification of being prideful and conceited. Only really does things for his own material gain, or for his own entertainment. He sometimes helps out Maximilian just because he's a bit weaker than him and doesn't want the shit beat out of him.  
> Looks: Wears an orange bandana, a sleeveless jacket with an orange shirt underneath, has scales covering both his hands and feet. He’s got those chain earrings that connect with a higher part of the ear, yknow? Yknow that thing, yeah that thing
> 
> Maximilian/Greed  
> Personality: a VERY extreme personification of greed. Does whatever the fuck he wants, no caring for what others think or want. If Thomas wants someone to be hurt, but would never act on it of course, greed acts on it with the other sides instead. It doesn't matter what he has to do, he'll do it. He's also a personification of the fight response, thus explaining the anger he holds.  
> Looks: Scales cover his eyes like a mask, leaving his eyes to look just like a snakes. He covers it with sunglasses though. Wears a leather jacket with a green shirt underneath and torn up camo jeans. Ears pierced with triple helix piercings. Fingerless gloves like some kind of nerd
> 
> Dolos/Deceit   
> Personality: as we all know, the personification of lying and the lies we tell. He's not exactly a bad guy, he's more...chaotic neutral. He does what he needs and wants, but takes no consideration of those he does not care for. He's morally grey, and is aware of this, and sometimes wants to change it. If it means stopping doing his job of making Thomas lie? Fuck no. Maybe helping someone out of a bad situation? Maybe.  
> Looks: Y’all know
> 
> Virgil/Anxiety   
> a personification of the flight response. Quite the opposite of Maximilian. We all know Virgil already, so I'm not gonna go into much detail. There’s not much to say since we know him so well.


	53. Like Lovers Do

_ They had been together for almost five years. Of course, with all relationships, they had their arguments but they always had made up afterwards. It was never really a bad relationship. _

_ It was any other day and the two woke up in Virgil’s room, but something was different. They had never left the door open. They dismissed it, praying to whatever god there might be that nobody had looked into the room. Turns out the reality is sometimes worse than the truth. _

 

Max and Oliver had left the room to do god knows what, leaving Dolos and Virgil alone. Virgil sighed and sat down on the opposite side of the couch to Dolos, who just glanced at him and smiled a bit before looking away. Brothers on a hotel bed.

 

_ Nobody was downstairs when they checked. It was honestly very concerning. But they didn’t question it. Oliver was the first one to come downstairs after a while. He didn’t say a word as he grabbed Virgil’s arm and pulled him aside. _

_ “You should probably learn to lock your door before Greed finds out about you two.” _

_ “What do you...what do you mean?” _

_ “Don’t play stupid, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Oliver growled. “And listen, maybe you should think about being nicer to me. Because I happened to see you two, and I have evidence. I’m sure you wouldn’t want Green finding out about this.” _

 

“Hey...I’m sorry about what happened when we were with the light sides.” Virgil said. Dolos looked up and chuckled. 

“No need. I  _ don’t  _ get it.” Dolos assured him. “I  _ should’ve  _ pushed you like that.” Virgil smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, but I was kind of a dick about it.” He muttered.

“ _ Yes,  _ you  _ were. _ ” He said. “ _ Do _ worry about it.”

 

_ “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Virgil asked, a bit louder. Dolos looked up from his phone, a bit confused. “Are you trying to blackmail us?” _

_ “That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Oliver nodded. _

_ “Is there literally any reason for you doing this?” Virgil asked. “Did either of us do some shit to you or something?” _

_ “No, it’s just funny.” _

_ “You’re an egotistical dick, you know that, right?” _

_ “Point of being Pride, baby.” He said, grinning almost happily. _

_ Fuck it. Virgil reached up and slapped him across the face. He stumbled back a bit, not expecting the hit. Virgil wished he could say he regret it, especially after what Oliver did next, but he really didn’t. Oliver usually deserved a good beating, and this was as far as he would get. _

_ “Fine, you must really want Green to find out about you two!” Oliver said, his voice raised a bit. Virgil could see how Dolos’ eyes widened in fear. _

_ “Excuse me?” Dolos asked. _

_ Oliver grinned, pulling his phone out of his pocket, and pulling up an image. “Caught you two last night. You can’t really call two guys sleeping together platonic.” _

_ “Wha-- first of all, yes you can, and secondly, what the fuck, Pride?” Virgil said. _

_ “Yeah, what the fuck?” Dolos said, standing up and walking over. _

_ “Learn to lock your doors, you two.” Oliver said, putting the phone back away. “Now, you can either break this whole thing off between you two and we can call this a day, I’ll delete the photo and never tell Green. Or you two can start being a bit nicer to me and I won’t tell Green.” _

_ Virgil stared at him in shock for a moment before turning and going up the stiars and to his room. _

 

Dolos moved leaned forward, looking at Virgil. “You... _ didn’t  _ keep the necklace, didn’t you?” He asked after a long moment. Virgil sighed and nodded, pulling the necklace out from under his shirt. “I  _ didn't  _ think you'd throw it out.”

“Did you throw yours out?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dolos pulled off one of his gloves on the hand with the human skin, and held it out, showing the ring on his finger. “ _ Yes _ .”

“Then why did you think I would throw mine out?” Virgil asked. Dolos just shrugged, putting the glove back on.

 

_ “This  _ can _ continue.” Dolos said once they were back in the room. “You know what they said. I-I  _ want  _ either of us hurt.” _

_ “Are you serious?” Virgil asked. _

_ “He’s  _ not _ \-- would you hand me the phone?” He asked, holding his hand out. Virgil pulled his phone out and handed it to him. Dolos typed something out before handing the phone back to Virgil. _

“We can’t trust him. If he keeps the image, we’re fucking dead.”

_ Virgil hated that he was right. _

 

“You know what, Dee?” Virgil said, pulling the necklace out from under his shirt and unclipping the back of it, tossing it to Dolos, who loosely caught it. “Keep it. I don't think I'll be wearing it, or wanting to, for that matter, any time soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, sorry for the delay! I've been writing a lot of other things and going on roadtrips recently and all that stuff and just haven't had much time to write this. I'll try to update more often now! I'm excited for the next chapters, so they might be a bit short because GOD I WANT THEM DONE AND I WANT TO SHOW YOU GUYS NOW! Either way, I'll try to update this more because we've got some serious angst and pain coming up!  
> Also, the title of this chapter is a song by Hey Violet, listen to it, it is amazing.


	54. Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evident by the title, this chapter contains blood. But not just that, it contains non explicit self harm. I don't go into detail or anything, but know that there is self injury in this chapter. No character death or serious injury (just a little bit of worry), so don't worry about that. Stay safe, practice self care before, during and after reading this chapter or skip it if you need to!

Here is a knife.

Here is an arm.

Here is blood.

It was a simple ritual. Something bad would happen, Virgil would find the nearest sharp object and watch the blood flow.

His knuckles went white as he gripped the edge of his desk. “One last time.” He whispered.

Not that he was gonna die during this session.

But he didn’t think the others would let him live if they found out he was doing this again.

He put his headphones in and turned the music up all the way, grabbing the blade and counting out all the things he had reason to be upset for.

Here's one for the time Max tried to kill him.

Here's one for the breakup.

Here's one for the time Oliver burned him for doing this again.

Here's to the pain here's to the hurt here's to the bullshit he's gone though here's to everything going wrong--

Oh god.

That's...that’s a lot of blood.

That's way too much blood.

He hit something, oh god, he hit something.

He stumbled out of the bathroom, leaving everything he was using at the moment in there, and walked to the closet. He knocked on the closet door with his good hand. After a few moments, the door slowly opened. Remy poked his head out, took one look at his arm and gasped. He went to say something, but Virgil said something first.

“Please, help me.” He managed to get out before he started to cry. Remy pulled him into a quick hug before whispering reassurances and kind words, moving the two of them to the bathroom.

It took a while to get Virgil off of him but when he did, he got Virgil to sit on the edge of the tub, and he ignored the blood that smeared onto his shirt.

“Hold your arm out for me, okay?” Remy asked. Virgil nodded, sniffling as he held out the cut up arm. “Vee, I'm so sorry.”

“I-I should be the-the sorry one here.” Virgil managed to stutter out, his voice weak. “I did say I wouldn’t, uh, wouldn’t do this again.”

“But I don’t blame you for it.” Remy said, grabbing a paper towel and wiping the blood off, making Virgil hiss at the stinging when the fabric his the inside of the cuts. “They told me what happened. I should’ve warned you.”

“You...you knew that they were gonna take me back?” Virgil asked, looking up from his arm, noticing how upset Remy looked.

“Yeah, I was gonna tell you, but they never gave me a specific date.” Remy explained, pulling the towel down and picking up the bandages. “They just said it would be soon. They got to you before I could say anything.”

“Oh.” He muttered, watching as Remy wrapped the bandages around his arm.

“I’m really sorry.” Remy sighed. “This is just a horrible situation.” 

“Mhm.” Virgil hummed, watching as Remy tied off the bandage. “I’m guessing the others are gonna…”

“Not be happy?” He finished for him. Virgil nodded. “Only one way to find out, I guess.” He shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the tub with Virgil. “You know I’m always here for you, right?”

“Yeah, I-I know.” He said.

“Because I’m here for you through this as well. I know everything is going to shit around you.” Remy said. “But if you ever need anything, I’m always here.”

“Thanks, Remy.” Virgil smiled a bit. Remy chuckled and wrapped his arm around Virgil, pulling him a bit closer. “You’re a really good friend.”

“You are too.” Remy grinned. “We can talk about this whole thing another time.” Virgil gave him a confused look. “This whole self harm thing. We can talk about it later, but right now there’s obviously something bugging you. And it’s not just you coming back here, I know that.”

“I-I don’t know, it’s just everything that’s happening and has happened. It's so…” He trailed off.

“Overwhelming?” Remy finished for him. Virgil nodded. “Yeah, I can get that.” He muttered. “Kid, so much has happened back here that I can’t even keep track of half of it.”

“Yeah, it’s all fucked up.” Virgil said.

“It really is.” Remy agreed. “But I think I need to tell you something else.”

“And that would be?”

Remy took a deep breath. “You know they’re angry at you for your last outburst when they kicked you out, right?” Virgil nodded. “Well, uh, they want to make sure you don’t ever do that kind of thing again. They want to hurt you again.”

“More than they have before?” Virgil asked.

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Remy said. “They just want to hurt you, make you realize that you can’t do that, I guess.”

“Why do they tell you their plans if they know you’re close to me?” Virgil asked. Remy just shrugged.

“Maybe they know I can’t do much to stop it.” He muttered. “Maybe they’re just assholes.”

“They are.” Virgil nodded. Remy chuckled and pulled Virgil closer again.

“Glad we agree on this.”


End file.
